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Q: What do you do when your friend is dating a gold~digger?
I have had this situation come up with several friends here in Asia...
Now I should make a disclaimer by saying I am not trying to trash talk Asian women, but there is a definite subclass of women here and in SE Asia that see us "farangs" as a ticket to a free house, car, and/or visa out. In SE Asia the ones I came across seemed to be gold~diggers rather than passport chasers, whereas here I have not come across gold diggers but instead the "parasites" here seem to be chasing a visa out.
So concretely, I have a friend Bob, a smart older retired engineer, who is chasing a much younger and more attractive woman who had expressed her interest in heading overseas (to me). Given the situation, it is obvious she is just using the friend for a visa, but he (despite being intelligent enough to be an aeronautical engineer) seems to be falling for her, as if he is totally oblivious to what is obvious to anyone else.
Now I have a query: is it best to point out to your friend the obvious, or is it best to let someone who is remarkably naive learn the hard way, by being screwed over or the like?
10 years 3 weeks ago in Relationships - China
Live and learn, crash and burn. You cannot solve everyone else's problems nor should you take on other people's problems (because you'll lose out in the end).
As the late, great Andy Rooney once said, "It's impossible to feel sorry for all the people in the world who deserve to be felt sorry for."
Shining_brow:
There's a large difference between 'solving' and 'dropping a line'.
I'd say it'd be fine to have a word with the friend, but after that, leave it alone!
Do you think a retired man being interested in a young, attractive woman is more noble than her wanting a visa? Both people have their own desires, and if they are both getting what they want - great. I daresay neither of them is in it due to intellectual compatibility or mutual interests.
If I was a Chinese woman, I'd want a visa too. If I was an older man I'd probably be just as interested in young, gorgeous women as I am now. Let them make their own decisions.
Shining_brow:
There's something 'lacking in nobilitiy' in an older guy chasing a younger woman?/ I don't get that? (or, are you ageist??)
Maybe he truly is after a real, committed, equal relationship, but finds younger women more suited to his personality!!
Samsara:
I don't think that at all.
As stated above: "If I was an older man I'd probably be just as interested in young, gorgeous women as I am now." I think both their motives are quite understandable.
Their money, let them spend it any way they want. If they come to you complaining, let them know how stupid they are.
If she's that attractive, then he's happy. The visa won't come over night, by that time he''ll have moved on. I don't blame women for wanting visas from other countries to one where they think the streets are paved with gold. Too bad that's not true, US is crumbling, life in the country in Dakota or Manitoba sure is exciting.
I'd say - mention it, but be ready for either backlash, or ignorance.
Maybe he already knows, and doesn't have a problem with it (for whatever reasons).
If he's deluding himself, he won't take too kindly to the suggestion.
And, for all you know, maybe he and she have discussed all this!
so, bascially - don't judge!
