You need a hobby! Why not try some MOOC courses and upgrade your skills in preparation for the inevitable repatriation or just to keep yourself busy?

Yes, this is a major problem in China, everything is so cheap and convenient (except bureaucracy) that you end up becoming a lazy arse.

You can find a hobby, you can start learning Chinese, you can try to improve yourself physically of mentally, you can join a group about something that you like, you can go out to explore places where you haven't been yet around your city, and so on.

But more than all, build a network of connections, build guanxi, and many doors will open to you, for your career or simply for casual things, most foreigners in China don't know a damn thing about their city until Chinese introduce them to this and that.

China breeds lethargy and apathy. You can't really fight it as long as you're here. But when you're back at home, I'm sure you'll be happy to be among motivating people, being productive and doing good things again. With a newfound appreciation for the attitudes; I certainly have.

And you'll never complain about western bureaucracy, corruption or inefficiency again. Now you know how much worse things could actually be.

A lot of ESL teachers end up living like this at one point or another. Some people love it but the lack of direction and productivity can get tough to deal with for anyone with a smidgeon of ambition. I'd say make goals for yourself. Are you looking to save money? Make a savings goal and try to find ways to increase your savings by cutting out some of the bad habits and by increasing your income. If you're  a teacher, there are also places looking for new teachers. Maybe you can find a higher paying full time job. See if you can teach extra classes legally. There are opportunities to teach on Skype and do editing work to supplement your income. 

How about joining the gym and making a goal to go x number of times per week? Or take up running outside if that's an option where you live. 

What are your plans after China? Think about what you can do here to transition back to life in your home country. Look into opportunities to pursue further education or training. Try to learn a skill online. Check out a freelancing website to see what's out there. 

I've gone through phases like the one you mentioned and it never made me truly happy after doing it for too long. Joining the gym helped me a lot - I feel so much better physically and mentally by sticking to a workout routine. Having a plan for after China has helped a lot too. It's nice to have something to look forward to. Finding a better teaching job and ways to supplement my income also has made me feel a lot better about myself. I know a lot of people here who just go out every night, sleep late, do the minimum at work and repeat it. I quite like hanging out with some of them on occasion but I just couldn't live like that anymore.

A rut can last six days, six months, or in my case, six years. Six years ago, I pressed the pause button, putting my life on hold and came to China. This dawned on me only in the last year or so.

(I empathize with you greatly and will not minimize your current situation by claiming my experience is unique. We are in the same rut, only I'm a few miles ahead of you in that rut. Everyone is unique and everyone has a different threshold. Shared stories sometimes help, but they never overshadow or upstage one's own very personal experience.)

My day-to-day is very much like yours with the exception of going out at night. I prefer my binge drinking and eating at home. It's cheaper and safer. Nonetheless, it's nothing more than a trap. The drinking especially. Be careful with the booze. In my case, too much alcohol can lead to fleeting feelings and thoughts of despair, desperation and depression.

And there is no one to talk to. I have neglected my friends and family back home due to laziness and lack of motivation. I must owe a thousand emails. I have no interest in my hobbies anymore except for reading and watching old TV series on the computer. No real drive EXCEPT crafting an exit strategy and a return home after I sort out a number of complicated issues here in China.

I don't feel sorry for myself and I hope you don't for yourself. As a stop-gap until you find more workable solutions to your ennui, find one thing that makes you happy or makes you laugh even if for only a moment. Then do it again. And then tell me what works. It might work for me, too.

Best of luck to you!

I want to be nothing but helpful, but a lot of times loneliness has a lot to do with depression or  leads to just what you say... confusion, what am I doing? You gotta get out, enjoy life.

It isn't easy.... especially if you came here expecting something that is just not here. 

me, I like doing "different" things, something I have never done before...  adventures, is what I call them... never done this before, so that is an obvious "yes" for me....  if it is, let's have tea, or go to dinner or an evening with family, well, I done all that before, so the enticement better be special.

go out and have some fun..... the same fun you know from home... it is here, just gotta find it   .........  from that will come some different fun, China fun.

I am in a small town, and there is lots of fun here... clean, delightful fun....... ENJOY!

As one who has had the same experience...I will say...you need to go home.

For a week or two or more...

It will ground you again and bring perspective to your current China fog induced rut.

I did....it worked for me.  China will suck you down deep into the gorge without breaks for sanity.

Actually, I would say a good 70-90% of ESL teachers end up living like this. I can sympathize because I have been through the same thing. 

How did I turn it around? 

I decided to learn a new skills during my free time and go to the gym. This helped immensely and I moved out of ESL into my own business. Humans can be quite lazy when given the chance and China really does give that chance.

You will begin to learn that it is not a place itself that drags you down but your mindset in that place. I found that most foreigners in China finally move out of their vacation period and decide they want to do something productive. They try and are usually shut-down by Chinese management or language barriers etc. They give up and accept they can't do anything productive and that's when the depression starts to set in... They start to move into heavy drinking and isolate themselves. 

You got two choices when this happens and becomes too severe. Get out of China or do something you feel is productive (if only for yourself). Exercise, socializing, learning new skills (Chinese), cleaning & organizing, helping others, doing something you are afraid of can all resolve this feeling if done continuously and in balance. 

if  the pic is anything like the person...  good looking blond.... might be an issue if she does not have the self awareness, the personal awareness, the confidence  to deal with the gawking .......thing is we all get looked at, all us white folks, man or woman,. 

Yeah be careful of that trap.  Especially the numbing alcohol.  I did that for years - ya mind just goes to sleep and before ya know it you're one of "those" expats - thousand yard stare, laughs at all the wrong jokes, dunno where home is anymore, ...

it is easy to get sucked into a rut as the daily grind can be just that - a grind.

dealing with repetitive admin issues can suck so much out of you.

Hobbies, such as i enjoy at home,  drawing, painting, are confined to my room because i don't enjoy the interruptions or the gawping/photos.

my enjoyment of relaxing with friends in coffee-shops has been reduced due to interruptions.

I began doing MOOC's early last year to keep my brain functioning on a variety of topics.

However, the new 'firewall' along with reducing access to much needed research websites, will no doubt hinder access to MOOC's too.

Spring Festival is a good time to take stock and make plans for the future. 

contact with home is essential for sanity.

Where have you been?

This is part of what drove me from China in the end.

My 1st year was mint.....great times, great place, great friends, good school.

Newly CELTA'd I relished my classes, I had a framework in what i taught but also had a high degree of autonomy...I used to spend hours of my own time at home knocking lessons together, updating materials, polishing..

Move on 12 months...crappy school in a crappy town.

Well the next town...so that would be a bus from the garden, a 10 min CRH journey and another sodding bus.

Leave at 10.30am get back in at 10.30pm to an empty apartment the GF who dragged me there went back to living at work M-F (crap idea!)

Clone WEBI centre...imagine that?...a poor imitation of a crappy outfit.

Teach the same lesson...over and over.

Most of the TAs resigned after an argument with the mostly absent owner.

Zero organisation....late pay....pointless office hours.

Any effort unappreciated

Work, eat, sleep, repeat.....

No time to learn Chinese, no time to go to the gym to reset the head.

Just Tsingtao and Zhongnan-bloody-hai on the balcony after work on my tod.

The DVD shop was the day off reward, that and going to the supermarket.

No escape.....eff that!

But I do want that 1st joy and magic back, perhaps it was me, perhaps it was the situation?

I dunno....

Get out of here.  Being in China is just dodging life, and it's not going to improve.

I'm not suggesting a 9 to 5 existence back home at all.  Life should be for living and being here can hardly be called that.  

Go somewhere interesting and do something fulfilling.

I really do wish you well.

You sound confused. Try to regroups yourself. What where your initial reasons for coming here?  After you make a list, add to it the reasons you have discovered while here for staying here ( ie, Spouse etc).  Are there reasons dictating it is absolutely necessary to stay put? If not, are there any reasons that at least suggest you'd want to stay here?  Ie, finishing goals.  Like are you actually interested in chinese? If you're only here do the money, then do whatever you can to save it up so you can get out.  If you are here for learning more about china and chinese,  sheesh, factor some of that into your life.  Schedule your trip to the Great Wall. Sign up for a chinese class which you're paying for so that you can't make excuses for skipping. Prioritize! There's way too many things so you can't get them all done in a day. Studying itself can take hours.  Let not mention grocery trips, cooking, or working out.  Choose different days to do those.   Even if you're dog tired at 5 , go home and sleep for an hour and knock off an item or two on your list.  It'll be worth it. 

I am confused... "realising you haven't really been keeping in contact with people back home, or updated your blog, or done an actual vested workout, or read those books you've had on a shelf waiting, or done any study (including Chinese learning) etc."

So - just why exactly haven't you been doing those things?? You claim that you want to, and you realise that these are some of the things you 'should' be doing - so pull your finger out and just do them!!!

Pick your first one - replying to emails. Get on to them! Set out exactly who you should be emailing, and then set yourself the task of doing just that!

Then, update the blog... what have you done since the last post that was exciting, interesting, seriously crappy, amazingly funny...

The biggest problem here (for ALL of us), is just starting to do something....

(and, after you've started on those things, keep going).

(and when you've finished, figure out something else to do.... Personally, I like doing Lumosity - keeps the brain going etc etc)

I say you should branch out and find more friends. Especially friends that dont drink. Ive never been a drinker myself but when i was a teacher that was all anyone ever did. This effects your usable income, your mood and your free time as well as how you feel. ( I have never felt hungover and motivated at the same time).

Not saying go completly dry but I " go out" once a month or two. Its still exciting when i go and i have the money to do it up well.

Now that you arent drunk and / or hungover every day im sure you will find alot more time to keep up with your family.

Next you should try to keep some semblance of a healthy lifestyle. Stop eating out every day. Wether the food you eat is cheap or expensive your not gonna feel that great about it. Even lazy asses like me can make decent meals on the cheap that will have you feeling well and spending little. One of my favorites is one potato , mashed, spinach with a dash of white vinegar and a pork steak. One apple also mashed with a little sugar and cinnamon if you can find it and voila , fresh apple sauce! All for about 14 rmb???

Next. Try not to alienate the chinese people around you too much. Yes 95% are dumb zombies but looks like your foreign friends arent so hot either so who are you to be picky amiright? My circle of friends is really small but i lucked out and found people who like to actually do things. Weekend roadtrips, hot springs. HK. Even go abroad together. UFC fights. Any sort of special event , wether its a sex toy trade show for shits and giggles. Or we save up for a few weeks and use a trip to Shanghai or something as an excuse to get smashed.

The point is, that if the people you surround yourself with are lazy and hungover all the time then your rut is gonna be alot harder to get out of. And from my experiences, short term, easy goals ( a weekend trip ect. ) are the easiest way to keep your mood up beat and focused and not wasting your days.