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Q: Spring Festival Hong Bao panic
I'm going to my girlfriend's family's house for Spring Festival and I have to give the Hong Bao? My girlfriend has a couple of cousins with kids and a niece and nephew so I'm gonna be giving out a few... Have any of you done this? How much did you give? Should I give the same amount as my girlfriend or do we give it together? I asked her but she said we'll sort it out later, but I'm worried that it'll be alot...
Yes, you should give HBs to all children. As "visiting" at this time portends marriage, you need to figure out quick just how serious you are. The more serious = more money in the HB.
Use new bills, even amounts, avoid anything with 4, wear clean underwear...
Congratulations on your impending nuptials (whether you're aware of them or not)!
Hal195:
I'm in my early twenties and she hasn't given me any pressure so far and her parents like me. Maybe that will change but I'm enjoying things for now.
There are only 4 kids to give to so I was thinking 100 for each? Is that normal considering I don't know them?
Sinobear:
Then start with 100, and add 10 for each year difference of the kids (as long as you don't end up with an amount with a four). Way back when, I used to get 2000 in brand-new 10s from the bank to give to kids, security guards or others for whom the HB was just a polite gesture).
Mike and Vicki also have good suggestions, so it's up to you to decide what would give/save you face and that of your gf.
What province are you in???
If you in guangdong then you should recieve and not give as your are not married. My wifes parents gave me hongbao for years. Now we are married and I must give.
Also things to consider.... Is your GF from a top tier city?? Then you shouldnt be expected to give alot. Maybe just a token 1 or 2 hundred for the very youngest as a gesture.
But if your girl is from a lower tier farmer town city you are screwed. Parents grandparents all children and they will be counting.
If shes not telling you and you wanna know what kind of family she has back home toss out these seemingly random questions and see what she says.
1 Hey i heard that chinese people need to give some of their salary to their parents every month. Do people do this????
A: Yes, i give it/ yes I will need to give it ,/yes everyone must do this to be a good child and pay their parents back .
(Any of these answers come out, either run or brace for the worst. Your the future ATM. At the very minimum be aware of this. Keep your ears to the ground)
If she doesnt do this or very faintly sais that she should one day then her parents are fairly set up and are not sitting on a farm somewhere waiting for their daughter to get married so they will be set. This is good.
2: ( Ask this veeeeeery casually lest your intentions get misconstrued) Hey, my friend is planning to marry and he has to give his gfs parents 50 to 100K isnt that crazy???
A: Oh people used to do that but its kind of crazy. His girlsfriend is probably from Hunan. ( This is the best answer you can hear. Keep her and dont sweat about spring festival hongbao. Your clear.)
B: Yea everyone must do this. I think that price is fair.
( Your super screwed. In life and this spring festival. Start saving buddy!)
Strawberry66:
In my city,I think many people ask 100K from the guy who is going to marry the daughter as a cultural gift.But the parents usually only keep 20K-30K as gift and return the rest of money back to the guy.
My parents do not really want my money but I save some money to give them as I consider they are getting old and having no insurances and not having lots of savings as they spent so much money on us.
But they damn pushing me to get married hard.Sometimes hurt me by saying mean words to push me to get married.
I understand parents are worried about daughters getting older and still single,but not push too hard.
Hal195:
Haha if she wants that much money to get married I don't think she'll marry me 
We're going to Chongqing
mike695ca:
Oh man your screwed. CQ girls are famous for being hot. But also money grubbing and materialistic. And yes it is a sore spot for me hahaha. Maybe shes great but family is different. And shes not looking at your bank book now, but she sees potential. Get ready for some conversationa about how you could be earning so much more! I hope im wrong man, but the list of dudes screwed over by the hot CQ girls is a long one.
I don't think you have to give out the HongBao to those kids as you are not married to your girlfriend.It is not necessary for you to do this in Chinese culture.Just go visit your girlfriend's family and bring a bottle of good wine to the dad and some stuffs to the Mom.I think that is all you need to do.You are not responsible for giving gifts to others in our culture unless you are trying hard to give a good impression to every one in your girlfriend's big family^^
My advice,don't do it.
My relative has many kids and I never gave HongBao to them.I only gave Hongbao to my own sister's son every year.I usually give around 200-500rmb.My family is in ZheJiang province.
I only buy mum and Dad gift,the price of gifts depends on how much I make this year.But I don't buy gifts to my sisters that much even one of my sisters will complain as I think it is not my duty to buy everyone gifts as I am not super rich,just having a decent income working as an employee in a company^^
