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Posts: 7178

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Q: Should we fight our mother in laws?

Or just let them win?

I have tried... I cant win.

I had a major rant yesterday because my MIL covered the extractor fan drip tray in clingfilm.

She does nothing to help her grandkids education.

Chinese grandmas are useless. Should we fight them?

6 years 11 weeks ago in  Family & Kids - China

 
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Shifu

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I've got a good relationship with mine but, I will put my foot down if there is something I do not agree with. I let a lot of things slide cos they just aren't big enough to worry about considering the amount of help she gives us with the kids. She does know that when I am not happy, it's for a reason. I have to say though, my wifes parents really are not your typical PRC in-laws. If they were, I would not have been married in the first place.

ScotsAlan:

As a matter of interest, does she live with you?

6 years 11 weeks ago
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mike168229:

At the moment she does as we have a new baby and the help is invaluable. 

The in-laws actually live in our smaller old flat about three k's away from us. 

We have lived together in the past, when our first child was born but, after I did a stint in the UK working, the missus decided that it was not good for us to be in such close proximity. 

6 years 11 weeks ago
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6 years 11 weeks ago
 
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Posts: 511

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I have a good relationship with my MIL. I have to opposite dealing with education then you have...she all about education. Everything they do revolves around learning and education. My son's not in school yet but she constantly teaching him.

Does she live with you? This could be the problem.we moved close enough to her parents that she don't have to stay there but can come over whenever she want and vice versa.... it's random when she comes over but I would say she spends 5 days out of the month with us. I know I hear a lot about bad MIL's...what saved me though is my wife's brother has 2 kids so she deals with them more since they both work...where my wife works at home. I got a bit lucky I guess....she is a very pleasant woman to be around.

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6 years 11 weeks ago
 
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I never knew what 'MILF' stands for on porn sites ....

coineineagh:

It stands for Mother-in-law? F*#%!!

6 years 11 weeks ago
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icnif77:

Thanks! I was just messing with Scottish!

She took over his apartment, so best solution  would be to rent new  one-room apartment for 'MIL without any of F'. LOL

6 years 11 weeks ago
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6 years 11 weeks ago
 
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no flipping way would I live with my mother in law... one month...been there done that...love her     still do.....  not telling me how or when or why to run MY  home. 

stress is a serious killer. 

 

get rid of her or get your own place....  ASAP  

You can yap all you want about a child's well being, but if the homelife and the parenting are not  happy     ...  the kid will learn it, a lot quicker than I am learning to type. Bottom line, get the hell out of a bad situation  YOU GOTTA BE HAPPY!!!.....come back when you have got yourself in a good frame of mind.       kid is not first       you are FIRST      you gotta be HAPPY!!!!! TO  help the kid be happy...  impossible to fake it..

biggj123:

I agree 100%...You can't live with her full time...no matter how much you like her it won't work... she can for a weekend or part of the month...but she has to go home lol....people need their privacy...and if you don't like your MIL...well...how could that ever work? Although she never told us how to live either...shes acutally quite reasonable. As long as everyone is happy and healthy...shes happy with that.

6 years 11 weeks ago
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BHGAL:

if I was you....   I would leave today/tomorrow   with a change of clothes and some BEST WISHES

6 years 11 weeks ago
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biggj123:

Leave where??? Why would I do that? It's my house lol...im happy with my situation...maybe this was ment for Scot Alan?

6 years 11 weeks ago
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BHGAL:

for sure  meant for scots,,,,who I consider a personal friend..few years yapping here, qnd a couple beer.
I would never live in a house that I did not have some  kind of "control" over ..commune shit, not for me....somebody has to go!!   

6 years 11 weeks ago
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6 years 11 weeks ago
 
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My MIL has a sense of cleanliness her daughter hasn't inherited. I wish we could all live together all the time. Also because my 2 young boys are a handful.

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6 years 11 weeks ago
 
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Will it make you feel good or any better if you fight with her and win ?

On the other hand, if you let her win....finally you will be the winner, knowing in your heart  that she won only because you let her win.

 

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6 years 11 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1263

Shifu

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I've got a good relationship with mine but, I will put my foot down if there is something I do not agree with. I let a lot of things slide cos they just aren't big enough to worry about considering the amount of help she gives us with the kids. She does know that when I am not happy, it's for a reason. I have to say though, my wifes parents really are not your typical PRC in-laws. If they were, I would not have been married in the first place.

ScotsAlan:

As a matter of interest, does she live with you?

6 years 11 weeks ago
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mike168229:

At the moment she does as we have a new baby and the help is invaluable. 

The in-laws actually live in our smaller old flat about three k's away from us. 

We have lived together in the past, when our first child was born but, after I did a stint in the UK working, the missus decided that it was not good for us to be in such close proximity. 

6 years 11 weeks ago
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6 years 11 weeks ago
 
Posts: 7178

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As a warning to any foreigner planning to marry a Chinese national... be aware of the mother in law.

As a warning to any chinese national planning to marry a foreigner, be aware of your mum, and more specifically, that your family might 'dump' her on you.

I cant imagine what it must be like for foreign women who marry a Chinese 'son'. Mind blowing.

Note for all young uns thinking of marriage, the mum is part of the deal Smile

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6 years 11 weeks ago
 
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A:  "... through ..."?  Only "through" comes to mind is "S
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