The place to ask China-related questions!
Beijing Shanghai Guangzhou Shenzhen Chengdu Xi'an Hangzhou Qingdao Dalian Suzhou Nanjing More Cities>>

Categories

Close
Welcome to eChinacities Answers! Please or register if you wish to join conversations or ask questions relating to life in China. For help, click here.
Posts: 111

General

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Q: what would you do if your friend whom you don't love give you a rose ?

got a friend gave me a rose on valentine's day,But we are just friends,which make me really awkard .

so what do you think i should do  without hurting him ? 

5 years 39 weeks ago in  Relationships - China

 
Answers (10)
Comments (10)
Posts: 4432

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Just say thank you, and add this bit in: This is a nice "friendship gift".. I would not hurt the heart of someone trying to be kind to me.

Report Abuse
5 years 39 weeks ago
 
0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

I see two ways to proceed:

 

1. The Chinese method

 

Give some vague, noncommittal answers, and ensure that all parties, including yourself, are confused as to what is happening. If he asks whether you are in love with him too, say "yes" (to begin with). This is because a) you don't want to hurt his feelings, and b) it's the opposite of the truth, making it the correct answer by default.

 

After this you will probably have to avoid him for weeks (maybe years), while making up ever more implausible stories about what your feelings are and why you can't interact with him. This will result in emotional drama, anger, confusion, embarrassment and considerable inconvenience. But hey, you didn't want to hurt his feelings.

 

2. The Western method

 

Tell him you're not interested in being his girlfriend.

 

Report Abuse
5 years 39 weeks ago
 
0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

This is why Apple sell so many Ipad's surprise

Report Abuse
5 years 39 weeks ago
 
Posts: 3185

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

this time last year a local guy i knew began moving in the 'i want you to be more than a friend' direction.

I anticipated that by countering with the 'you will never be more than a friend and i will never be your girl-friend' response as clearly and as often as i could, hoping to make it obvious as soon as possible where i was coming from: i also wanted to avoid any possible hurt

I said i didn't want to hurt him, but despite my clear and obvious responses that i was not interested, he then moved on to 'I want you to meet my family', followed up by his best friend telling me what a great guy he was.

 

I then refused all contact with him as he was annoying me.

It seems neither method is fool-proof

Report Abuse
5 years 39 weeks ago
 
Posts: 448

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Ask him to buy you an IPad, IPhone, new car, and a house. Then tell him your mother forbids you from having relations with him because he is unworthy.

Report Abuse
5 years 39 weeks ago
 
Posts: 139

General

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

People can be direct without being hurtful. You can say "thank you for the gift, I appreciate your friendship.  If you want more than friendship from me, I want to be honest with you and tell you that I am in a relationship with someone else that I love."

Report Abuse
5 years 39 weeks ago
 
Posts: 244

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

hahaha sounds like you have conflict with the chinese way of "solving" things.  Just hang out with more foreigners so you learn receiving a rose is not big deal, you won't hurt anyone by accepting the rose & even for saying whatever u wanna say. C'mon, cheers!! Wake up girl!

Report Abuse
5 years 39 weeks ago
 
0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

i think the OP unwittingly admitted that she doesn't care about hurting the guys feelings. if she did, then it would be obvious that she should say NO to avoid unnecessary misery (there is always some necessary misery). but there's one thing that the guy can offer her, and she's not willing to part with it: ATTENTION. the gratification of knowing (and other people knowing) she has an admirer. she plans to string him along with lies for as long as he's willing. it raises her "market price" when people can see she is on demand. she'd be doing an injustice to her family by not milking the situation for all it's worth. all under the pretence of "not" wanting to hurt his feelings. clever, but anyone with IQ over 100 wont let it happen to them twice. let's hope this guy is smart enough!

Report Abuse
5 years 39 weeks ago
 
Posts: 9197

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Say thankyou, I am hungry and eat it.

Report Abuse
5 years 34 weeks ago
 
Posts: 69

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Amazing , everyones an expert lol

Report Abuse
5 years 34 weeks ago
 
Know the answer ?
Please or register to post answer.

Report Abuse

Security Code: * Enter the text diplayed in the box below
Image CAPTCHA
Enter the characters shown in the image.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <img> <br> <p> <u>
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • Textual smileys will be replaced with graphical ones.

More information about formatting options

Forward Question

Answer of the DayMORE >>
A: Going to HK would be the best bet I reckon, especially if you were loo
A:Going to HK would be the best bet I reckon, especially if you were looking for a church wedding. Chinese weddings are pretty grim IMO - you go to a barren govt dept with souless officials and navigate red tape so some guy can give you a red stamp and a marriage book. You get expensive pictures taken of you both posing in places you'd never go to in everyday life that is somehow supposed to represent your wedding, then a while later it's off to a restaurant where a game show host kind of guy makes sure it's as tacky as possible while the guests eat as fast as they can so they can leave as soon as they finish eating and gave you money. Hell, I'd go to Thailand or the Philippines and get married in Paradise.   -- Stiggs