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Is the cultural difference overwhelming? Examples?
9 years 13 weeks ago in Relationships - China
I suspect the cultural differences are more overwhelming for the Chinese partner.
For example, on the bus home tonight, a Chinese workmate was telling me about how good cupping is, how it works, what it does, and what it cures.
"Erm ok", says I, "Is there any scientific evidence for this?"
His reply.... "Erm"
"Ok", says I, " So its a load of rubbish then"
Just a random example of how foreigners are good at brushing off hocus pocus.
So when my wife comes out with certain things I can brush it off. When I say something, with evidence to back me up, she cant argue back. Even though she wants to.
I suspect the cultural differences are more overwhelming for the Chinese partner.
For example, on the bus home tonight, a Chinese workmate was telling me about how good cupping is, how it works, what it does, and what it cures.
"Erm ok", says I, "Is there any scientific evidence for this?"
His reply.... "Erm"
"Ok", says I, " So its a load of rubbish then"
Just a random example of how foreigners are good at brushing off hocus pocus.
So when my wife comes out with certain things I can brush it off. When I say something, with evidence to back me up, she cant argue back. Even though she wants to.
It depends on both parties. If you are a mature person, maybe older in age, you will have to deal with the maturity gap. Due to China's political environment, Chinese people are stunted in their maturity growth. They are less prone to self development. For Chinese women, this is in direct proportion to how beautiful (by Chinese standards) they are.
When I first came here, I was dating these stunning young gorgeous girls. I never got tired of the sex, but inevitably the long term prospects were nil. They were lazy, shallow and relied on their beauty. Do not expect Chinese girls to know how to do the domestic things that girls back home at the same age know. Do not expect them to have the work ethic or be willing to try new and difficult things. That being said, I eventually snagged one. She's not a supermodel, but she was eager to learn and easily influenced. Cultural differences exist, but only on a small scale (in my experiences). You just gotta learn by experience how to choose them .
SenseiSteve:
I eventually managed to snag the right girl too. She's older then me, but that doesn't matter. She's also spent time in Ireland, so she has an understanding of Western culture which helps a lot in our relationship. Sometimes cultural differences cause small disagreements, but other then that she's perfect.
It's about playing the waiting game. Chinese girls like to "test" their potential partner to see their suitability. If you can pass all of their "tests", it's worth it. If you can find the right one, Chinese women are great wives.
I got lucky. My wife is a special lady and I honestly don't think cultural beliefs and habits are playing much of a role at all.
She's not at all afraid of trying new things. If she likes the new thing she'll continue with it. If she doesn't, she won't.
Example: She recently learned how to bake bread. She likes it. So she makes it every day. Lots of it. Hahahahha....
Thanks for all the replies guys! I find it interesting how cupping is hocus pocus and bread baking is not? Who are the ones that are not interested in trying new things...?
Hotwater:
Only just noticed this answer as someone else resurrected this topic?
Is bread making hocus pocus? No....it's a skill that is defnied by scientific principples. If you use yeast you get leavened bread, if you don't its unleavened bread. Not enough yeast or the wrong tempperautre and it doens't rise properly.
Cupping? Please provide scientific evidence that it does anything? A bit like acupuncture....there is now a growing body of scientific controlled stuides that is starting to show it doens't actually do anymore than act as a placebo affect.
It can be. There were times when I just wanted to scream, or even given her a knuckle sandwich.
The issue is: can you BOTH deal with them? A marriage works when both are willing. Don't marry a woman who insists that she gets her way all the time.
Both of us are open to new things and experience, and from the start of the relationship I lead by example to have clear and honest communication between us. I tell her how I feel about things, and she tells me. In many ways she has helped me a lot better understanding the Chinese culture.
It is tough... many different perspectives on many different things.
Lots of clashes but if both people are willing to negotiate and somehow find a middle ground... any relationship with anyone in the world is possible.
You have to be willing to understand her culture and she should be willing to understands yours. Otherwise, the turbulence can get very overwhelming.
Chinese bodies are different.. Don't you know! That's just one pathetic cultural excuse I find in Chinese people.