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Q: What do you think of my tuhao "acquaintance"?
I am so glad to know her, she is a typical lazy-ass tuhao who doesn't deserve her money.
I have met her through a friend of mine who works in the education field, my friend used to be the principal of a school and is now retired. She was working for him, always late at meetings and for work he told me, but he is a nice guy so he did not fire her.
Her goal back then was to find a rich guy to marry, she found him a few years later after she quit my friend's school. And what a man! A retired government official, the young 24 years old lady (back then) married a 52 years old gentleman, nothing to say about that, as the saying goes "love has no age". Why did the man retire so early you will ask? He is crippled, he can't stand straight for he has a bent backbone, maybe a scoliosis, must be fun in bed... that's probably why she hits on me all the time... hum anyway, also he probably embezzled enough money and decided to leave the game. He is a nice guy though, if you ignore the fact that he is (was?) corrupt as hell.
My "acquaintance" is an authentic farmer who became suddenly rich, I know from common relatives that she likes brag about her money. Of course she did not work a single day for that money, it all comes from her husband.
She can't make much money by herself, she has no marketable skills and can't run a business, she asked me many times to help her set up a business, but her greed makes that she doesn't want me to earn part of the profits, she wants to pay me one time to setup a basic income generating model and then what? Keep it on as long the money comes in, I guess so. The simple fact that she can't do it by herself proves her lack of education, business standards are so low in China that anyone with basic knowledge in related matters can stand out of the crowd and make big money.
She also wants to emigrate to the West, but that's not worth mentioning since every tuhao want so.
She cares a LOT, maybe too much, about face. They have a son together, a really sweet boy, he happens to have speaking problems, at 4 he still can't speak Chinese beside simple words let alone English. My acquaintance, his mother, refuses to send him to a specialized school, I advised some in Guangzhou owned and run by foreigners, not too expensive, but she won't, and he does not receive proper education from a certified tutor at home. You see she is really afraid that other people will find out about her son's problems and laugh at them, typical face mindset.
I told her a number of times that her son's education is the most important thing and screw whoever else laugh at him. Locking him at home is the worst thing to do, he should be out in the park or even at school socializing with other kids, he should be studying and developing himself.
But she won't listen, she only cares about now and not later on, she doesn't seem to understand that depriving her son from a proper education now will only worsen his situation once he reaches teenage and adulthood.
No matter how much money he has then, he will be an outcast if he lacks basic social skills, especially in Western countries. It is in his and their interest for him to have proper education.
Is there anything that can be done for the boy? Because that's not his fault after all.
Absolutely nothing by the sounds of it. Sad situation that the kid finds himself in. In the UK you could have a quiet word with social services in the hope that some support would be offered to the boy. Though saying that a lot of parents in the UK have to fight to get special needs services for their kids. But they bloody we'll fight for what is best for their child. They don't hide them away anymore to save face.
Absolutely nothing by the sounds of it. Sad situation that the kid finds himself in. In the UK you could have a quiet word with social services in the hope that some support would be offered to the boy. Though saying that a lot of parents in the UK have to fight to get special needs services for their kids. But they bloody we'll fight for what is best for their child. They don't hide them away anymore to save face.
She sounds like a waste of oxygen to me. It's a real tragedy that she'll probably drag the son down with her.
She sounds like another female who hits on Eorthisio. At least she's aware of how handsome you are. Gotta give her credit for that. 
Eorthisio:
Hey, not my fault if there is no serious competition from the local men in China, have an upvote 美男
a walking stereotype!
don't put such people in touch with real accountants and business consultants: it's bad enough that wealth stays in American families for generations, preventing skilled people from climbing the ladder. if these tuhao have more than corruption to keep their unskilled wealth generational, China's progress into the future will be stifled.
what's the right expression? let the wealth trickle down?
let the tuhao drown themselves in idiot taxes!
my two favourite American expressions really relate to China: idiot tax and mickey mousing.
Tell her: Fix it now, it probably goes away. Don't fix it, it gets worse and worse and ...
A friend of a friend is a speech therapist.
Well, I can tell you what she WAS taught and learned very well. How to be a snake and seduce a rich man... most girls like her are taught EXACTLY just that.
It sounds like a sad case. Many Chinese children suffer because their parents are too afraid to admit fault of ANY KIND.
This is why Chinese will always be at the bottom of the barrel, regardless of the size of their bank account.
hey, have you considered that a lot of these tuhao kids are intellectually stunted because they are emotionally broken? living with emotionally absent parents who give only false praise and no real affection can have its effects on a child's mind. he might have been born with full potential, not a handicap. like an abandoned baby animal, it will switch off, awaiting death.
As hotwater says, this would be considered child abuse in the UK. The child would be removed from the home and given to foster carers.
I wonder if some sort of reverse psycology would work. Something along the lines of how children with special needs are seen as wonderful people in your home country. Or how about saying how many foreigners are lining up to adopt disabled kids from China.
I had the same problem when I was young. I was actually incapable of speaking till I was about 8 years old. I had speech theapists, the lot
Unfortunately life has "rubber meets the road" moments. Ideologically, you wish to make things better for the lad. Realistically, there is probably nothing you can do about it. As they say...C'est la vie. If it were me, I'd move on from such an "acquaintance", as she appears to be bad karma.
3 kinds of folks in life. 1) Folks who are positive. good to be around, etc. These you keep in contact with.2)Folks who are neither positive or negative. They are just there. It depends if you keep contact with them or not. 3) Folks who are negative. Greedy, manipulative, cunning, etc. These folks are bad karma, and can drag you down.
Sounds to me she is #3. Flee from here and dont look back.
Poor kid, the woman doesn't see him as a priority since she doesn't need him as support for when she is old.
She is a local. She knows her way around, backdoors, side entrances, you name it. She has a track record of selling her soul already. With whatever amount of money she managed to siphon off the 'hushand' she is looking for an upgrade. You are the prey. She spotted your achilles heel, your compassion for the kid and is exploiting it. All three, husband, wife, and kid carry their own karma. You did your part by giving her advice and info for her kid who she doesn't really care about (she cares about HER face though). She also is probably aware of your personal details through the middleman (the retired schoolmaster). Many variations of this theme but they all boil down to 'I wanna improve my life' (innocent enough if not for the fact that they are educated to scam, find loopholes, short cuts....etc.)
Scream hell and run.
RachelDiD:
That is the unfortunate truth, isn't it? I think people like that are so lost that they do not even know how to want to fix themselves.
earthizen:
Indeed. She is pretty much dead except she doesn't know it. There are hundreds of millions like her in PRC playing variations of the same theme, all walking the same road of death. They are all deadly.
silverbutton1:
Not only in China. I saw this alot in Thailand and the PI too.
earthizen:
Yes, sugar daddies (mostly westerners, I am not sure if it is the locals they call them sugar daddies) and their 'daughters' in Thailand. Also mail order brides from Vietnam. They even have a bridal village (forbidden to outsiders) where these brides would go and stay before they ship them out. The 'weird' part is that quite a few of them (mostly peasant girls), being bought by peasants in Taiwan, say they are living a happy life. Birds of a feather flock together, both parties are used to agricultural work (physically demanding). The buyer is fully aware of his own inadequacies, so is the bride. So the local culture the buyer is brought up in makes a difference. This is a decades old 'tradition', apparently.
www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2012/05/the-plight-of-vietnams-mail-order-brides/257814/
