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Q: Is there a Male equivalent of xiao san?
As in, a "trophy man" for wealthy/powerful Chinese women?
If so, what would such a person be called?
Sino's right. Chinese refer to toy boys as ducks as opposed to women being chickens.
coineineagh:
those are prostitution terms, I believe. Calling a xiaosan a chicken is still considered an insult. ducks are gigolos. I don't think there's a male equivalent to xiaosan, because of gender roles.
louischuahm:
My definition of a prostitute is one who sells his/her body for money. Whether it's sold to one single person or persons at large, it's still selling one's body. I try not to complicate the meaning with exceptions because there are none.
Lord_hanson:
I agree, a xiao san is just a long term prostitute who has usually one client.
coineineagh:
Parents 'sell' their daughters for dowries here, too. They don't like to think of it as a sale, but it is. If you call mistresses whores, you should also extend that to a great deal of financially-involved marriages, and then you're on a slippery slope to calling all women whores. Many xiaosan in China are also marriage hopefuls, waiting in line for their turn at the altar. To some, it's considered respectable. And they definitely aren't screwing random men for short-term cash. It's the promise of long-term stability that lures them, just like married women. If you call them chickens, allow me to call you a chauvinist. Is it true or accurate? Who cares, right?
louischuahm:
What you are saying is that in this age, we still have ladies in waiting, much like concubines of old. Aren't mistresses playthings of rich men? What does a plaything do? How does a woman become a plaything? The same for toy boys. Women here lust for material wealth and they will do anything to get it, including selling themselves to the highest bidder. What do you call them? Parents who "sell" their daughters through arranged marriages are doing what they think is best for them, making sure they don't live in want and of course for face. However, there is a distinct difference between women who throw themselves to rich men as mistresses and those who married through family arrangements. The distinction here is MARRIAGE. Let's not go too far to include extra marital affairs because that's another topic altogether.
To keep this argument on track, let's just focus on the distinction between being legally married and being a mistress. I'm sure you've seen men in their fifties, even sixties having sweet young things clinging on to them. Are these ladies in waiting? Or are they whoring themselves? I think the conclusion is pretty clear.
There are cases where parents "marry" their daughters to rich men even though they know they are married and their daughters will end up as mistresses. These parents are no better than pimps, exchanging their daughters for cash. A worse description would be human traffickers.
My views on prostitution are very clear, if a woman gives her body for cash or material wealth, she is a whore. Plain and simple. Maybe I am a simple guy with strict upbringing about how these things are. I don't have mistresses and I will never have one. It makes marriage vows a joke.
I accept your views since you are your own and are entitled to it. However, I have my views and they don't necessarily make me a chauvinist because I don't consider women as playthings and I certainly don't have one tethering at the end of a leash.
coineineagh:
I agree with what you say. But China is a playground for the rich, and this conduct is socially acceptable. If it wasn't, people wouldn't do this. If you obscure the distinction between prostitution and other relationships, my guess is that it will make Chinese society even worse than it is now. Due to the 'starving farmers mentality', they'll just abandon any semblance of morality if you call them out for it.
A man without his own source of money has no place in Chinese society. There are rigid rules of society that aren't easily broken. A woman with enough money to have a male "xiaosan" would never do so because she could never respect him. Likewise, a man who chooses to live under the umbrella of a woman's wealth would be considered a pariah. As coineineagh noted, specific gender roles inhibit this relationship from becoming popular.
I know the term gigolo, for a man supported by a woman (a flat, expensive clothes, car, etc.) in exchange of a relationship. It's pretty much equivalent to a xiaosan
Yes there is. Its called. ..... I dont know the pinying for face liang? Nian?? I always just say it quickly. Anyways its little white face. Xiao bai lian.
Generally it refers less to a male hooker or a dude breaking up a marriage , and more to a young dude that is nailing and recieving cash and gifts from an older rich woman.
I guess if im reaching there is also another term. Eat soft rice. Chi yuan fan??? Not nessessarily an out of marriage relationship but a situation where the woman either supports the man or grossly out earns him. So i guess in some situations that works too.
