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Q: So, I slept with a teddybear the other night. Now what?
Before last night, I've had the bear with me every day of my life, and to be honest, I have hugged him to fall asleep almost every night. I don't dress it ever as that would just seem wierd. This teddybear is mad cute. He is starting to look dated as the fluff inside is going flat, but this only builds on his character. I am pretty sure where to go from here, except how to turn this into a sensible question. I guess it is a dead end unless I soak teddy in baijou and light him on fire... then it will be a China related issue.
My god, you're sick! You're sleeping with my brother!
Hotwater:
So your brother hasn't come out to you yet? Sorry you had to hear it from someone else.
Scandinavian:
I think it is mainly the polyester stuffing that is preventing a teddy bear in coming out as a flaming homo.
Hotwater:
Polyester? Oh my god......you'd have to be careful "stuffing" this bear to avoid the shocks from the static generated!
Suppose the other risk is if it's not flame retardant polyester...might easily becoming a flaming homo then if the static sparked.
I hope it wasn't Rupert from Family Guy, because Stewie will hunt you down if he finds out.
Show us a picture or it didn't happen.
Is it a Sichuan teddy bear? Then it's related to China.
Otherwise, tits or GTFO.
DrMonkey:
Today, on Shangaiist, I read of a new fashion amongst tuhaos : stuffed Polar bears. So there's your link !
Is the teddy married ?
Just imagine how teddy's wife will feel when she finds out her teddy had sex with a man 
.
I do this every night...actually me and my gf had couple bears...I''m not kidding.
I think I have walked 8 or 10 miles today getting things for my apartment that I moved into just today... I am finally sitting down with a rum in hand. Now I am realizing that I will have to go walking one more time today... to search for a teddy of my own. I shouldn't have logged on here.
You guys have really made me depressed now that I realise what a boring life I have. All I managed to do last night was sleep with my wife. Now I hear of the boss's wife, the ESL teacher, the Canadian and best of all the teddy bear. I really need to get out more and experience life in all of its endless variety.
Scandinavian:
don't feel depressed, tonight go to one of those Kareoke Teddybear-vision places, order up a nice big cup of warm milk (you can Irish it up if you like) and see if there isn't a nice Teddybear hostess you can spend some quality time with....
.... or you could simply seize the chance of starting you own thread "So I slept with myself last night, now what" thread where depending on you liking you would be more or less graphic with the auto-erotic events of the night.
i am disgusted that you choose to share your sordid exploits with your teddy online. 
most guys don't need to brag about it publicly.
Have you no shame or sense of decency ????
And to brag about a Chinese teddy ??
There are some sensitive flowers who have probably fainted, reading what you have shared.
Why don't you go to a regular teddy-porn site to do your boasting ?
Teddybears only get better with age. Don't burn your Teddybear. You'll have to deal with the Teddybear police and maybe a manufacturer, as you disprove its flame retardant.
Worse would be dealing with WSPCTB, cruelty to Teddybears is not taken lightly. Sexual abuse of a Teddybear is rarely reported, however it is graded, you rate a lowly 4.
Stop stealing chinese teddy bears! They are for Chinese men only! Go back to your own country! The teddy is only with you for your money and passport anyway. It will leave you once it has citizenship.
Scandinavian:
who says I didn't pick up this particular teddy in a claw crane in a dirty back ally in Bangkok ?
Lord_hanson:
Your bear doesn't go by the name dirty pete? does it? I may be "familiar" with it. ehm.
You have been charged with violating the sanctioned "TED-D BEAR MOLESTATION ACT 532044". This act was created due to the significant amount of plush toys that have been sexual victims from over zealous dogs, cats, humans and sometimes rabbits.
The punishment includes being raped simultaneously by:
Paddington Bear
Smokey the Bear
Kung Fu Panda
The Coca-Cola Bear
Yogi Bear
and a very large and very hairy in-mate named "Queeny Bear".
How do you plead?
