My daughter is now 4 and sleeps in our bed so I moved into another room so I can sleep.
One day my wife will wake up to why it is our room and not our daughters

Back in the village everyone slept in the same room. There is no attention to children getting sufficient sleep so their brains can develop. Classic ignorance and selfishness from the parents side. 

I don't know how to deal with it, but certainly something to discuss as early as possible before impregnating a woman. 

Our son was sleeping in his baby-bed, but very soon ( about 2 month) he moved to our bed, without any problem, we was aware of the danger  and all was fine. he still used to sleep in between of us. You feel it in your 6th sense, that you can not move more to left or so

But since he is a really big now, and our 2x2,2m bed is gonna be not enough spacy now. ( I think we bought the biggest one available at Ikea, heheee )  He have own bed too, and sleeping there much often now and we all are happy.

 Since you are really big Hulk, you have to move to other bed, man

Put your foot down, it still amazes me to see how many new mothers still sleep with their newborns when it's such a known risk, and that is including many who are not Chinese. 

Even an adult sized pillow in the baby bed is enough to kill the unlucky baby who manages to get it over his airway.

Why add the risk of two adults with their adult pillows and heavy duvets, to me it screams stupidity, every time I see a post on Facebook where a new mother is sleeping with her baby (I'm at an age where many of my high school peers are now having children so there are actually quite a few of these) I want to tell them how poor that decision is and that they should rethink it, but I am not close to them enough to insert my opinion without coming accross as a high and mighty know it all, but if this is your own kid, don't take the risk, even if it puts you in the doghouse.

In New Zealand with a tiny population of 5mil 6-12 babies die this way every year, it's at the point where the coroner is suggesting public awareness campaigns. 

Do NOT sleep with your newborn

Do NOT let the newborn sleep in a crib with an adult sized pillow. 

Bottom line, your kids safety is number one.

Well, now is the time to turn the tables: "This is America. This is how we do it here. You do not understand American culture".

Co-sleeping is a known risk factor for 'cot-death', or Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). By that, I mean researched and fully documented.

I suggest you put your foot down, for the sake of the child, as well as your own comfort, and a good night's sleep.

I already put my foot down and hulk raged at her before posting this, and called her names and stuff. Which is bad... I haven't ever done that before. I think between sleep deprivation and her not listening to me, I snapped.

I posted this thread in hopes that it will help others who are in the same situation, or who may be expecting a child soon. You need to really discuss these things with your spouse beforehand (unless you're a fornicator, then you'll discuss them with your fornicatee).

My wife has been very accepting of my anti-traditional-Chinese stance on almost everything because I planted these seeds a long time ago, and showed her lots of documentation, etc. Co-sleeping isn't something I spent much time on at all...  I regret that.

She stopped doing that when I brought in several doctors to tell her what will happen if she co-sleeps. Keep posting whatever advice you have.,, save lives.

When it comes to safety and my offspring there will be no compromising. Despite no offspring being on the way, I am preparing mother in law for crazy concepts such as using the sidewalks instead of walking on the street. If we have a child born in China, it has to be able to survive a trip to my home country. This means, no split pants (it gets down to -20C in winter) no walking on the roads (people will stop but it is common to walk on the sidewalks and respect the rules), no TCM (if it can't get approved by authorities in EU as medical treatment is has no purpose in our child) 

In everyday life, OK I can tolerate some of the oddities. But if I am to be a responsible parent, then that is what I am going to be. The challenge is to achieve this without divorce. 

My pet peeve is when the "adult" pushes the stroller/perambulator/baby carriage fist into the street when they are going to cross it AND THE BABY IS STILL INSIDE!!!!

@nevermind,

http://answers.echinacities.com/question/kchur-xpatjohn-and-those-marrie...

"- There will be no co-sleeping (Babies die from that)"

I wouldn't have known this if it weren't for you. You saved my daughter's life with this advice. THANK YOU.  Seriously, I didn't know about it. I have a very good memory, and her sleeping with the baby triggered the memory of that post you made.

Thanks, man. Seriously.

To answer your question, I didn't care.  I did find out what the American Pediatric Association (APA) said about it and it's link to sudden infant death syndrome (SID), but they talked about the numbers and I didn't see it that big of a deal.  I did read the stories where people's babies died but for me it seemed like causes of death for certain things have gone up (e.g., like co-sleeping) because what use to kill babies (e.g., bacterial infection) have gone done so statistically these other ones are higher like co-sleeping.  Also she did not sleep between us.  We have a big king size bed so she pretty much got the other side.  I didn’t sleep next to the baby, also I became a very heavy sleeper.   Now she is 8 months and sleeps in the crib because I told my wife when they become mobile they will move and move fast, and falling out of the bed repeatedly can make her a special baby.  Also told my wife she might become an “escape artist,” took awhile to explain it in reference to getting out of the crib. 

In other things, I did fight a lot and grand/parents were crying because I kept my foot down with certain things.  We are still living with her parents.  They say what I do is "American way" I told them no, people still co-sleep and wrap the hell out of their child (see overheating and SID) in America or have them sleep face down (also increases SID).  I was raised with sleeping face down.  In China and the US they say on the back (US was after the 80s this was pushed for).  I fought against the pillow idea.  Oh, she needs a pillow, I was like no she doesn’t.  I was told, well for my area of China, that the back of the head being flat is beautiful.  One of the biggest thing was not wrapping them in 5 layers, I said no and they got real upset and said the child is going to die, wife said that they even said the air comes in through the belly button and causes gas and other problems.  I started blowing on the belly and nothing happened =\  You can say lucky for me because my wife listens to me but we had a strong relationship before getting married and before having kids and also I gave her all the books I had on babies that I was reading.  I have lots of books, I can send them to you if you like.  For the books, just PM me.  They are pdf, and they are by doctors or edited by doctors associated with the APA, also books on food for babies and story books.  I would read story books when my wife was pregnant.  (e.g., Dr. Suess, Bernenstain Bears, Thomas the Train, Curious George).  

P.S. I remember the grandma telling my wife if she doesn’t stay in bed for 30 days or doesn’t do any work she will have pain in her body because the grandma has pain now from not doing that when she was pregnant.  I was like uhh we call that manipulation and two we call that arthritis.  Also told my wife we have to be consistent so just because I’m not around or at work doesn’t mean the grandparents get to do everything they want because I’m not around.  

When my boys were born, they were given their own bed.  To protect them and make sure they were sleeping right, we placed rolled up towels around their head to keep it from moving and pillows around their bodies to keep them from moving around too much.

For the first month or so, my wife slept on a second bed in the room to make feeding easier and to be there in case anything went wrong.

After that, we setup a baby monitor (wireless w/night vision & microphone) to keep an eye on them while we slept.  Well, as much as you can sleep with having to feed them every few hours.

But, in all, our boys have never made a habit of sleeping with us.  They have their own beds and they don't want to sleep with mom & dad.  Though, normally, when they wake up in the morning, the first thing they do is crawl in bed with us for about an hour before really getting up.