Englteachted:

Don't tell her!!!!!

Sinobear:

Sage wisdom, but you also do not know what it has promised in its online site.

I knew a sibling-based business in GZ, the older sister made the promises, the youngest brother did the paperwork, but the middle sister was the 'xiaojie'...responsible for meeting, wining-and-dining the (mostly) middle-eastern clientele.

When I mentioned the personal risk the middle sister was taking, she thought I was being over-reactive, after all, what a sterling reputation towards women that they have and business is business.

Sinobear:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-white-knight-syndrome/200906/the-overly-empathic-white-knight

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-white-knight-syndrome/200905/white-knight-commonalities

dongbeiren:

Having another bad day sino? Been drinking again? I think you should've followed the advice from me and others and said sorry for your Robrocks outburst. Despite the unanimously negative feedback about your attempted justification you could never bring yourself to admit fault and instead have doubled down and decided to be a dick to everyone. It's kind of funny that you've selected me to psychologically profile. Keep it up, I might even click on one of your links. 

Viki87:

Dongbeiren,it isn't something of giving face. Most clients won't deal with a company without even have an office. A real professional company should have a decent office with some employees. Clients also need to visit the suppliers to be able to trust the supplier especially when they consider of placing a big order. Which is very reasonable to do.

Viki87:

...

dongbeiren:

Vicki, that depends on the company and what they do. I have a friend with a web design company that has existed for years without an office. She has part time employees who work remotely. No problems attracting business.

But if you insist on pretending to have an office maybe you know someone who can let you use a meeting room for a day or something. 

Viki87:

It depends on what business you are doing. With exporting business,many clients would require to visit the suppliers. Many will build a long term cooperation with the suppliers they visited. Use a meeting room is a good advice,thanks.

Viki87:

I don't do web design business. With exporting business,many clients will visit the suppliers as the business buying fund is usually a lot more than web design business. It is not really necessary to visit a web design company as it just few money.

Viki87:

The thing is I don't have an office,I can't let them find out. I only have a registered company.

Viki87:

I am so afraid of losing the client if I am being honest. Another fact is I am working on a high pressure full time job for a company from Monday to Friday. I am afraid that probally I have no time to meet my clients.

Hotwater:

So you lied to them and now have to find a way to deal with it? Maybe next time tell less lies?

Stiggs:

Yeah there's really no way they can't find out you don't have an office when they come to visit.

Viki87:

I told them My company is in Shanghai.

Hotwater:

So you need to question why they are asking you about Guangzhou! It's not difficult to see that they are far apart from each other. 

Stiggs:

Good point. It sounds to me like they are coming to China for other reasons (especially if they're going to Guangzhou not Shanghai) and want someone to handle all the details for them.

Don't pay for their hotel or anything in Guangzhou.

philbravery:

It is trade fair season in Cantong That might have someting to do wirh it

BHGAL:

I bet a lot of sports, but I ain't taking this one.

philbravery:

Some working titles could be The Burger Queen and the Nigerian Prince Check out my Buns You want fries with that I Might just wait for the movie

Kaiwen:

"What BK'ame of our Vikki".

dongbeiren:

LOL @ kaiwen that's a good one

royceH:

That'll be your job matey.  You're the bugger who's going to be swanning around the world with nary a care besides sunburn and what's for dinner tonight.....baked beans or fish....damn, let's have fish!

dongbeiren:

In spite of Vicky being Vicky, the fact is that she is real... a borderline troll yes but she is basically sincere if not misguided. And I have wechated with her a few times and I gave her some useful tips about going to New York and never hit on her (ask her if you don't believe me). Even if she's annoying sometimes it's not being a "white knight" to give someone an answer to a genuine question, this is a Q and A forum after all.

Sinobear:

She is a textbook case of a narcissist and borderline sociopath. By engaging her (other than sarcasm and derision) you are becoming an enabler.

Again, the utter hypocrisy displayed by a certain clique is most telling.

But, hey, don't take my word for it, Sorrel and Scots Alan have warned against dealing with her in the past.

Or, as someone else who seems to portend intelligence said, "Typical reaction, deflect, deflect, change the subject..."

Stiggs:

So......  by being sarcastic and derisive are you actually trying to help the girl through not "enabling her'?

So, when she tries to help herself, better her situation and starts a business, albeit with some mistakes and bad decisions being made, then asks strangers for help we all should be sarcastic and derisive because otherwise we would be enabling her, and therefore not helping her?

I don't portend to having much intelligence, but to me it just doesn't make much sense.

If you don't want people to reply to Vicky because you don't like her or whatever, just say it.

If you don't like what she says, or asks, don't reply, it's really that simple !  But don't try to use psychobabble reasons to criticize those who do want to try to offer some advice.

Englteachted:

The white knight usually doesn't hit on the damsel in distress they lie in wait hoping she throws herself at them.

dongbeiren:

Sinobear, believe it or not I do agree with you about something... Vicky is certainly a textbook narcissist. It's funny that you also labelled me that (narcissist, white knight, and now someone who pretends to be intelligent). You know, of all the people who pretend they're really smart you should really look in the mirror. You go to great lengths to inflate your sense of self-importance (you're an authority on every subject because you've taught psychology and AP classes in China and you can copy and paste from the Mayo Clinic site and other offficial looking sources) yet your arguments are pitifully devoid of logic and you come across as a bitter, angry old drunk who lives in the online world and probably doesn't have much going on in real life. It's also pretty hilarious that you label Vicky a narcissist and a sociopath (you may or not be wrong about the sociopath part) when your own behavior on this forum recently exhibits characteristics of both. Your inflated sense of self-importance and tendency to externalize blame for everything (you had that long thread recently where you detailed your long list of failures in China but were sure to blame everybody but yourself) http://answers.echinacities.com/question/what-would-it-take-you-move-back-home?&showid=276678#answer276678. Mike was on the money with his analysis about you I'd say. And your treatment of RobRocks was pretty sociopathic. Why is that Sino? Are you bitter that someone like Rob with his limited writing abilities probably makes as much as you do and gets as much respect? But that's not fair because you're brilliant and have been in China for almost 20 years and used to have everyone kiss your bum for being foreign but now you don't ge that respect anymore. Let me guess: you're having problems with your immigration to Canada and you're stuck here. That's too bad man.

Sinobear:

Sorry, I'm smarter and stronger than your pathetic attempts to buff yourself up.

I'm a happy drunk.

You are a hypocrite and result to throwing dirt on others to try and make something try to stick (kindergarten fighting). I stand by what I say - a tool is a tool. I think your age and lack of experience will be your undoing. You and Stiggs are mirrors of RobK and Mike695ca but without the cajones and fortitude to back up your bleatings. Good luck trying to seduce Vicki. I'll give her enough credit to suck you dry (not in the sense that you fantasize about) and spit you out.

dongbeiren:

Sinobear, once again your lack of logic and inability to process basic ideas are making communicating with you frustrating to the point that I'm not even sure it's worth it. But because you kind of amuse me let's go through your latest drivel point by point: 

"My pathetic attempts to buff myself up" - I'm not sure what you're getting at here seeing as I barely talk about myself at all - your only "evidence" for your claim that I'm a narcissist was something I wrote in a thread from half a year ago about me going to the gym regularly and feeling better physically and mentally because of it. It was a thread asking about going to the gym for fucks sake - so please explain how that's buffing myself up. Why do you feel so threatened by people who work out? How much of a drunk fatass are you? You also claim I portend to be smart but I don't really recall ever claiming intellectual superiority over anyone. Though I"ll freely admit I'm much better at forming cogent arguments than you are. But that's not saying much. 

Sinobear claiming he's a  "happy drunk" - I'm pretty sure anyone who's even glanced at this forum and your diatribes against me, stiggs, robrocks, expatlife26, mike, robk and other "white knights" would take issue with that statement 

I "throw dirt on others to try and make something stick" - quite the contrary. This whole feud started when I, along with countless others called you out for being a drunken boorish asshole to Robrocks. You have then continued to insult me personally by labeling me narcissist, white knight, "portent to be smart" , and claiming that I have an "invisible girlfriend". I never threw any dirt on you until I got sick of you constantly attacking me personally. Up until my last post all of my feud with you consisted of criticizing you for being a dick to others and rebutting your absurd claims about me. I only threw dirt when you continued with your insults. You could have just apologized for being a dick to Robrocks and I and everyone else would have dropped it. Instead you have continued lashing out at everyone. You can give it viciously to other but you can't take it. Pretty cowardly actually.

My "age and lack of experience will be my undoing" - not sure what you mean specifically here but yes I am considerably younger than you and was in grade school when you came to China - funny thing is I can almost guarantee I make more than you do now and am more respected by my students and colleagues than you are. I do have A LOT to learn but in my time here in China my income has increased five fold whereas according to your rant that I linked to above yours has stagnated or fallen. The ceiling is a lot higher for me at this point than it is for you in many aspects so I'm not sure that my youth is a disadvantage. 

Stiggs and I are "mirrors of Mike and RobK without the cajones or fortitude"- mirrors, not really but what Mike, RobK, I and others do have in common is the ability to see you as a bitter man with an inability to own responsibility for your failures in life. Stiggs seems like a pretty reasonable guy and I agree with most of what he says so I guess it's not totally wrong to categorize us together. As to not having the cajones of Mike or Robk, no argument there. Both have accomplished a lot more in lifethan I have  and I certainly don't have the cajones Mike has. Fair enough but irrelevant to the conversation. 

Try to seduce Vicky? - not worth responding to, I spent 5 or 10 minutes giving her advice about going to New York because I lived in New York for years. Sounds like maybe your alcoholism kicked in at the end of the post when you wrote that. 

Honestly, this feud amused me for awhile but it's getting old. You're not a very bright guy to argue with because you spew out illogical nonsense and don't actually address my points. You also resort to vicious personal attacks but then claim to be the victim when anyone criticizes you back. Sounds like you have a pretty fragile ego there yourself big man. If you want to continue this, fine but honestly why not just put out the fire and be nice to everyone? Just admit you were an asshole to robrocks and have been an asshole on this forum since and no one will care about it in a week. 

xinyuren:

Sinobear:

You need to understand what a narcissist is and understand what the 'white knight' syndrome is before you qualify what is being discussed.

How many times do you have stick a fork in an electrical socket before you realize that it's fruitless and a waste of time?

"Knowledge is power."

Deal with it.

dongbeiren:

Sinobear, I actually read one of those links you posted to describe me and it was about a girl who always has useless boyfriends because she had to take care of her alcoholic dad as a kid. She had "white knight syndrome" - since you are such an expert on psychology why don't you explain how Stiggs and I resemble her in any way. Let's put those logic skills to work to you know.... make a connection between the theory and the example. 

Stiggs:

@Sinobear. Call me a white knight if it makes you feel better about yourself, like it's other people who have the problem, not you.

The fact is, you started throwing this white knight stuff around when I, and a lot of other people made it clear you were being way out of line in a previous post of yours. We both know the one I mean.

It was a nasty, spiteful post designed to hurt the recipient and it was directed at someone you clearly thought was in some way weaker than you, and who had done nothing at all to deserve it. You were being a bully and a wanker, pure and simple.

Most decent people find bullying to be pathetic,disgusting behavior, even when it's online bullying as opposed to the physical kind. People getting involved to stop it is not some sort white knight disorder, it's normal in decent society.

This recent post of Vicky's.... people replied to her question, that's the nature of a forum ! Who the hell cares if she's a narcissist? You don't like her or approve of what she posts... fine, just down vote it and move on with your life but criticizing people who do choose to reply is just childish. Especially when it smacks of you holding a grudge for being called out for being a bully earlier.

Finally, I do know what a narcissist is, I just don't care if some online person I don't know and will never meet is one. Not my problem. I just believe that it isn't a reason to pick on them. You seem to disagree.

When you act like an asshole to people you can usually expect a negative reaction. Trying to say  everyone who disapproves has a disorder, and holding grudges doesn't change the fact that you were being an asshole.

Deal with it.