The place to ask China-related questions!
Beijing Shanghai Guangzhou Shenzhen Chengdu Xi'an Hangzhou Qingdao Dalian Suzhou Nanjing More Cities>>

Categories

Close
Welcome to eChinacities Answers! Please or register if you wish to join conversations or ask questions relating to life in China. For help, click here.

By continuing you agree to eChinacities's Privacy Policy .

Sign up with Google Sign up with Facebook
Sign up with Email Already have an account? .
Posts: 253

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Q: What is the definition of Love for a Chinese girl or man?

Recently, my chinese girlfriend is telling me that my love is not "true" love and I don't care too much about her. I tried to change myself as much as possible. I used to drop her at her friends home when she wanted to visit and pick her up later on. But recently I told her that it is too much and waste of time as I have swing like a pendulum and wanted to focus on work.

I used to cook most of the time. I always do enjoy cooking for others and back home I was the one cooking most of the time helping my mom in the kitchen. So I didn't mind cooking for my present girl as well.

 

Since we are not married yet, she has to stay with her parents and can stay with me overnight 2-3 times a week though we often meet for dinner in the evening as our working place is closer. She is more interested in watching some kind of crap (at least for me as I rarely watch TV or any episodes, neither now or in the past). When we tried to do something she gets tired. But, "Wait a minute!" Watching for that tele drama! Even late night doesn't bother her much.

 

When she said that my love is not true love and I don't care about her, I was just pissed off. What the heck "true love" is for Chinese girl?

 

Or is it that giving my bank card, cook all the time, clean everything myself, buy lots of gifts and never do sex and complete submission to her hampering my work are definition of true love?

 

9 years 18 weeks ago in  Relationships - China

 
Answers (20)
Comments (10)
Posts: 9206

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

 Never drive her to meet her other boy friend. 

 The TV puts them in a trance, well documented. You keep the remote and only turn it on when she bothers you.

 If buying iPads for her doesn't get sex, take the dam thing back.

 True love costs 100 to 300 RMB.

Report Abuse
9 years 18 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1933

Shifu

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.

Report Abuse
9 years 18 weeks ago
 
Posts: 3044

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

You will not find in Chin the concept of "love" as we visualize it in Western countries.  For them, "love" is more materialistic, more practical, less romantic than for us.  

 

She is claiming you do not really love her just because for her, "love" does no means the same as for you.  And in a way, you are feeling the same way. 

 

You will not have peace of mind, or true happiness with her or any one else, until you dedicate time to fully understand the Chinese mind.  And that, my friend, is a long, arduous chore.

Report Abuse
9 years 18 weeks ago
 
Posts: 121

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

LOVE is a feeling,that is NOTHING CAN SEPARATE US.

Report Abuse
9 years 18 weeks ago
 
0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

In no particular order.

Money, fashion, car, house, latest gadget.

 

Please feel free to add to this list.

Report Abuse
9 years 18 weeks ago
 
0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

I think I'll answer with Charles Dickens on this one; 'Great Expectations'

 

Or,,, an iPad.

Report Abuse
9 years 18 weeks ago
 
Posts: 6321

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

She just sounds immature. Probably has seen too many dramas on television.

Report Abuse
9 years 18 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2549

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

The definition of love for most women here is simple.

 

I will quote Cuba Gooding Jr. from the movie Jerry Maguire.

 

"SHOW ME THE MONEY!!"

Report Abuse
9 years 18 weeks ago
 
Posts: 54

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

when  loving  someone , he is not replaceable ,  ,they always want to share life details and feelings with each other , because it's safe and makes  warm , they can have soul communication , they produce gentle feelings  whenever wherever  thinking  of each other , they can sacrifice for  the other one unconditionally, they believe they can make life better through working hard together.

Report Abuse
9 years 18 weeks ago
 
0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Isn't this an age old puzzle that has bothered mankind since the dawn of civilization (or maybe even before that)? 

 

To me, a Chinese guy, love is a byproduct of high quality sex. 

Report Abuse
9 years 18 weeks ago
 
Posts: 33

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Save the love for a puppy or goldfish,

Chinese girls are for banging and treating like garbage

Report Abuse
9 years 18 weeks ago
 
Posts: 253

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

thanks folks for your beautiful comments...i tried a lot to change...i even forgave her when she checked my phone, QQ, msn, emails..it was kind of invading my private space...i accepted that if she could be secure going through all those stuff...

as discussed in some other questions that "girls just walk away" without discussion or clear answer, now i am facing the same and realizing that it is true that they just closed their lips...i clearly told her to get her things out of my place but she is simply avoiding it...may be needs time to recalculate about the relationship....will wait till evening and if nothing happens then her stuff will be out of my door for anyone to pick upwell she will be reminded about it anyway..

 

I feel kind of load of the shoulder now and free to do as i pleased...Oh gosh need to go back to Google translator again for Chinese translation..at least i learned how to use taobao and it was amazing that i can simply type the question in GT and paste that Q to the vendor and communicate....

 

Cheers...just with 4 cans of beer, 2 hours badminton with my colleagues I am lighter than before

 

Cool....i found it a nice forum to communicate at least for me who is living in Guiyang and seeing other foreigners or hang out with them is quite rare.........

 

Report Abuse
9 years 18 weeks ago
 
0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

haku, good man. Although my wife is controlling and a bit abusive at times. She has never requested an IPAD of Iphone, she puts all the money in the bank. Rarely spends any money other than inexpensive things on TaoBao.

Report Abuse
9 years 18 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2020

Peasant

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

get me an ipod and i am yours 

Report Abuse
9 years 17 weeks ago
 
0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

hey ! be cool, calm and composed.just be happy man.whatever happens.

Report Abuse
9 years 17 weeks ago
 
0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

¥150

Report Abuse
9 years 16 weeks ago
 
Posts: 461

Shifu

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

By the hour or all night?

Report Abuse
9 years 16 weeks ago
 
Posts: 9206

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

I love you iPhone.

Report Abuse
9 years 16 weeks ago
 
Posts: 316

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

love for chinese men and women is like having all the materialistic goodies around you and especially the women desire that men shall see her and only her waste all his money  on her by buying whatever she wants......... that is love in china....... 

Report Abuse
9 years 16 weeks ago
 
Posts: 129

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

When there is a "true love" you just know it.
No questions are needed.
no offense intended

Report Abuse
9 years 16 weeks ago
 
Know the answer ?
Please or register to post answer.

Report Abuse

Security Code: * Enter the text diplayed in the box below
Image CAPTCHA
Enter the characters shown in the image.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <img> <br> <p> <u>
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • Textual smileys will be replaced with graphical ones.

More information about formatting options

Forward Question

Answer of the DayMORE >>
A: Dont know where they got those answers from, you DO need two shot Chin
A:Dont know where they got those answers from, you DO need two shot Chinese vaccine done at least 15 days prior to travel, but, you wont be entering anyway as ESL teachers are not considered essential workers. I have been here 17 years, double vaccinated 5 moonths ago, coulfnt even get an ETD to go home and bury my mother and was firmly told i would be denied entry, as if i am leaving my wife a kid behind.  -- markymarc1972