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Q: What are the biggest challenges to raising a child in a Chinese-laowai couple?

I am wondering what those who are in a serious relationship with a Chinese (and have kids - or have discussed having kids) think the biggest challenges are to raising a child in a cross-cultural couple?

I am thinking about all these stories about tiger moms and wolf dads, and wonder what people think.

8 years 26 weeks ago in  Family & Kids - China

 
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For us its easy as we decided to raise the kids In Australia
the enviroment is better for them
I think Identity will be a chalange as they go through their pre teen years
We visit the family in China as much as posibale but not being a part of every day life could confuse them
are you Australian or Chinese?
Australia isn't a problem as nobody cares less
But China     as you know can be very narrow minded.
I ask a Q the other week aimed at mixed race adults to get their thoughts but didn't get much responce.
hope this dosn't add to the confustion and look forword to see the responce you getwink

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8 years 26 weeks ago
 
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Emperor

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I have three year old twin boys here.  The biggest problem here is getting them to finish their dinner.  :)

Actually, the biggest issue is schooling.  But since my wife and I agree on that, it is pretty simple.  

If you ask my boys, the bigges problem is all the attention they get no matter where they go.  The constantly have people trying to touch them, take their pictures, talk to them, etc...  They have actually become quite shy because of it.

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8 years 26 weeks ago
 
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The grand-parents. Most will ALWAYS know better than you, and when you're coming from 2 quite different social environments, there's going to be some doozy arguments and fights! Quite possibly the MIL won't approve of you, and the children will get really confused about who they should respect more.. especially as it's often the grandparents who give the kids more of what they want - so the child's loyalty gets easily bought. This will all be especially true if they are more blinded by their own amazing culture and society (ie, they didn't really want you marrying their little precious, and you're not good enough for him/her!!)

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8 years 26 weeks ago
 
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Definitely schooling and deciding where to live. I agree that identity will be a big issue too.  In my case, having grown up bilingual (2 European languages), it will be hard to teach the kid to learn three languages fluently all at once. Also, since I relocated to another country as a kid, I tend to adapt the culture and customs of both countries. If the kid is to add Chinese customs to that, then that'll be really confusing. I'm afraid he/she will not be able to embrace all three cultures.

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8 years 26 weeks ago
 
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A: Going to HK would be the best bet I reckon, especially if you were loo
A:Going to HK would be the best bet I reckon, especially if you were looking for a church wedding. Chinese weddings are pretty grim IMO - you go to a barren govt dept with souless officials and navigate red tape so some guy can give you a red stamp and a marriage book. You get expensive pictures taken of you both posing in places you'd never go to in everyday life that is somehow supposed to represent your wedding, then a while later it's off to a restaurant where a game show host kind of guy makes sure it's as tacky as possible while the guests eat as fast as they can so they can leave as soon as they finish eating and gave you money. Hell, I'd go to Thailand or the Philippines and get married in Paradise.   -- Stiggs