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Sign up with Google Sign up with FacebookQ: What really gets my goat in China?
I like China. I have a lovely Cantonese wife and I bought a nice apartment in a great location.
I can accept all the differences in culture, food, driving and the rest of it with relative ease.
But what really gets my goat is pens. Yes, pens!! Damn unicorning pens!
For Unicorn's Sake (FUS), a country that can manufacture world class electronics, planning on a man on the moon, high speed rail and all the other things (sic), why can't I find a unicorning pen in the office that can write more than a few unicorning words without stopping and starting. Unicorn! Unicorn! Unicorn!
FUS, I just want to jot a few notes and is it too much to ask that a unicorning pen can meet this lofty standard?
I hear you muttering "pfft" behind your lamian stained hipster beards. "No", I say! Enough is enough. I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!
I ended up buying a Parker Pen on taobao so I wouldn't be the office psychopath anymore. Unicorn!
So, to my question; What (seemingly) trivial thing gets your goat in China?
For me it's elevator etiquitte. I work in on a decently high floor of a big building and elevators are just a nightmare.
I can see what happens every time. People are worried the elevator might be full going down so they hit both the up and down buttons to maximize their chance of being able to get on an elevator. But this ruins the whole system! It means the elevator both ways stops at every floor.
It's kind of this game theory thing. Like if we could trust each not to hit the up button going down then we'd all get home faster. But if other people are doing that, it means that the elevator at any given floor including the top floor might be jammed full of people going the opposite direction. So the most rational thing to do is to also hit both buttons to maximize your chance at getting on at all.
then it takes much longer for everyone because it makes each elevator trip take much longer, where if people played by the rules and didn't hit up a free car would reach them faster because it could make 3X as many trips without all the wasted stops at empty floors with a jampacked elevator.
In a way I think this sums up a lot of China annoyances. There isn't trust in others to play by the rules so everyone acts selfishly and ends up worse off than if they behaved.
Robk:
Yeah that sums up their behavior very well.
It is a conundrum.
I want to look out for me and to get ahead so I will abuse the rules of the system, which actually ends up making not only myself but others suffer in the long-term. Narrow sighted people. Strange trait to have when you boast 5000+ years of culture and "civilization".
Coincidence - I recently bought a Parker on Taobao too. The Pike Series Urban Black Forest. Love it. I bought mine more for mianzi than need though.
The thing that gets my goat the most here on Mainland, not certain that it is trivial though, is the extremely high decibel level utilised during a seemingly ordinary conversation. I have been in E/SE Asia something like 12 years, maybe a bit more, and I still can't figure that one out. Strangest behavior I have ever seen from any population group anywhere. Gets on my nerves big time. I won't even spend time in the office because it sounds like a shouting match or maybe like a bar on a Friday night. These are the supposedly educated, sophisticated, urban class too.*
*for Sino standards
iWolf:
I have more face than you can poke a stick at with my all stainless steel Urban
diverdude1:
hard to beat that Black Forest though! I think these Parker pens rival a Mont Blanc or even a Dupont (maybe) for a fraction of the price.
I agree, all writing utensils are useless. I usually stick up back home. Silly thing to bring, but it avoids the hassle.
My goat is got by....walking. How trivial right? I understand moving slowly. If I thought 165 cm was tall and had no purpose in life, I might move slowly too. I was a caddy in school, so I am conditioned to walk more quickly than the aver~age bear. I learned how to weave around. What I don't get, is why so many people can't seem to walk in a straight line! Is one leg shorter than the other? It's like I'm on a bar street when it's 10 a.m. walking behind a grandma and the kid.
For me it's elevator etiquitte. I work in on a decently high floor of a big building and elevators are just a nightmare.
I can see what happens every time. People are worried the elevator might be full going down so they hit both the up and down buttons to maximize their chance of being able to get on an elevator. But this ruins the whole system! It means the elevator both ways stops at every floor.
It's kind of this game theory thing. Like if we could trust each not to hit the up button going down then we'd all get home faster. But if other people are doing that, it means that the elevator at any given floor including the top floor might be jammed full of people going the opposite direction. So the most rational thing to do is to also hit both buttons to maximize your chance at getting on at all.
then it takes much longer for everyone because it makes each elevator trip take much longer, where if people played by the rules and didn't hit up a free car would reach them faster because it could make 3X as many trips without all the wasted stops at empty floors with a jampacked elevator.
In a way I think this sums up a lot of China annoyances. There isn't trust in others to play by the rules so everyone acts selfishly and ends up worse off than if they behaved.
Robk:
Yeah that sums up their behavior very well.
It is a conundrum.
I want to look out for me and to get ahead so I will abuse the rules of the system, which actually ends up making not only myself but others suffer in the long-term. Narrow sighted people. Strange trait to have when you boast 5000+ years of culture and "civilization".
People cleaning their teeth by making horrible sounds.
screaming at each other when they are starting right next to each other.
Honking their horns continuously.
When you paying or speaking to someone at a counter and people all crowd around you. Stay back and wait your turn you bellends.
Lack of any planning before doing anything.
showing no compassion to others or ability to help anyone in distress
Strange, I am starting my fourth year in China and I've never had a problem with pens.
The he assumption that all foreigners know each other
Guys in their twenties shouting "HELOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
grow up you wankers
I actually found a cheap ,use until it dies then replace pen I really like. Just lucky i guess.
Things pish me off just like everyone else.. all of the above and a lot more (except pens) but the inability to avoid cigarette smoke would probably be my pet peeve.
Step out of the apartment door, hallway full of smoke from neighbors . Half breathe until the elevator arrives and its full of smoke from whoever just got out.
Exit elevator and start walking but you get stuck behind a group of slow walking guys all smoking and spread out across the sidewalk so you can't pass them, you have to slow walk behind breathing their smoke.
Get in a taxi and it's full of smoke from the last passenger, or the driver who lights up just after you get in. Try not to breathe until you get out of the taxi. Go to the gym to feel healthy and everyone in the locker room is smoking. Finish at the gym,go to get lunch somewhere and the restaurant is full of smokers.
Everywhere you go people are smoking around you, you can't avoid it.
the assumption that foreigners cant do simple tasks as well as locals
People putting toilet paper in the rubbish bin next to the squat toilet. Disgusting! And why!?
Stiggs:
If you ever had an overflowing, blocked up toilet you had to try to unblock, while trying not to look in the bowl or puke,you'd understand.
Asian plumbing generally isn't built for wads of toilet paper being flushed down it.
iWolf:
It is a consideration. When you are on the squatter and have no paper there is some conveniently placed within arm's reach by a kind person before you
And one more thing about bloody pens. If someone finds their pen not working, instead of throwing it away, it is replaced in the communal pen box. Unicorns!!
I have a pen from Crown Plaza in Sanya, can't even remember when we were there, still writing.
What about "owl-necking?" As if the staring isn't bad enough, do they HAVE to turn 180 degrees while STILL MOVING FORWARD?! I saw 2 near misses in about 25 minutes bcs of this. I realize I'm incredibly handsome, tall, and strong (not at all really) but y'all act like u never seen a white person before. Jaws drop on the floor like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door, started whoopin her ass first and before...
Stupid things like trying to book online with China Southern from Guangzhou to Bali, only to be told that they only accept Chinese cards, not VISA or Master card. Hell, they are supposed to be an international airline so why not accept international cards or do they think only Chinese people from the mainland will book with them. So much stupid stuff here in China where it really is not thought out properly.
Foreigners only being allowed to stay in certain hotels in some cities. Arrived in Beijing and spent about 4 hours trying to find a hotel that was registered to accept foreigners.
This is begging for a laundry list but here are a few:
- When Chinese all talk at the same time and nobody is listening... especially annoying at dinners while one or two of them are trying to ask you questions in Chinese...
- Guys always asking you out for drinks, saying they want to drink with you and be your best buddy... translation "I want to show off that I have a foreign friend to my asshole buddies that will try to compete with you and get super drunk and then mock you."
- Chinese inviting you to dinner and then inviting like 10 more people, just so they can gain face showing off the foreigner and don't tell you about any of these people beforehand
- Chinese walking in zigzags like they are the only people on the path and totally lost.
- Asking a Chinese person for directions (don't do it... use the internet)
- Hearing "your Chinese is so good" after only speaking one word.
- Hearing "You are so clever" because you use chopsticks (especially left hand)
- Hearing "When are you going to go back home?", assuming that your home is not China and you are always labeled a guest.
- The drilling, the honking, the shouting and general huge abundance of unnecessary noise pollution.