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Q: What chinese women need to understand...
There seems to be this idea that a 'real' boyfriend (or potential bf) will pay for EVERYTHING that the girls wants, in order to win her 'heart' (affections, whatever).
Thus the 'rich' guy needs to shower his girl(
with all sorts of lavish gifts and stuff, to keep her as a trophy on his arm - and the girl EXPECTS to be paid for (in both connotations!)
Part of this is because of the disparity in the numbers of boys to girls in this country - far more females than males, so they play upon this fact... to their advantage.
What those girls seem to have forgotten, though, is the ratio to RICH guys to girls is significantly different. And, the ration of RICH WESTERN guys to girls is much much less as well.
So, why oh why haven't the girls here realised that if they want a rich western guy, THEY need to put in the effort to get us?? And NOT expect us to give THEM all the gifts and presents!
If anything, the girls here should be buying the guys they want all those gifts! After all, as we say, there's plenty more fish in the sea! (many many more 'cute chinese girl' fish than 'rich guy' fish!)
(no, it's not just in China, or is it really rich guy and not-so-rich girl... just numerically speaking, and here in this country that this forum is dedicated to....)
(btw, girls - I'd suggest waiting to see the guys reply to this before putting up your responses... )
12 years 26 weeks ago in Relationships - China
because women rule and we drool
and aren't there more men than women in China,,'i dunno' as i did try to count them.
Shining_brow:
A) no - but there are many many more BOYS than women... not so many men :p B) And girls and women vastly outnumber RICH men and boys!
Traveler:
Good point. The boys in China don't really know how to satisfy a woman's physical and emotional needs. And even poor foreign teachers are richer than most Chinese males. That means the desirable males are far fewer than the wanting females. Yet the women seemed determined to drive those males away with their unreasonable demands.
It's not about supply and demand and how the "value" of a pretty girl cost the guy lots of gifts.
They expect gifts because men have culturly trained them to. Men shower them with gifts and carry their purses because the men use it to feel important and to stroke their egos. It's like how children back home expect Santa to bring them presents. Or how if I order a Happy Meal, between my past experiences and from other's experiences, I expect to get a toy.
there are more boys than girls as well as there are more men than women until age 60, then there are more women than men. Your argument is invalid.
And the "western" notion is of absolutely no importance in their quest, the only one that counts is the "rich" notion.
You were a virgin before coming to China, weren't you?
Shining_brow:
I'd just like to make you aware that your comment means that you believe that men can only BUY a woman, that they are chattel that can be bought and paid for (and paid for again, and paid for again....), and you can get outbid by someone else who buys her more gifts with a bigger wallet. Your comment (and those who thumbs-upped it) don't truly believe that you are capable of getting a girl whom you can call an 'equal', and have a real equal relationship with. In short, you are suggesting that you don't actually think you're good enough - you are too ugly, too uninteresting, too dull or useless in bed - for a girl to want to go out with you, and it's only the size of your wallet - and what you spend on them - that has any interest for them! That's really really sad! For ALL of you.... (Btw, logically, I'd be a virgin IN China - not BEFORE I came to China... but, I guess logic and thinking are a little advanced for you....) (And, FTR, no. All my gf's and friends with benefits I was with included sex, and was somewhat equal when it came to financial matters! Even with my millionaire ex-fiance).
Look, in the past, women were less than men. Now the culture has bred them to think that every child is like a prince or princess, so what do you expect? Add to that the fact that in the next decade or so, there will be a lot more men than women, and this effect is magnified. The way I see it, here's a great chance for women to climb the social/economical ladder by finding a better guy than they might have been able to get in the past. Why are you so mad? If you're not willing to pay for a Chinese woman, then why are you trying to date one? Go after a Chinese girl who doesn't care about being rich, a normal one that don't dress up every day. Not all Chinese women are gold diggers, ok? Just like in the West, the pretty ones usually expect more from their boyfriend.
And no, girls don't have to buy guys gifts. If they did, they'd already be doing so. If you don't pay, there's always some other guy who's willing. If anything, girls' demands will go up with time, so you better find one fast.
nevermind:
What? Women in many parts of China are treated like crap still.
SERIOUSLY CHINESE GIRLS LISTEN UP
YOU OWE IT TO THIS GUY SRSLY
The expectation that men will take care of everything is also reinforced by culture. Every romance movie and dating show that airs in China, and all over the world, reinforces this thought process.
I should tell you some truth that i find.
If a gf can pay everything by herself, if she wants AA, for example, when you go out for a vacation together, guys, chinese or western, they feel insecure.
Basically, i will tell him, i don't mind to pay. But, he pays most of the times.
But a golden rule, never ask for expensive/cheap gift, he will give you if he wants to.
Shining_brow:
Obviously, it depends on the guy... I like a strong (emotionally), intelligent, independent, mature woman - you know, all the stuff that most guys are scared of... :-p If I choose to be in a relationship, I will see us as equal partners in that relationship. Sure, it will probably mean I will be single for a good while longer, but I'm damn sure I'm happier not having to tip-toe around 'crap' to maintain my happiness...
xerxes:
like it what you just mentioned , if the guy wants it he is willing to give a gift, with all his intention, care and love so that what matters the most, material comes the second infront of a living human being whose every step and though is for the betterment for his lover, a wife or children........... i like the sentence in your comment ......... ice-anna
ice_anna:
hi, xerxes, i think most of the chinese mothers will tell their young, don't ask for gifts from the others, don't accept gifts from strangers. But it's ture, most of the girls forget this devise when they grow up. I always give back a gift to him after receiving several gifts from him. It could be clothes he wants but have no time to buy, or what i find interesting during my biz trip,or some man skin care. I will buy a gift expensive if it's an important date for him. I find, this will make man feel happy. Men are also willing to receive gifts
