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Q: Should my Chinese partner and I teach each other?
Hi gang!
Its my first post but I've been foraging around the job boards and the answers section even before I decided to create a profile. So thanks to all that have previously engaged and created the informative and entertaining content on this site.
After months of dating while I've been travelling and living in China I've decided to make the move to live in China to be with my girlfriend. Her English would be what I would consider a 5 or 6 out of 10 and my Chinese a 1.
I'm considering teaching English in the future (probably 6 months to a year from now) and if we stay together long term and move to an English speaking country I've recommended that if she wants to have any serious chance in the job market her English needs to be fluent with excellent pronunciation.
I've also thought that if she got to that point she could become a Chinese language teacher (once she has the appropriate qualifications (5 to 8 years from now part time).
So my question to you is "would you recommend that we create structured lessons and seriously work together to teach each other?" Would you consider this a relationship killer? Has anyone else had experience in a similar situation?
I've looked into university courses, private lessons locally and online and due to a number of personal reasons (would prefer not to go into them on my first post here but if they are necessary to answer my question I would divulge) and money being ... Reasonably tight (ok I'm frugal too), they seem less than satisfactory options.
I'd really appreciate any advice.
8 years 44 weeks ago in Teaching & Learning - China
Welcome to the forum ethos.
I am married to a Chinese woman who speaks excellent English. Probably better than mine.
But in my experience, just being a Chinese speaker does not make someone a good teacher. My wife is good at teaching English, because she studied it as a language. So she studied the structure, the grammer and all the other things that helped her be fluent.
But Chinese... wow, Cantonese mother tongue, Mandarin second language... she cant teach it.
If I ask her a question " what does this mean?", she can't explain. For some reason, English and Chinese languages just don't seem to connect in her head. It's one or the other. She can translate from English to Chinese, but she finds it difficult to translate Chinese to English.
From talking to friends who are also married to Chinese, this seems to be common.
I think if your GF want's to teach Chinese to foreigners, she needs to study how to do it.
When you traveled China with her, did you ever notice this one way translation thing?
ethos15:
Thanks for the warm welcome ScotsAlan. I see your point about the ability to translate from English to Chinese but more trouble the other way. That's generally when the dictionary app comes out.
iWolf:
My wife is exactly the same as Mr ScotsAlan's. Speaking a language makes a good teacher not.
I put money on the table that everyone with a chinese partner has asked "What did he say?" She will reply "I don't know"
On the (very) few times I have asked her to help me learn, she just mocks my accent and rolls her eyes.
My advice is don't try to learn from her. When you do speak to someone she will beam with pride even if you aren't perfect. Edit: download a torrent of Chinese Pod. I found a taobao shop in GZ that made the PDFs of the lessons into a book for each level for peanuts. The mp3s are practical(ish) but once you have the basic structure you will adapt to the local vernacular.
ScotsAlan:
Aye Royce.... with a very difficult to understand accent :-) My wife speaks better English than me.
ethos15:
iWolf, thanks for the response.
I was really intrigued by your suggestion of Chinese pod torrents. I'll have to do a bit of a Yahoo-gle and find out more about that.
Welcome to the forum ethos.
I am married to a Chinese woman who speaks excellent English. Probably better than mine.
But in my experience, just being a Chinese speaker does not make someone a good teacher. My wife is good at teaching English, because she studied it as a language. So she studied the structure, the grammer and all the other things that helped her be fluent.
But Chinese... wow, Cantonese mother tongue, Mandarin second language... she cant teach it.
If I ask her a question " what does this mean?", she can't explain. For some reason, English and Chinese languages just don't seem to connect in her head. It's one or the other. She can translate from English to Chinese, but she finds it difficult to translate Chinese to English.
From talking to friends who are also married to Chinese, this seems to be common.
I think if your GF want's to teach Chinese to foreigners, she needs to study how to do it.
When you traveled China with her, did you ever notice this one way translation thing?
ethos15:
Thanks for the warm welcome ScotsAlan. I see your point about the ability to translate from English to Chinese but more trouble the other way. That's generally when the dictionary app comes out.
iWolf:
My wife is exactly the same as Mr ScotsAlan's. Speaking a language makes a good teacher not.
I put money on the table that everyone with a chinese partner has asked "What did he say?" She will reply "I don't know"
On the (very) few times I have asked her to help me learn, she just mocks my accent and rolls her eyes.
My advice is don't try to learn from her. When you do speak to someone she will beam with pride even if you aren't perfect. Edit: download a torrent of Chinese Pod. I found a taobao shop in GZ that made the PDFs of the lessons into a book for each level for peanuts. The mp3s are practical(ish) but once you have the basic structure you will adapt to the local vernacular.
ScotsAlan:
Aye Royce.... with a very difficult to understand accent :-) My wife speaks better English than me.
ethos15:
iWolf, thanks for the response.
I was really intrigued by your suggestion of Chinese pod torrents. I'll have to do a bit of a Yahoo-gle and find out more about that.
I would not recommend it.
Sure, she would help you practice your Chinese... and you could help her practice her English but sternly teaching each other doesn't usually work out well.
You need someone to push you seriously... like a teacher or a guide. If your GF does it... things could get tense and negative.
I learned Chinese on my own... all the Chinese are like... Oh, but she can teach you! She must have taught you!... I tell them that no... I help her practice her English because it is her main opportunity. Once, I leave the house... the opportunity to speak Mandarin is everywhere.
I never hear of wives or GF teaching their foreign counterparts. Usually both just end up picking the most convenient language and building on it. Usually that is English... and in your case it would probably be English. If she couldn't speak English at all... and you spoke some Chinese... then your Chinese would improve massively.
Just the way it happens from what I have seen.
ethos15:
Thanks for your recommendation Robk.
Creating unnecessary problems between us is something that had been on my mind. I'm sure there will be many a cultural minefield to navigate, and why add fuel to any relationship's fire?
Yeah I'd say English would continue to be the language we spoke together as you suggested.
The best and most effective way is to communicate with local people. This method of studying Chinese is adopted by hanbridgemandarin, after do that, you will make progress fastly. When you teach someone, you also can learn something from him or her.
Haha, let me try to answer this one, ..i think if you just want to learn chinese as a language for daily use, like to understand in market or go shopping, sure, learn from your gf, just talk to her can do the trick. But if you want to use chinese as a working language, write mails even articles, or read chinese books, do find a teacher. chinese is quite complicated. And I dont think it will be relationship killer if you wont make it too strict and unpleasant.
ethos15:
Thanks lovedonthate, I'm still trying to decide what level of Chinese I want to achieve. I've gone back and forward on this a number of times... As I type this now I'm leaning towards rudimentary skills, able to buy things at the market, read a menu, brief conversations with locals and my girlfriends friends etc.
G'day mate. You mean you're going to move to China now? And not work for 6 mths or a year? And you're frugal? What are you going to live on while you're here?
Where will you be?
As an aside, i've been here since early 2010 and all I can do is order a cold beer. Not speaking Chinese doesn't have any negative impact on my life, as I see it.
Perhaps I feel a smidgeon of guilt for being so lazy and uninterested but not as much as I do for some of my other activities/attitudes/antics.
I'm an ex alter boy and guilt is never far away.
royceH:
To answer your question, I'd stay away from any formal teaching arrangement with your girlfriend. Try to live stress free, as much as possible.
ethos15:
Hi royceH, good questions.
I'm happy to spend money but only where I feel it is working for me towards my desired goals. I had managed to save enough money to travel for a while (which I'm now completing and am about to enter the next chapter, living in China).
I had planned on travelling for 6 months (SE Asia and China), then choosing a country to live for a year or two. This was dependent on how far I could stretch my money, before either heading back to Australia or potentially having other possibilities open up to me along the way.
I met my girlfriend while we were both travelling in Cambodia over Chinese New Year and we spent the next month travelling together. She then came back to China while I kept travelling before meeting up again in China where we've spent the last couple months together.
I had planned to study an Australian course externally during this year or two away, and while I'm still exploring all options this is still the most likely course of action.
I guess I've prioritized the living day to day over the formal language lessons which is a good indicator on how seriously I'm taking any language study.
royceH:
So you're here in China now. Why don't you consider doing some kind of Summer School teaching during July and August coming up?
You'll earn enough money to tide you over until you decide to find a more permanent job down the track.
Also consider this...unless you bag yourself a job that includes 'office hours' you'll likely only ever be teaching 15/20 hrs a week. Which will allow you plenty of time to work and still do that external study you talked about.
Mandarin short-term classes starts in 24th Jul lasts 7 weeks.Morning or Afternoon classes every Monday to Friday.Tuition fee:3800RMB Add: 83#, West Wenyi Rd, ZUFE Wenhua Campus.Email: info@ycchangzhou.com/Erica@ycchangzhou.com
sorrel:
why hasn't Admin got rid of this spammer?
is Admin only part time now?
i suppose that would explain the same 'answer of the day' for the last month.
Lord_hanson:
The admin team is on holiday until Tuesday now. Please feel free to break all the rules.
Dont do it. The first time a third party mocks your Chinese, your partner will join in the mocking rather than lose face.
