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Q: What aspect of Chinese culture do you struggle with the most?
For me, China's gift-giving culture is something I'm having difficulty adjusting to. I've been gifted with expensive tea, silk and other items which I reluctantly accepted because I had no choice, but I know I'm expected to return the favor which I'm not in a financial position to do. I don't have the money to spend 1000 kuai on some fancy green tea or expensive cigarettes but at the same time I can't give people something that's obviously cheap. I'd much rather not receive any gifts and therefore not be expected to give any in return, than face this materialistic dilemma.
1. Face
2. Lack of privacy
3. Mindless gift giving (I agree with the op)
4. Anything medical
Face. It's simply all-pervasive and affects so many aspects and spheres of Chinese society. I like this place, I do, but when I consider its flaws, they can almost all in some way shape or form be linked back to 'face'.
The attitude toward victims of sexual abuse. I don't join this forum to verbally bash the Chinese, I prefer to exercise understanding of the things that I dislike and despite posting such questions as today's 'Tell Me Why?' (which was really one of amused bafflement), I am deeply fond of the Chinese; but I have no qualms whatsoever in saying that I find the attitude many Chinese hold towards victims of sexual abuse, which is that they are 'dirty', as utterly abhorent.
Hulk:
That attitude really pisses me off. There's so much sexual abuse in China, and it's almost never reported. It's really, really bad. Nobody ever talks about it...
Traveler:
I'm surprised some good little comrade hasn't chipped in claiming it is a cultural difference, and that you do not understand China.
Or perhaps everybody is in agreement that it is a major problem, but most say nothing.
1. Face
2. Dishonesty
3. Lack of respect for human life
Scandinavian:
actually the censorship/brainwashing is probably the most troubling of all. the way people blindly praise their country and discard any foreing ideas, it's comparable to e.g. scientologists or the like
I am aware that we are all influenced by the country/culture we come from.
Lack of respect for human life / in-laws. When they come in two, trouble's abrew...
i wrap all the gifts i get and regive them to some one else a year later , saves on the budget and most of the time what you get looks good because of packaging and is nothing really worth the money they paid for it.
Face. Always face. I've been here a while and try to be as accepting towards the cultural differences as possible but that one doesn't sit well with me. Agree with boomstick on that one. It's only healthy to be able to laugh at yourself and your flaws.
1. Lack of privacy: People are always in the know about my personal life. There are no secrets.
2. Lack of personal space: Population density related or they just prefer to huddle together instead of dispersing naturally? Not sure. I could use just a bit more room to operate....walking around, driving, dining out, gym, etc...basically any public place I would like to be able to stretch out both arms and not hit anyone.
The public space thing - I only experience that on public transport really. Day to business at home, in the office, in the gym, restaurants etc. I find it's not too bad. And that's Beijing!
At the risk of being called a racist by Hugh again, I'm going to say the concept of face, and in particular how needing to save face is often used as a cover for somebody simply being dishonest or bad at their job.
Traveler:
Exactly what I have found over the last 10 years. No culture should accept dishonesty and incompetence as cultural traits; they are flaws within society that need to be addressed, not justified.
mattsm84:
And what's worse is when you take that way of thinking to its logical conclusion you make it seem as if groups of people are simply incapable of acting honestly in certain situations. Then you start to developed a whole second set of standards to excuse this type of behavior. It's just incredibly paternalist, and if it were ever applied to me I'd be insulted by it.
Hugh.G.Rection:
Why would I call you racist for giving your opinion, especially as you said "is often used as cover..."? (my bold).
Also I largely agree with you, my only qualifier is in Nanning I have come across almost no issues related to face so I have very little personal experience of it.
mattsm84:
I'm sorry, somebody once told me that I should adapt to Chinese standards of behavior while living in their country. And that being resistant to doing so made me a racist. If that wasn't you then I'm sorry.
Hugh.G.Rection:
No matt go and and read the thread again, YOU first called ME a racist, I was just responding to that point. Now if you want to go over that all over again, fine, but open a new thread, be a good boy.
mattsm84:
Okay, so it was you. Come on, old man. Have some courage in your convictions and tell these people what frothing racists you believe them to be.
(btw, I still think saying, "oh they're chinese, what else can you expect from them" is a pretty racist thing to say about them.)
Hugh.G.Rection:
Ah well Matty boy, at least you've admitted you first made the racism accusation, one victory at a time I suppose. Now as I said, if you want to re-open the debate about morality open up another thread, oh and before doing so, go back and re-read the exchange between Shining Brow and myself so that you may learn how to conduct a civilised debate without recourse to childish insults.
adminanswer:
Woah....easy there guys.
Neither one of you is a racist. We're all friends here. Let's all chill, eh?
to me there are 3 issues I hate:
-the Culture of being rude, selfish and dirty.
-Spitting in the streets and everywhere, anytime for the sake of their own health at the expense of the getting others sick. That is a selfish behavior, as each one thinks for himself and doesn't want to even imagine that spitting in public places it's just dangerous for anybody's health.
- The "save face" dirty and immoral Culture. When I say immoral it means it's also dirty.
No offenses nonetheless. I spoke to some people and they admit this is not good but it won't change, ever.
So, my solution is to be the same like them. Learn to spit, learn to save face and be rude so I can get along with all these and be at peace with myself and people around me.
For me it would be corruption. And I don't just mean in politics or the government. I feel like almost every business owner is corrupt in China.
I've recently had bad experiences with this and it just shocks me that I have to pay someone extra just to FOLLOW THE LAW and DO THEIR JOB!! I felt really helpless and I talked to my boss and all she said is...."this is China."
So it just bothers me that everyone sees how corrupt everything is but no one tries to change it because "this is how china is" or "this is how we do things in China."
