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Sign up with Google Sign up with FacebookQ: What do you do when people blatantly stare at you in China?
Do you blatantly stare at them back? I find it strange that when I catch people blatantly staring at me in China, they usually continue staring at me when I make eye contact with them. I used to ignore it, but now I try to turn it into a bit of a staring contest to make it more fun.
What do you do when Chinese guys blatantly stare at your Chinese wife/girlfriend? Do you ever say anything?
I stare back whilst cursing under my breath and forcing myself not to flip the middle finger.
Red_Fox:
Careful, laddie. You might incur the formidable wrath of the fictitious character called Watson. I have it on good account, stead and reputation that this avatar is piloted by some oddball poster out of Oz. And he/she apparently has a HUGE grudge against his/her native land. Who knows, right? Maybe got screwed out of some land deal in the outback. Ancestral rights or something like that. Just... be.. careful...
If it is really egregious gawking, I force myself to remain polite, and since I am not good at forcing myself to remain polite, I usually honor with a series of words in Chinese spoken with a Southern drawl, the likes of which words they probably often have not heard.
I flash them the peace sign and smile. And continue walking... No mystery there, right?
Nothing. It doesn't bother me at all. It's their trip, and I'm not on it. If it bothered me then it'd be like having to live life forever pissing into a headwind.
I stare back whilst cursing under my breath and forcing myself not to flip the middle finger.
Red_Fox:
Careful, laddie. You might incur the formidable wrath of the fictitious character called Watson. I have it on good account, stead and reputation that this avatar is piloted by some oddball poster out of Oz. And he/she apparently has a HUGE grudge against his/her native land. Who knows, right? Maybe got screwed out of some land deal in the outback. Ancestral rights or something like that. Just... be.. careful...
Both me and my chinese gf would stare back. The funny is that now it seems to bother her me than me while before it was other way around.
WHAT'S GOIN ON????? I'm beside myself with expectation! Belle Watson isn't real?? Must be Chinese then....there's nothin real here...
But...she can't be Chinese b/c they're a bunch of folks who aren't exactly getting screwed on the picking up land in Australia thing.
Geez...do you think she's telling fibs about having her bras hand made, too?
What do girls do back home when blokes stare at their breasts? You let it get to you or you don't. Back home nobody looks twice at me. Now I have an idea how the fairer sex feel (without the underlying layer of smut they have to rise above t'boot). It could be worse.
If they are staring hard at me I simply give them wink and lick my lips. This seems to make men especially uncomfortable.
Otherwise on occasion I wave my arms wildly shouting hello...
JoyAlmost:
I wanted to give a like but my phone wrong clicked in the unlike :( sorry
It's highly random, depends on the mood
* Most of the time, just roll my eyes and let it go
* Sometime, I stare back with the 'Dark Shroud of Evil' (tm) stare.
* Sometime, I stare back and I do some funny face and say 'laowai' in the most retarded way
DrMonkey:
Or, I did it just a couple of times when walking with my wife, if people stare and start to babble about us : 'ni khan, ni khan, zhong guo ren !', and I mimic their gestures and manners.
icnif77:
I always get laugh out of them. Always! 'All eyes out look' at first, but then 'cheessse'. Me what (shamaaaa)
Numbers of things youcan do:
1- Just ignore them
2- Make eye contact with them with them as ridicilous as possible
3- say hello
4- Behave like you are super star
I am mildly amused. The look behind the stare is just curiosity, there's no malice. I find Chinese people to be the happiest around.
KOREA on the other hand....that was hell. I was very unhappy there. The stares are just on a whole other level. There's hate.
Who is staring. Is it a pretty 25 year old girl or a little fat 5 year old boy. Call me superficial, but I think it matters.
Most likely I will just ignore and go about my business. Don't feed the monkeys.
I find it a constant source of amusement. It really makes me laugh sometimes, especially when their jaw hangs open! Sometimes I pretend I am an alien since it reminds me of the movie "They Live" when you put on the sunglasses!
Usually, I stare back blatantly! Often, they 'blink' first.
I did find in Beijing & here in Qingdao the stares are always worse if you were with a local girl, be it a student/friend/gf. BUT they were usually directed at the girl! Almost as if she was a 'slut' ! Very disconcerting.
But, the starers were in general, either tourists from the countryside who had never seen a laowei before or local farmers/peasants.
Not a problem, just ignorance & bad manners...but nothing to stress over.
Samm11:
exactly! it feels especially uncomfortable when you are with a student.
thedude:
This also happens to me and my gf....they often give her the death stare...especially old folks.
I made a voice recording on my phone, taken from google translate's sounds: "Look, a *laowai* in my country. I feel so brave. I will stare at him continuously. He looks unhappy when I point and stare, but I only need to consider he feelings of good Chinese people. He doesn't want me to take a photograph, or touch his hair. Foreigners are so arrogant. Perhaps he can learn good behaviour from culturally superior Chinese. I will find something else to point and laugh at. Chinese people will have a glorious future." Makesure the translator uses 老外for laowai, for added effect. Expect a blank stare in response, regardless of whether the listener understood the sarcasm or not.
I've pretty much learnt to ignore it. Friendly smiles are nice enough but that vacant bemusement makes me want to slap someone if I focus on it.
I smile at the individual: that usually makes them stop staring.
If they continue, i out-stare them. I'm quite good at that, i used to practice on the family cat (and win)
The staring is far and away the worst part of china for me. I find it interesting that many people have said that they have learned to deal with it, but for me ut has gotten worse with time. It makes me ten times more mad when they are staring at my wife like shw is a whore. I have never felt so emasculated by doing nothing. Id start shit back home for less than that.
If they are staring at me ill usually just make the fork fingers from my eyes to theres and mouth i see you. i dont know why i say it in english as i speak chinese but i am sure they do not have the brains to figure out mouthed words no matter the language.
If staring at my wife i get more aggressive and use the chine. kan ge pi, is an easy phrase which kinda means what the puck are you looking at? if they continue then ill usually ask, do you want to die infront of your wife, kid , friends? Thats usually enough but if they give me that god damned smirk, thats when i lise my shit.
mArtiAn:
I'm exactly the same if I take notice but it's me that loses out. It's not going to change for a long time and i'm not going home for a long time. So in the meantime I just treat people like kids. I don't get angry with kids staring, they're innocent. Or monkeys. So when I catch someone gawping I just ignore it; like I would a baby monkey.
coineineagh:
You can always get sarky and give them a mongoloid stare back: Mouth wide open, maybe hang your tongue out, head forward, squint your eyes, and make a nasal "uhhhh" sound. And if they keep looking, go: "Kan yi xia, laowai. Hou kan. Ni men kan." always with a stupefied nasal voice. I never actually did it myself, but I've been ever so tempted.
mArtiAn:
I've never tried that though I have kind of stuck my neck out and very obviously, showing no emotion, stared directly back. Have also reacted to people saying "Laowai" by pointing at the sky and saying 'Feiji" a few times. Childish really.
mike695ca:
well the problem with doing these things, is that we forget that not just the language is different but the ideas behind the language. Most rural people just cant understand at all the concepts of mimicry. Theyre like whoa this lao wai is calling me a lao wai and pointing at an invisible plane. Lets stare more!
Last time when me and my bf were in Hangzhou station, the auto ticket machine was broken, we had to wait in line. There was a strange Chinese guys before us kept looking at my bf. I stared back, but the guy continued. We moved our eyes. Then another stupid guy in another line stared at him. I stared back. That guy started saying some bad words to me. I give him a middle finger back.
Really rude.
I just pick my nose with my middle finger while staring back...works every time.