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Q: What should I do when I witness a sexual assault?
While jogging near a university, I passed a shadowy place just off the road beneath some trees. There, I saw two young people, a boy and a girl. The boy had the girl in a tight grip and was trying to force her to kiss him. She kept refusing, and so he took one of his hands and used it to hold her face in place, started kissing her, and began groping her with his free hand. As I passed by, I desperately wanted to help the girl, but knew that doing anything violent could get me deported. So, I resigned myself to approaching the two, making. long eye contact with the creep, and forcing myself to do nothing more than scowl at him and shake my head as a warning. He ignored my bluff and persisted. I continued jogging and quickly remembered that I had my cell phone with me. I pulled it out and hit record, hoping the knowledge that here's being filmed would shame him enough to stop. Instead, it only made things worse. As she failed around in his arms (they were standing), his hand went down her pants. At that instant, it became apparent that my presence was only enticing him. To prevent it from escalating, I angrily left, fuming about how most of the men I've met here have turned out to be alcoholic, chainsmoking womanizerso.
We're not allowed to physically harm anyone while we're here in China, even if it's in the name of justice. If we do, we end up on the news and get deported as a troublemaking laowai. I tried two nonviolent tactics to get him to stop, and neither worked. This is a small town and few people know English. I don't know Chinese, and at 5' 4" I'm not a visually intimidating sight in this city where most of the men are over 5' 10". The police, according to everyone here, are useless. So what, pray-tell, should I have done to stop that man?
9 years 25 weeks ago in Health & Safety - China
There is no good answer.
Chinese people don't help women in distress. When something shocking happens in public, bystanders either pretend not to notice, or stand at a distance and take photos.
And the race thing...
If you intervene, locals will agree that the laowai had no right to insult the pride of the Chinese by interfering (let alone attacking a Chinese person), and most will be against you. And then come the legal repercussions.
Face is significantly more important to Chinese people than stopping sexual assault. But one shouldn't use words like "morally inert" or "xenophobic". Their inability to do the right thing is just a "cultural difference".
QDasmond:
I'm still worried about the girl. In fact, now I'm worried about allof the girls I know hhere.
Samsara:
Agreed. A few of my friends have opened up about their experiences, and I've heard some horror stories.
Perpetrators of sexual assault and domestic violence have pretty much free reign in China. No one (neither family, friends nor police) are of much use in the matter.
QDasmond:
During one of my classes today, I asked my students if they would intervene if they saw "a girl being beaten up" by a boy. None of them said yes. One said that he would first want to know whether the girl had done something bad to the boy, and the other said that he would not, though he would fight for his country.
Samsara:
God, how simultaneously depressing and laughable.
"...whether the girl had done something to the boy."
Since coming to China I have heard so many justifications for domestic violence and domestic rape. It's apparently normal for men to beat women if they are angry, and according to Chinese logic there is no such thing as rape if you're married. See Islamic law.
"...though he would fight for his country."
They'll fight to protect their government, but not to protect each other. That's exactly the type of slaves the CCP needs.
China!
I just keep going over it again and again in my head, thinking that there must've been something I could've done.
ChinaPro:
Call 110...the Police. When you call, it gets logged. If you call enough or other people too, whoever is in charge of the area of keeping it "safe" will get in trouble for failing to do their job.
I once had to go to the police station because of an issue a friend had and was told by a higher up officer to go at a certain time, which I did, and he ended up not being there. When i called his number, he didnt care about his word and me being there...so at the station i called multiple times 110 and reported the officer. Because of that, it showed he is not performing well and not keeping the people "safe."
It is too late for you to do anything now so don't beat yourself up about it. I once called the police on this guy dragging a woman around on the street by her hair. The guy was lucky my wife didn't let me hurt him or I would have dragged him to the river and thrown him in. The police arrived and talked to the woman, the police saw him hit her in the face and did nothing. They then put them both in the same taxi. As the taxi drove off I saw the guy hit her again. The police didn't want to do anything. If you called the police nothing would have happened. I will just say if no one else is around you should have given him a beating then left. If he bothered calling the police just deny you ever saw the guy and that it must have been someone else.
Lord_hanson:
Not in my neighbourhood but I would have beaten him even if he was in my neighbourhood.
ChinaPro:
I'm kind of not surprised. If an "incident" where the police have to further get involved, it shows the police are "not keeping the people safe." So because they didn't arrest him, it means the problem was "figured out."
That's why when their are traffic accidents, the police really encourage the people to deal with it on their own and not with the police.
It sucks, but this is China.
Gutless coward.
QDasmond:
Refer to the child abuse thread for more "gutless cowards." (http://answers.echinacities.com/question/child-abuse-public)
Englteachted:
Agreed spider. To do absolutely nothing and then make a post focusing only on yourself and your dilemma. Fuck the poor girl getting raped.
Englteachted:
A parent beating their child is completely different from rape.
There is no good answer.
Chinese people don't help women in distress. When something shocking happens in public, bystanders either pretend not to notice, or stand at a distance and take photos.
And the race thing...
If you intervene, locals will agree that the laowai had no right to insult the pride of the Chinese by interfering (let alone attacking a Chinese person), and most will be against you. And then come the legal repercussions.
Face is significantly more important to Chinese people than stopping sexual assault. But one shouldn't use words like "morally inert" or "xenophobic". Their inability to do the right thing is just a "cultural difference".
QDasmond:
I'm still worried about the girl. In fact, now I'm worried about allof the girls I know hhere.
Samsara:
Agreed. A few of my friends have opened up about their experiences, and I've heard some horror stories.
Perpetrators of sexual assault and domestic violence have pretty much free reign in China. No one (neither family, friends nor police) are of much use in the matter.
QDasmond:
During one of my classes today, I asked my students if they would intervene if they saw "a girl being beaten up" by a boy. None of them said yes. One said that he would first want to know whether the girl had done something bad to the boy, and the other said that he would not, though he would fight for his country.
Samsara:
God, how simultaneously depressing and laughable.
"...whether the girl had done something to the boy."
Since coming to China I have heard so many justifications for domestic violence and domestic rape. It's apparently normal for men to beat women if they are angry, and according to Chinese logic there is no such thing as rape if you're married. See Islamic law.
"...though he would fight for his country."
They'll fight to protect their government, but not to protect each other. That's exactly the type of slaves the CCP needs.
China!
Your post is odd. You only focus on yourself omitting the most important detail. What exactly made you think it was an attack as opposed to 2 people having sex? And you claim to have made eye contact? And he continued.... odd.
Why not make a lot of noise? Why not whip out your camera and record him ? The video would help you and you could call a friend asking them to call the police to your location.
Hell , you made eye contact, why not take out your phone so he could see?
Your only options are not do nothing or kick his ass.
QDasmond:
Valid questions. While jogging near a university, I passed a shadowy place just off the road beneath some trees. There, I saw two young people, a boy and a girl. The boy had the girl in a tight grip and was trying to force her to kiss him. She kept refusing, and so he took one of his hands and used it to hold her face in place, started kissing her, and began groping her with his free hand. As I passed by, I desperately wanted to help the girl, but knew that doing anything violent could get me deported. So, I resigned myself to approaching the two, making. long eye contact with the creep, and forcing myself to do nothing more than scowl at him and shake my head as a warning. He ignored my bluff and persisted. I continued jogging and quickly remembered that I had my cell phone with me. I pulled it out and hit record, hoping the knowledge that here's being filmed would shame him enough to stop. Instead, it only made things worse. As she failed around in his arms (they were standing), his hand went down her pants. At that instant, it became apparent that my presence was only enticing him. To prevent it from escalating, I angrily left.
QDasmond:
Governor, it's not made-up. If you think it is, well... oh well.
nzteacher80:
I usually disagree with EnglteachTed. I have to agree with him here.Your story does have a distinct air of horseshit.
Do exactly what you would want someone to do if you were in that situation...
Help them. You don't have to kick his ass and stand around like a hero. You can start recording them with a phone camera, call the police, or just instantly disable the situation in some other way.
You know what defuses tense situations? Instant confusion.
A fight is not confusing. You get into a fight you react with fighting back or running. If you do something totally bizarre people just freeze up. You could start doing a crazy dance while singing "Baby Hit Me One More Time" at the top of your lungs and that would have done more than walking away. He would probably be like WTF... and either lose some anger, get mad at you (fine), or stand there staring at you... giving time for the victim to walk away.
Doing nothing means losing a little bit of your humanity.
QDasmond:
But we CAN'T help them. We're not allowed. It's just a fantasy to think otherwise. And, yes, a loss of humanity is involved.
Spiderboenz:
False. There is ALWAYS something that you can do to help them.
Englteachted:
Why is this nut bag obsessed with the thought that you can only intervene with violence?
post a link to that video.
QDasmond:
Deleted the video because 1) it was too blurry and 2) it was both useless and disturbing. I'm not obsessed with violence. I tried two nonviolent strategies. Neither worked. Watch it with the ad hominem.
You must be a very slow jogger....or have spider sense.
I call BS on this one.
A shy retiring insecure person quoting latin phrases. Yeah right.
QDasmond:
I am indeed a slow jogger. This is my second week doing it.
And, I'm used to you and others doubting what I say. To be honest, some of you come off as bullies who just post disses on people's posts. It's kind of annoying. I realize you out-rank me, and so maybe that means by questioning you I'm getting myself kicked off. But, someone needs to tell you and a couple of the others to cool it with your posts. You're acting like trolls. You're the bosses, the big kahoonahs, the cool kids, the whatevers. And, I'll tell you straight-up, you've gotten me kicked off this site before just by doubting that I'm American (I'm sick of you three, to be honest, so I'll take my leave after this). You've been wrong every time, of course. I'm American. I went to college and do indeed quote Latin phrases. Almost every single post I've ever written has had you or Mr. Boobies, a.k.a. Englishteachted, harping on me. It's as if this site is your whole world and you're so afraid to lose your image here. Well, keep it. I have a life that extends beyond this little site. You come here to mock people. I've been coming here for advice. Gosh, I think I've used half a dozen screen names during my tenure. And yeah, I know you'll jump on my use of the word "gosh," saying English-speakers don't use it. Well, you know what? Some of us do, smartass. I can't count the number of times you've screamed "imposter" just because of the retro words I use. Geez it's been annoying. Anyway, have your fun. Keep your title as governor of the trolls. I'll leave mine right here and say good-bye. Screw you.
nzteacher80:
I hope you guys feel proud of what you've done. Now you've made him cry. He pm'd me and told me to tell you all that you can't come to his birthday party.
Englteachted:
" just post disses on people's posts."
Now I am sure your story is bogus and I am willing to bet that you're really Chinese.
expatlife26:
That's a dead giveaway he's CFTU, that he doesn't use profanity. Remember how CFTU members were getting scammed by being forced to use profanity and getting kicked out?
http://answers.echinacities.com/question/recruiter-scam-alert-have-you-been-victim
remember that's how we discovered Mary Celeste as well. No CFTUnuch can use profanity or they get cast out, doesn't matter why. Look here at the comment on Sinobears reply. "Geez, man. Lay-off, would ya? Dude, I'm American." The sad truth is that's the strongest language a CFTU member is permitted to use
I don't want him to get blocked though, cause it's getting bad for CFTU members, if they get blocked now they face a court-martial and probably a firing squad. I don't wish that on dear Qdasmond.
you should put a stop to it as it most chinese men are small and fairly chicken shit and get someone to phone the police. Somethings are too serious to ignore regardless.
High school principals measuring girl's chest, landlords spying on female tenants, young men gang raping women because they can't find a bride thanks to the gender gap, trafficked women in the countryside who are bought by villages and raped by different peasants regularly for the same reason of gender gap, university male students forcing female students to kiss them.
And they tell Chinese women to beware of foreigners 
High school principals measuring girl's chest, landlords spying on female tenants, young men gang raping women because they can't find a bride thanks to the gender gap, trafficked women in the countryside who are bought by villages and raped by different peasants regularly for the same reason of gender gap, university male students forcing female students to kiss them.
And they tell Chinese women to beware of foreigners
High school principals measuring girl's chest, landlords spying on female tenants, young men gang raping women because they can't find a bride thanks to the gender gap, trafficked women in the countryside who are bought by villages and raped by different peasants regularly for the same reason of gender gap, university male students forcing female students to kiss them.
And they tell Chinese women to beware of foreigners
High school principals measuring girl's chest, landlords spying on female tenants, young men gang raping women because they can't find a bride thanks to the gender gap, trafficked women in the countryside who are bought by villages and raped by different peasants regularly for the same reason of gender gap, university male students forcing female students to kiss them.
And they tell Chinese women to beware of foreigners
High school principals measuring girl's chest, landlords spying on female tenants, young men gang raping women because they can't find a bride thanks to the gender gap, trafficked women in the countryside who are bought by villages and raped by different peasants regularly for the same reason of gender gap, university male students forcing female students to kiss them.
And they tell Chinese women to beware of foreigners
High school principals measuring girl's chest, landlords spying on female tenants, young men gang raping women because they can't find a bride thanks to the gender gap, trafficked women in the countryside who are bought by villages and raped by different peasants regularly for the same reason of gender gap, university male students forcing female students to kiss them.
And they tell Chinese women to beware of foreigners
High school principals measuring girl's chest, landlords spying on female tenants, young men gang raping women because they can't find a bride thanks to the gender gap, trafficked women in the countryside who are bought by villages and raped by different peasants regularly for the same reason of gender gap, university male students forcing female students to kiss them.
And they tell Chinese women to beware of foreigners
Eorthisio:
Years of training, top of the game, don't be jealous of my skills bro.
Is it me or does this guy over use 'to be honest' ?
Scandinavian:
to be honest you've used it 50% as much as he has in this thread
but more interesting. Are people who use "to be honest" actually being honest or are they trying to seem honest? Of course most people who say "to be honest" means "to be direct/blunt", it's like a thing people say like when they like cannot articulate themselves in a like grown up manner. The language has gone astray, "literally" and "figuratively" are now interchangeable (in English, NOT in Scandinavian) Doesn't people who say "OMG" most often mean "OYG" ?
You should do nothing because you're not a real person.
From the get you ask the typical fear-bait, "i'm just asking?" type questions that CFTU guy always did.
But this time you had a photo of a person and tried to have more personality so good for you. You're learning.
But honestly what's the end game here? We're never going to not call you out, so what's the point?
