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Q: "What are you looking at?"
How's this for a joke: When I was studying, a Libyan foreign exchange student was tasked to present the findings of his literary study during a presentation. The audience mostly comprised my class of Dutch Biology students and some professors. He proceeded to recite some snippets of faintly relevant info from studies he found off a quick google search. It was shamefully bad, and everyone in the room knew it.
His recitals were interspersed with deathly silence, as it became more and more apparent that he didn't care about the study, and the audience didn't want their time wasted anymore. People didn't dare speak up, because it should be noted that he was a hulking big thug in a leather jacket. He looked more like some Moroccan drug dealer than a real student.
And finally, the joke: It's hard to describe accurately, but the joke is basically him saying "What?". As the tension mounted, he simply couldn't restrain himself, and lashed out at the people who were looking at him. It was surreal. Can you imagine gesturing to the audience at your own presentation, to stop looking at you if they know what's good for them? It reminded me of my days in Tillydrone, Aberdeen, where bullies would threaten "tae nak yer heid aff" if your gaze stopped in their direction for more than a fraction of a second.
To be honest, I miss those days. People shouting "What?" if you look at them too long. I did say "What?" to a gawker one time recently, but was immediately worried about my bike, because he saw me park it...
Ah, uni memories... Now I remember an even funnier presentation by a Chinese girl. She worked at a famous Panda zoo, possibly Ya'an Bifengxia or Chengdu Zoo. This was more than a decade before I'd end up in Sichuan myself, so I'd almost forgotten about it.
Anyway, the girl recited her presentation in exacting rote style, long before I understood the concept. Excellent pronunciation, but in a nervous, hasty, monotone style, skipping pauses and word stress in a race to get it over with.
Her study was real though. She had been working with crocs or alligators at the zoo. She was proud to announce a breakthorugh in her work - she had successfully bred these animals in captivity! I was all serious, trying my best to understand English where she was mumbling words that should be stressed/emphasized.
But there was a problem in the girl's picture-perfect presentation: A typo. In big bold letters on her "mission accomplished" slide of her .ppt was the announcement: "SUCCESSFULLY BORED IN CAPTIVITY."
I completely lost it. I couldn't help myself. I got struck with the giggles, and I was sitting right next to a professor. These were *real* giggles, not look-at-me cutesy girl giggles. I tried my very best to hide it, but that probably made it just look worse. I was crying real tears, unable to contain the hilarity. The professor later told me he had to bite his tongue so as not to get infected with my giggles.
I had a mental picture in my head the whole time, of a cadre of Chinese scientists observing a crocodile in the water pen with serious scrutiny. The crocodile then lets out a heartfelt sigh of boredom. The professors jump high into the air, screaming with excitement. And afterwards there's the congratulation scene, where they're repeatedly shaking each other's hands, filled with pride and a sense of accomplishment: "Doctor." "Doctor." "Doctor." "Doctor."
I wanted to apologize after the girl finished her presentation, but I chickened out. I have no idea if she ever found out about her typo.
