The place to ask China-related questions!
Beijing Shanghai Guangzhou Shenzhen Chengdu Xi'an Hangzhou Qingdao Dalian Suzhou Nanjing More Cities>>

Categories

Close
Welcome to eChinacities Answers! Please or register if you wish to join conversations or ask questions relating to life in China. For help, click here.
X

Verify email

Your verification code has been sent to:

Didn`t receive your code? Resend code

By continuing you agree to eChinacities's Privacy Policy .

Sign up with Google Sign up with Facebook
Sign up with Email Already have an account? .
Posts: 249

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Q: Is there a word for casual dating in Chinese?

Does the concept even exist? I tried to explain this to my Chinese friends and they told me that there's no in between stage- you go from friends/ no relationship to girlfriend/ boyfriend very quickly. 

 

Have any of you experienced this when dating Chinese people? 

9 years 37 weeks ago in  Culture - China

 
Answers (7)
Comments (6)
Posts: 1845

Shifu

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

I don't think it exists. At least not in the mind of a Chinese woman. They seem to think you are 2 dates away from marrying them after you first meet. In my experience it goes from "hello" to super serious in 1 day. It even happens when you are not trying to date a woman but simply be friends.

Eorthisio:

Couldn't agree more, I had no intention to date this girl but only to make some local friends as I was new in the area. On our first meeting we been to eat pizza, she was getting very... close to me by then, one hour and half later we were in the same bed. Two days later she was talking to me about our marriage. I was like "ehhh, wait, you are a very kind and beautiful lady, but I don't want to get married". That didn't prevent us to have more casual dates.

9 years 37 weeks ago
Report Abuse

flyingheart:

@ Eorthisio: Two days!  Well, that's a record even by the Chinese standard.  I wish you could have met me, who doesn't want to get married with a man I've been exclusively dating for two years.   In my mind anyone who wants to marry you sooner than three months is fishy.

9 years 37 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
9 years 37 weeks ago
 
Posts: 7715

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

I've heard that dating multiple people at once does happen. I even read a story where someone (female Chinese) was dating other guys right up until the wedding... 'just in case' sort of thing!

 

However, no, I don't know any terms for it in Chinese.

 

I usually make it quite clear that I don't want a girlfriend, although I like some of the 'benefits' that can come from some friends of the opposite gender Laughing out loud

Report Abuse
9 years 37 weeks ago
 
Posts: 4495

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

FWB

Report Abuse
9 years 37 weeks ago
 
Posts: 916

Shifu

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Chinese women can and will go out on multiple dates, that's just to choose which guy's best suited for husband material. If she catches a foreigner, then she has landed a big fish. As far as I know it, the moment you jump into bed with her, you are caught...hook, line and sinker. So be careful with these girls, especially if they are of marrying age, i.e. between 22 and 25. If you are caught two timing her, you'll end up paying her a "breaking off" fee - which is ridiculous, I've not heard of that till I came to China. There's no casual dating in China. If she goes out with you on a date, it's a date and with marriage in mind. Once she shows you off to her parents (whether you've bedded her or not), you are considered hers. The western concept of dating doesn't apply here. 

flyingheart:

Now I have a "big fish" in my net.  What am I supposed to do?  Sleep with him and leave him just because I grow tired of him?  That's western dating, no?

9 years 37 weeks ago
Report Abuse

louischuahm:

It depends on how you feel. You feel you want to walk down that path till the end? Then marry him. It also depends on what he wants, does he want to marry you? Yes, no? Search your heart. 

9 years 37 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
9 years 37 weeks ago
 
Posts: 7204

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

the period of time( 24hrs if you are lucky) before you are married indecision

Report Abuse
9 years 37 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2488

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

In most cases I agree, but what about the girls that are dating a guy but constantly trying to find replacement boyfriends on wexin or muo muo?  They have like 5 guys going trying to decide which one will buy them the most shit.  While they have the one poor sap on the side that is her " boyfriend".   

 

Shes obviously not serious about the guy, its her fall back incase these online guys arent super rich like they claim.  Isnt that  casual dating? 

 

The chinese have one phrase that is very suitable  骑驴找马  ( qi lv zhao ma)  which means, riding a donkey while searching for a horse.  Really cool, really chinese way to say casual dating in that sense I guess haha.  Hope that helps. 

humbug:

Haha that's brilliant... I've asked Chinese friends more about this and they said basically you have a boyfriend/ girlfriend but anything before marriage is pretty much ok...

9 years 37 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Redguard:

That is why I want to wait before Imarry.

9 years 37 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
9 years 37 weeks ago
 
Posts: 23

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

There is 'doing the splits' which means balancing two boyfriends at once whilst trying to work out which one has the best prospects. Also, I've met a fair few post-90s girls who have had a couple of 'paoyou' (fuckbuddies) in the past. I'm not sure there is quite the word you're talking about though, there never seems to be that prolonged period of courtship.  

Report Abuse
9 years 37 weeks ago
 
Know the answer ?
Please or register to post answer.

Report Abuse

Security Code: * Enter the text diplayed in the box below
Image CAPTCHA
Enter the characters shown in the image.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <img> <br> <p> <u>
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • Textual smileys will be replaced with graphical ones.

More information about formatting options

Forward Question

Answer of the DayMORE >>
A: Add-it: Getting into the recruiters ... You could also research a
A:Add-it: Getting into the recruiters ... You could also research any school/job offering posted by the recruiters ... as an example:"First job offering this AM was posted by the recruiter 'ClickChina' for an English teacher position at International School in Jinhua city, Zhejiang Province, China...https://jobs.echinacities.com/jobchapter/1355025095  Jinhua No.1 High School, Zhejiang website has a 'Contact Us' option ...https://www.jinhuaschool-ctc.org ... next, prepare your CV and email it away ..." Good luck! -- icnif77