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Q: What creepy expats have you come across in China?
Was in the plane on my way here, and there was a 50 something year old guy in front of me. Next to him was a Chinese girl. The two started chatting during the flight and I overheard their conversation. The guy explained he'd met a woman on a dating site and that he was coming to see her.
As the girl, obviously very interested (while I was increasingly feeling nauseous), kept asking more questions, the guy became increasingly suspicious and eventually stopped talking, but not before revealing he'd done this several times, been disappointed with some of the past girls, but couldn't resist their charm.
Maybe I'm being judgmental, and I've no problems with dating websites, but I couldn't help feeling absolutely grossed out by this guy. How creepy can you get? I swear he was talking about these women like he was going to the supermarket.
How was this "creepy"? Sexist, yes. Insensitive, definitely, but not creepy. For me creepy would be the adult man over 30 hanging out near the local high school looking for a girlfriend, or following girls around so he can leer at them, or taking photos of them secretly.
This guy just sounds like a very lonely man who for whatever reason has failed in love and is now using the internet to try to find it. If he had tried to hook up with this girl while on his way to meet someone, then I would probably agree with you.
What's worse, the fact that he is coming to find the women or the fact that the women are using him to exit China? That being said, if they are using him to exit China, shouldn't he be able to be a bit picker considering once they become residents or finally get citizenship or a green card, they're going to leave him anyway, so I would suggest to make the best of the two years.
I have met in person some of those fellows doing the surfing of dating sites. While some are genuine in their effort to find a soul mate, some others are just having fun and not serious at all. I do know a fellow back home who comes to China twice per year, one time for 3 weeks, second time for 5 weeks, using his vacation and sick leave for this purpose.
He does correspond year around for Chinese Ladies seeking foreign husbands, and lines them up for a 2 to 3 day visit, sometimes more than one in same city. He only wants the Ladies to spend the night with him at his hotel, and have sex, next day he moves to another hotel or changes cities. This has been going on for more than 4 yeas now, and when I met him I told him he was doing something real bad in my eyes. He claims to be having fun only.
He will come back again this summer, already has ladies lined up in Beijing, Guangzhou and Hong Kong. I would not be surprised to hear that he will be severely beaten one day.
But because of persons like him, we foreigners do get a reputation as sex maniacs here in China. Just too bad !.
GuilinRaf:
Exactly! THIS is definitely a creep!
I really do not like these kinds of guys because they are preying on the girls loneliness and desire to marry. This is especially bad and hurtful for the so called "leftover women" who are desperate for marriage and feel that no one wants them. The creeps get their jollies and the girls get heartbroken. And heart-break Sucks!!!!!!!
To be honest, this sounds more sad than creepy, from what you've said above. I guess the general tone/ presentation of the guy could explain your stomach turning, though.
Is he creepy if he goes to China to meet a woman the same age? or are you assuming he s going to meet someone half his age - and if he does who the hell cares fair plat to him.
Strange he chooses China to do this.
He could just take the easy option and go to Thailand.
From his comments, he tried this before in Russia, Ukraine and nearby countries with some outfit that organized tours to meet Ladies. First night there they will have a banquet hall and have a bunch of local Ladies to come and meet foreigners, and from then on it was up to you.
Once he did this for a while, he became interested in Chinese Ladies, and started coming to China on his own, with his variation of the same idea. For him, it is like being a Playboy for a few weeks a year. For me, it is despicable, and one day he will pay for it.
And he seeks ladies between 30 and 40, he is maybe 57 years of age.
GuilinRaf:
This is especially sad, because the women between 30 and 40 really want to marry and many (if not most) Chinese men are not interested in them. They believe this is their last ditch effort at finding someone and starting a family. All this does is raise their hopes only to be dashed.
GuilinRaf:
He should be locked in a room with all the women he cheated for a whole day. Let human nature (the the "Wrath of a Woman Wronged") run its course...
philbravery:
< but he's not a playboy but becoming a predator and that is Creepy. and I agrree with you as it is dispicable
I have met guys who are openly enticing girls to stay with them for awhile like in Thailand and then cast them aside when finished
But to trick and deceive some genuine person male or female looking for their special someone so as to just get their rocks off is a despicable act
thedude:
This guy is a pig...if he just wants to screw girls why doesn't he just get call girls instead...at least they don't have hopes for more.
lmao i married a chinese woman and met her in california 14 years ago i think i got the only one that wanted to move back to china luckly we came to a solution 5 months in china and 7 months in cali what a relief
Xpat.John:
I met my Chinese wife in the US about 10 years ago. After 4 years she had enough of the US and we moved to China. Since then we had kids and now she wants to move back to the US to raise them.
I find the worst creeps are the total zeros who couldn't get a girl back home, come her and start actually get laid then turn into pricks when it comes to women. It's like "guy, you didn't like being treated like shit back home cause of your tucked in T-shirts and socks with sandals look, so don't treat these girls bad."
I actually only went through one Chinese girl (other than my wife) before getting hitched and I put an end to dating Chinese girls casually cause she was genuinely hurt when I ended it despite it not being too serious as far as I though. I was used to girls back home who were a bit tougher when it came to this kind of thing. I'm not built for that kind of thing and I felt horrible for days.
But some of these fuckers seem to think it's their right to be creepy dicks now. real sad they can't instead develop as people.
GuilinRaf:
Yes. One would think that they would be more understanding and less prone to causing the same pain to others that they suffered themselves, ESPECIALLY to those who are being NICE to them.
For me the creepiness quotient increases and refers the guys who come here and "let themselves go". By that I mean, at the beginning they are clean,,,,shower, clean clothes, groomed, will buy new clothes from time to time especially as the seasons change. I have met a few that just throw in the towel and become, well, not mountain men but darn close. Their apartment is a pig's sty and their appearance has gone so far downhill that they begin to smell. Have you ever been invited to a guys home and went to the washroom and thought to yourself...look at this filth...WTF? Having said that, they still manage to get women.....but that's another thread I guess.
GuilinRaf:
Yeah, there was this freind of mine whose house smelled like a urinal. And he would actually bring girls there....
