By continuing you agree to eChinacities's Privacy Policy .
Sign up with Google
Sign up with Facebook
Q: What is the best back-story you've heard in China?
Most of us have some experience in China with some fantastical backstories.
I have just come across one of the best I have heard, and I have heard some good ones.
A Canadian guy (late twenties) recently walked into our company looking for some part time teaching hours. He looked a little feral but we gave him a shot and he was ok.
After a couple of weeks, students began to give feedback. This is where the fun begins.
Students have told me the following:
1. He holds a double doctorate in applied physics. One from Stanford, MIT or Harvard (stories conflict) and one from Hong Kong Uni.
2. Served in the middle east but quit the army after an incursion where he was the only survivor
3. Sadly, has only been into space once (once? pussy)
4. Was a test pilot (Canada has an airforce? With aircraft that require testing??)
5. Regularly travels to Switzerland to conduct research in physics (C.E.R.N.??)
6. Had to cancel classes to go to HK this weekend to head a physics symposium for Berkley graduates
7. English corners have consisted of The Three T's and some random islands around China
This all sounds totally plausible to me. Teaching English part time in a 3rd tier city is the usual career path for someone with such qualifications.
So, my question is: what amazing back-stories have you heard whilst you have been in China?
I will share others if this thread gets off the ground...take it away and entertain me please
When I was young, I played computer games in non-ergonomical chairs, slouched over couches and beds. It did a number on my lower back, and I often have back pains as a result.
Having 2 young boys, I am forced to improve my posture, so a lot of the most serious pains are history. Family life has been good for this aspect of my health. But the discomfort remains, and it makes me grumpy when I have to get up and do stuff.
Is it the best back-story? So far, it's the only back-story, so I win by default!
Chhris:
Wow, if you have such severe problems at only age 40 you will die of pain by the time you become 60.
Do lower and upper back yoga every day, go for a run 3 times a week and try to sit as little as possible during the day. Teaching is good for this, you can teach your classes while you are standing.
Also be conscious of your posture while you are standing, always try to stand with a straight posture.
An ESL teacher in Heilongjiang told everybody (co-foreign teachers, students and other Chinese) that his occupation before arriving to teach was a bodyguard for the rich and famous in Hollywood. Of course, the natural progression after moving from such a position is English teaching in a Chinese university for 5000 rmb per month.
In order to give his story some credibility, he claimed that he came to China to learn martial arts. OK, Heilongjiang is not too close to Shaolin or any place that you would normally associate with kung fu, but he didn't really care about that.
To top the story off, Mr Macho came down with a cold which nearly turned to pneumonia and a lengthy stay in hospitable. This was september mind, before it gets really cold in that part of the world!
When I was young, I played computer games in non-ergonomical chairs, slouched over couches and beds. It did a number on my lower back, and I often have back pains as a result.
Having 2 young boys, I am forced to improve my posture, so a lot of the most serious pains are history. Family life has been good for this aspect of my health. But the discomfort remains, and it makes me grumpy when I have to get up and do stuff.
Is it the best back-story? So far, it's the only back-story, so I win by default!
Chhris:
Wow, if you have such severe problems at only age 40 you will die of pain by the time you become 60.
Do lower and upper back yoga every day, go for a run 3 times a week and try to sit as little as possible during the day. Teaching is good for this, you can teach your classes while you are standing.
Also be conscious of your posture while you are standing, always try to stand with a straight posture.
I could use no. 5, because I have Swiss watch .....
. My students all know, school's time sucks.
I'll tell you one of mines:
My HK$180 Nokia brick is dubbed 'I-phone 7' among students here.
Once, I told them a story, that this is the newest I-phone, which I received 'yesterday' straight out of the Cupertino....
At the description of the 'latest I-phone', students learned term 'virtual screen' ......
... and then they slowly got it ......
We had some 15' talk about 'I-phone' in red .
My god. I am wondering if we have the same co-worker. Our guy is Australian though.
1. He can't go to certain countries because he is a high-priority military target. Because he was a sniper.
2. Frequently ad-libs* stories about shootouts he somehow got involved in (after happening across gun-wielding criminals in public). These scenarios always result in commendations and much back patting from the police or important political figures who happened to be there. The stories usually take place in Australia - you know - the urban warfare capital of the world. I also grew up on the mean streets of Australia. It was much like Mad Max: Fury Road, but real, you guys.
*: In one story (about beating up a criminal and being thanked by the police) the setting changed from Australia to China mid-story without him noticing. Then at the end he looked a bit confused and said the chief of police could speak perfect English. To make it plausible.
3. Keeps telling me about being offered corporate legal work in Hong Kong, and various other extremely high-paying jobs. Like your guy, I wonder why he is working for peanuts in China.
4. Talks about guns. All the goddamn time. I don't think we have had a conversation where he didn't randomly connect something I said to M15s or some other bullshit. When talking to female students he also can't help diverting the conversation (suddenly and inexplicably) to guns. One thing I have found to be true of all girls is that they are precisely as interested in guns as I am.
5. Keeps talking about how he will be recalled for duty when things hot up with China, because he is involved in Australia's high-level military operations.
But your guy wins because he's a scientist and has been into space. WHAT.
Samsara:
Oh, and...
6. Claims he can speak eight languages, up from five a year ago (maybe he's been studying).
Briefly I worked with a elderly African American man who claimed to be best friend with Obama, and said that president Nixon had given him a...
moon rock.
But it was in his house in America. One of his houses. He was rich. He used to be a lawyer. But now he had a business. In China.
I also like the 'guanxi" stories - the foreigners that love to boast about their connections in China. There's always one that doesn't realize that when he's invited to the big official banquet, the Chinese are using him as a foreign ornament to keep other guests amused.
iWolf:
The officials should at least have the decency to provide a unicycle and juggling balls.
jetfire9000:
This is the one I was thinking about... Yeah everybody is "connected" here somewhere.. Dig on the forums a bit here and you can find a lot of them. Everyone wants to be a token so they can feel important :D
O.K. Mr Samsara, I'll see your bogan sniper (Crikey buggalugs there's a shit-load of Aussies on this board) and raise you a true legend.
Here's another entirely plausible back-story I have personally heard:
Prior to coming to china was the UN appointed laison between pakistan and chinese military about border issues.
Performed some covert OPs for CIA in pakistan/afghanistan/lebanon
Personal friends with Pakistan PM - Ahhmydinnerjacket and Syria's Pres Asshat (God knows why you would admit that) and produced a photo as proof that looked nothing like him. (BTW I am the mirror image of brad pitt in every photo)
Let Ron Paul use a floor of the building he owns near Central Park for his (failed) presidential run
Ancestor of Zheng He the famous maritime explorer and eunuch (makes descendents difficult)
A distant relative of The Queen of England
Does QC for the factory in Dongguan that manufactures Black Ops equipment for the US government - due to top level CIA connections
Frequently meets and is friends with with top PLA echelon to advise and negotiate.
Was offered an officer's position in the PLA. He declined.
Carries non-disclosure agreements with him in case you ask any questions that require clearance for answers.
At the time, naturally, was working as an ESL teacher in a 3rd tier city training mill.
I could go on, but you get the idea
iWolf:
Oops...forgive me. I'm an English teacher.....descendent of Zheng He
I have the weirdest one,,,, because it is True. 100%.... hard for me to explain, but I will try. but easy for u to see what I'm talking about for any of you who have been here awhile.
I told this chinese guy, he was the Director of the English Department at a HS, 3rd tier city, so you would think not a total idiot right? I told him how I had been in contact with Xi , or that I was trying to contact Xi, or something to that effect, I don't really remember which because i was just kinda BS rambling to a guy that I knew understood about 1/2 of what I said anyway. But I said sth to the effect that I was in touch with Xi and we were working on an idea to get people to stop posting sticky flyers on the sidewalks and other public places. Well, the next day, this moron (I'm being nice) came up to me and told me how I should not be bothering Xi with this because he was a very important, busy man. 
I was so WTF,, damn, this guy is as dumb as fkn Peter Sellers,,, but in Real Life !!
*I don't know if this constitutes a back story, I just know it was (is) a story I had to tell. still fukn trips me out.
iWolf:
You bastard.
You probably kept him up half the night stressing about this and he almost broke the internet wechatting his mates for advice.
diverdude1:
yeah, that is what really made this sooooo remarkable! u had to be there to see the earnestness, look of concern on this guy's face! he fkn really thought he was stopping me from doing sth and he was saving Xi and china,,, or sth like that. I mean he was into it! I was like gotdamn! u r one dumb sunnabitch
expatlife26:
i like the idea that he thinks that xi cares so much about the people and their sidewalks that he didn't have the heart to tell you he had other things to do.
Imagine if he was really like that, just constantly getting side tracked with minor problems.
Instead of holding a meeting about the economy, he spent all day trying to help someone get gum out of their hair.
I can't compete with the above. None of them.
Mine is mild. The wife is involved in a Chinese women married to foreign men group. A part of this is that Chinese women with mixed kids, after divorce, seek a new western partner. All the wifes sort of get together in a coven, go through the proposal emails, and help select the future spouse.
She showed me an email once.... " I am a navy seal, on assignment in Afghanistan....."
I laughed, said no way, found websites about Seal imposters, and sent them on. They refused my advice. They chose the seal.
They got married in the end. I went to the party to celebrate her departure to his homeland. Holland ! The guy was cool. I have no idea how he went from a serving US navy seal to a middle aged Dutch guy. But he done it.
iWolf:
Ha ha ha....at least it turned out well in the end. Perhaps he's undercover counter-terrorism agent
coineineagh:
I wonder if ability to maintain a plausible bullshit story is valued as an innate trait, sort of like confidence. I know Chinese see honesty as a major weakness, even a sign of stupidity. Perhaps lying through your teeth gets classified as desirable. "This man is lying to my face. He must be clever and powerful if he thinks he can pull it off."
ScotsAlan:
Interesting point Coin.
I mentioned to the wife recently that a woman had been promoted at work and that we all know she is sh**ging her boss.
"Very clever, very smart", my wife said. Wait Mrs Scots..I said... what if I promoted a woman working for me?"
Her: " You... be in charge of people !!.. don"t make me laugh"
I retired to the bar.
What is it with these losers pretending they're special forces ?
I knew a couple of guys in Harbin who worked with an Aussie guy and I met him one night. He said he was ex military with 'training'who did "government work"and worked undercover for the police sometimes.
After he went home and we stayed in the restaurant they told me he was also a drug smuggler, a mercenary, had millions in the bank, was fluent in several languages but would never speak them, couldn't go back to several countries because of his previous 'jobs' there, had all sorts of OO7 types as friends and all sorts of other bullshit but he could never keep his stories straight and would get drunk and contradict himself. 
mArtiAn:
I don't get it either, and I 'am' special forces; 157 confirmed kills. Licence to kill, my body is a deadly weapon and I play by my own rules. But right now I'm all about teaching these kids. That's my life now. You see, when you've been there.....in the real shit with all the blood and guts.....and you've stared death in the face...and blown its head off. I mean clean off. And then fucked it right in the skull-cave.....you want to forget that shit. And teach English. To little kids.
Spiderboenz:
Mock all you want, but a surprisingly large amount of former military go the teacher route once they get out. It is considerably less stressful, and slightly more emotionally rewarding to influence people through education than through violence. Books or bullets? I would pick books 2/3 of the time.
Stiggs:
Yep, I've met a lot of guys here who are ex military. The difference between them and the idiot I met was that I'm sure they actually were in the military, and they weren't claiming to be something they weren't.
mArtiAn:
As it happens I did have a good friend who was in the marines and a martial arts instructor who now teaches English here.
iWolf, nobody wants to hear about some pussy that only had the balls to go to space once. No wonder he's wandering around shiftlessly.
Top this:
- My role as a Confidential Informant for the FBI on the American Financial Group $43 million swindle of Canadians and how the U.S. Justice Department knowingly allowed the swindle to continue for 4 years even after I provided all the proof to the FBI. See: https://americanfinancialgroupfraud.wordpress.com/
- About my 25-year history as a whistle-blower involving 12 government and 3 corporate crimes including the HIV tainted blood of the Red Cross, and the IRS Hit List that caused my IRS partner Liston Smith to be murdered in 1984
- The corrupt FBI Agent who operated a billion dollar drug smuggling ring in Canada for years and who was allowed to jump bail with no effort to extradite him. He was caught red-handed in 1997 in Regina by the mounties,6 and his name is Terry Nelson. Google him for the details. https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/SomeUnknownUSHistory/conversations/t...
- About my role in introducing people off-shore who secretly sold Enron shares to government officials.
- How I was tortured for 3 months in U.S. custody and was threatened "to get more of the same" when I was sent back to America if I did not "cooperate". Details are here: https://afewthoughtsfrombruce.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/american-citizens...
- How people tried to kill me four times including the event witness Erling Ingvaldsen testified about and another described in the affidavit of Toronto detective Abraham Chris Bailey.
- I was going to play some audio and video recordings in the court room of both honest and corrupt FBI agents to prove I was telling the truth.
- I was going to show the note left on pour family car threatening the lives of my family if I did not shut up. (One of two documents "misplaced" by Gilmour.)
- I was going to show the court the hand-written letter from Canadian John Pierre Gonyou that exonerated me and confirmed the off-shore Enron deal for a former Vice-President. https://norealmystery.wordpress.com/category/fbi-agent-terry-nelson/
- I was going to testify about the $1.25 million in cash I was asked to deliver to "JB" and Katherine Harris by American Financial Group in 1996, and the time I delivered cash and documents on behalf of AFG client General Manuel Noriega, and what I took to his lawyer's office (Frank Rubino) when I worked two years for American Financial Group as an executive.
- I was also supposed to testify how three efforts were made to buy my silence for $100,000 a month by a certain FBI agent.
- I was also going to talk about how I met murder victim Al Chalem and what he begged me to do about 7-10 before he was found with a few bullets in his head.
- I was supposed to testify about the four agents and Russian mobster who came to visit me in Canada and what each said to me and asked me to do.
- I was coached by Gilmour how to explain and describe the two times federal agents stole my book manuscripts at gun-point without a warrant in front of quite a few witnesses.
This, of course, was authored by the "leader" of the "CFTU".
Check out these links for more insanity: http://www.opnlttr.com/letter/open-letter-honest-dragon-slayer-lawyers-c...
http://www.opnlttr.com/letter/open-letter-american-canadian-voters-rescu...
http://www.opnlttr.com/letter/open-letter-canadas-prime-minister-harper-...
http://www.opnlttr.com/letter/open-letter-queen-elizabeth-about-canada-p...
http://www.opnlttr.com/letter/open-letter-canadian-citizens-both-bruce-g...
http://www.opnlttr.com/letter/open-letter-anonymous-plea-help-related-br...
Wow! Ex-FBI informant, Fortune 500 exec, forced into exile in China, family subject to gov't assassins, all this and can manage scamwatch, the CFTU...troller extraordinaire on Dave's ESL Cafe, formerly this forum and now new to Reddit (8000000000 foreign teachers to be deported, three to be executed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
expatlife26:
Well that guy is seriously pathological.
I bet he thinks he's had it so rough that all the shitty things he does are justified.
He's the "real victim"
I ran into some nutters during my stay in China.
But the weirdest was this guy from Australia.
Huge guy... like 6 foot 10 and 350 pounds... just a giant guy. He was nice and kind for the most part but he was insane.
He would tell anyone who listened about how he got chased out of Australia by the "Lesbian Police" because he accidentally slept with a lesbian woman. If he returned to Australia he would be arrested and thrown in jail on the spot.
He was very clever though, good with computers but one of those conspiracy nuts that thought everyone was out to get him... including the "Lesbian Police". He would give English corners on how if you were ever trapped in a place and you couldn't get out... you should drink your own piss (yes an English corner with children and adults and nobody stopped him) and chew your arm off if you needed.
He mentioned how women ninjas were stalking him constantly trying to put poison in his baijiu (you mean baijiu isn't poison?). He was a totally functional guy and harmless... just a wacko.
He got fired when all the other ESL teachers complained and vowed to return to S. Korea where he was for three years and somehow couldn't detect that he was a spook. And he did.
diverdude1:
the ol' chew your arm off schtick... he's just lucky them Lesbian Coppers didn't chew something else off!
You know why they're all spies/military heroes/special forces?
Because in the age of smartphones they can't be former members of famous bands, actors/actresses, or pro athletes.
"I was the original bass player of Alice in Chains"
"really? no shit! that's awesome let me look you up!"
"I was in movies back in the early 90s, used to bang Elizabeth Hurley, wasn't a big deal tho that bitch got around."
"Wow! let me check your IMDB page!"
With better flow of information, times have gotten rough for liars. Huge bands have tons of fan sites and info out there. IMDB has pretty much every legit SAG credit. Former pro baseball player? Well how come nothing on baseball-reference.com?
What's left for dumbasses to lie about is military stuff/spycraft because it's impressive but not readily available. I mean you can file a request to get service records but that takes time and it won't just be on a 77th Infantry Division fan site with the stats of every soldier. "Wow! You had 9 insurgent kills on 40% shooting in 2004!"
Times are getting tougher for liars, it's sad to see really.
iWolf:
I did have a look at the list of all people who have been in space.
Guess what?? "The webpage is wrong. It doesn't include specialists on classified missions."
expatlife26:
hahaha figures there would be a list like that too.
Weird that somebody so young would feel they could pull off these outrageous lies, given they grew up with the internet too.
For a lot of people who are big liars though I think in their own minds the line between truth and a lie is really blurry. Like so long as people aren't calling them liars, than the story is as good as true.
It's why sometimes those people will totally rage out when confronted, because in their own minds they believe truth is what people convinced of so by calling them out you are the one who is making their truth a lie.
We also had an Aussie (seems to be a trend) here who has since returned to a life on the dole and reinvented himself as a "singer/songwriter". He knows BOTH guitar chords. And is a prolific facebook blogger about climate change. I-did-not-know that arctic icecaps were melting faster due to icebreakers...get two glasses of water, put an ice block in one and crushed ice in the other. This is proof!!
This one was the town planner for a major city and private pilot for various well known politicians and general legend before coming to china. Graduated Suma Cum Laude from a university that doesn't appear in any google search and is one of the top scoring members of MENSA. No military or spy activity was mentioned but was close friends with the Sex Pistols despite having never been to England.
Whilst being a guitar toting classroom rockstar and being fired (under questionable circumstances from at least 5 schools that I know of) he became a webmaster and moderated with an iron fist. Essentially it was a shameless self-promotion website. EVERY comment was/is harmonised or edited by him prior to appearing on the site. Eventually he became the town punching bag and self proclaimed unrecognised genius.
expatlife26:
Not surprised either to hear somebody like that has employment problems. The only stupid backstory person I knew well also couldn't hold a job.
it was this american woman i knew 3-4 yrs ago...late 30s and obviously very smart, charismatic, attractive etc. She was friends with other people I knew so I would see her at get-togethers. She mustve gone through 5-6 jobs in a year. GOOD jobs too. Like marketing director at decent sized trading companies, program directors at schools. Seemed like she could get hired for anything (i'm guessing by making up corporate backstories) and then would get let go in a month.
I finally met somebody who worked the same place and said that she showed up on the first day and aggressively tried to redefine her job description as being every interesting function in the company and nothing boring or tedious. Like an older sister at dinner trying to trade you broccoli for ice cream. She was incredibly toxic to work trying to pawn off stuff on others and was let go within a month.
My guess is these people that feel the need to make things up about themselves have very little self awareness. The guy who thinks people would believe he's an astronaut/spy doesn't understand how they come off to others and thus can't fit in well at jobs.
Hotwater:
"Essentially it was a shameless self-promotion website."
Have you checked it out lately? Apart from tumbleweed it seems to be a persoanl blog for some wannebee fashion designer/outlet store!
expatlife26:
Are you guys talking about that craig hill guy who used to post here? I remember people accusing him of running a shameless self promotion website.
He was a little before my time here though
iWolf:
It wasn't craig hill but he did go toe to toe with him when craig posted that he was a wumao shill.....ahhh, good times. Mr Hotwater, i just had a look at your suggestion. Tumbleweeds? Ha! He'd be praying for tumbleweeds to liven it up. Not one comment on any blogs or forum topic and the last activity, by him, over a week ago. Funnily, i had dinner with a guy on the weekend who said The Webmaster has been harassing him to become a sponsor for the bargain price of 5000rambos per month (due to the alleged vast hit rate)
iWolf:
@expatlife Was her name Anna? Sounds like an American fempat that was schlepping around here a few years ago. Like most American girls who don't fit the California Dream appearance, she was 1/4.5th (insert tribe name) American Indian. She also went through a dozen decent jobs in a relatively short time. More on her when i do some "fact" checking
expatlife26:
Nah...it wasn't anna.
The experience stuck with me because it was really interesting getting to see the story from both sides.
Hear this woman talk about being set up to fail, companies are all shady just wanted to steal her ideas etc.
Then get to hear the other side of "yeah she didn't want to do her job."
It was a few years ago, was a good learning experience for me about how badly you can sabotage yourself by not having self awareness of how other people see you.
I'm sure in her mind she wasn't doing anything wrong but to others it's like "wtf why is this awful, lazy person making extra work for me?"
A quick update on the person mentioned in the OP. All details about him come straight from the horse's mouth with no embellishment - I shit you not!
He is also a MMA champion.
Apparently, he used his "sick skills" when he noticed that one of the neighbourhood kids had been beaten up by his father. Anyway, he went around to their house where the father had a dozen of his mates over and proceeded to give him a dressing down.
Things went from bad to worse when the father, fool that he is, threatened to punch him. Well, that was it. Like a Canuck Chuck Norris he "destroyed" the dozen in a few seconds.
The police rolled up moments later, obviously hearing the commotion of breaking bones and blood splatters whilst on their regular patrol, and proceeded to thank him for solving this issue so efficiently.
I asked:
"How did you give the father a dressing down, does he speak english?"
"No, I'm fluent in ke jia hua and I humiliated him in front of his friends"
"So you can't speak any chinese but are fluent in the language spoken by Hakka people?"
"Correct"
"Have you ever been to Fujian?"
"No, I learned it when I did a semester teaching in Guizhou"
"Hmm, Ok. That's plausible"
Oh, and CERN need him back before summer for some experiments they are performing on Gravitational Waves - they can't proceed without his calculations, so he's not sure if he can do the morning reading at summer camp this year.
Hotwater:
Has my bald mate with the tattoos met him yet? He'd take the piss out of the guy mercilessly to his face if he heard these bullshit stories!
iWolf:
I've never talked to him about the ACTUAL details of his life. He only talks about his glamorous back story each time i see him.
His real name is the same as a French city that is famous for being romantic, so give that hairless gentleman the heads up to be on the look out. He's a classic and will have to circle the FB drain at some point.
Update:
A new Canadian joined up recently. He is a Canadian badminton star and a staple in international tournaments but looked almost homeless.
After 2 weeks was fired. The story (I wasn't privvy to the actual facts) is that in these two weeks hosted an English Corner about doing drugs and segued into him wanting to fight for China in a contentious sea to the south. Apparently, he approached several people about hooking him up with various substances. Complaints were made.
Management was not too happy until further complaints were made about him sending lewd selfies to some youngsters.
He was reportedly last seen this week begging for money outside Burger King.
expatlife26:
haha that's funny. Sad though. I liked this thread I'll post any silly shit I hear too.
I usually won't call people out on obvious major lies because I worry the people that feel they need to say that can be unstable.
Like the person who needs to say they were a CEO but gave it all up might completely rage out if confronted. People who feel so ashamed they need to fabricate ludicrous backstories don't need our help to make fools of themselves.
iWolf:
I too get a giggle from this shit. I usually encourage them to play out their fantasies to the extreme.
Just thought I'd bring this back for a little light humor in the mists of current events.
After all it is Troll season amd all
iWolf:
Are you thinking the globetrotting civilian contractor/national guard with one pillow might earn a spot on this esteemed list? Give it time mate, the backstory will get better.
Hotwater:
I'm happy you bumped this one...enjoyed reading those stories again. One change though is that mine & Wolfie's favorite website seems to have gone down the pan like it's the owner...
iWolf:
Did you see the dodgy car sales commercials on FB? One of my mates sent me wechat 10 second videos of them. Hilarious
China is a bullsh*tter's paradise. It's not that anyone believes the bullsh*t..they just accept it as their way and take what they can from it..but bullsh*t gives so little.
Update: the CERN physicist/astronaut was spotted in our tier 3 city without the aid of a telescope.....he'd been teaching at a private kindergarten but had to break contract due to needing to go to Geneva to provide some vital calculations for the LHC upgrade that the onsight geniuses couldn't manage themselves.
Fortunately, for Chinese early childhood education it appears he has built a clone to fight the good fight when he is needed elsewhere. Anyway, his clone turned up at another kindy looking for a job the day after. My mate owns this one and knew all about this clown but gave him a summer camp job mainly for the comedy and intends to get him in some lame costume dancing for the kiddies and handing out flyers in the mall. I'm looking forward to "bumping into him" whilst he's dressed i
as a pink unicorn at the mall.
In a tier 3 city, all the foreigners know who everyone is
Billy BS was a guy I knew in Shijiazhuang. Claimed to have a double Doctorate, was a Professor of some Puerto Rican Uni (maybe thought we couldn't check) had served in the Army (US) but did not know even the basics when pressed (I am ex- Royal Navy but could still grill on non nation specific stuff). He also claimed to be vegan, was caught eating stuff he shouldn't. And, when he said he was fasting for some unknown reason, was caught in the local market with a big bag of food. Wanker
Another Aussie that was there (what is it with you lot in China?) was always regaling us with stories of his 'gangster' days. All sounded like shite. Was forever trying to convince us he had business's that were just starting up. The only one he had was a very small, rented garage type thing that he tried to make into a cafe. It got shut down in two weeks 'cos he had not actually done any of the paperwork he needed to.
Then there was the British lad who would bs about women he had/was shagging and the scams he was trying to pull while in China.
These were all a few years ago when there were very few expats in that city and we all knew each other.
Yep, bser's paradise.
met a South African who claimed he had been both a diplomat with a jet-setting career and had worked in the diamond industry.
he had a very short fuse when drunk (which seemed to be every time i encountered him) - and dressed like a beach-bum all the time.
