The place to ask China-related questions!
Beijing Shanghai Guangzhou Shenzhen Chengdu Xi'an Hangzhou Qingdao Dalian Suzhou Nanjing More Cities>>

Categories

Close
Welcome to eChinacities Answers! Please or register if you wish to join conversations or ask questions relating to life in China. For help, click here.

By continuing you agree to eChinacities's Privacy Policy .

Sign up with Google Sign up with Facebook
Sign up with Email Already have an account? .
Posts: 381

Governor

3
4
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
1

Q: What is wrong with these people?

So, today I found out why my Chinese GF of f four years, who I supported financially when times were tough and took on numerous trips around the world and in China, had been ignoring my calls for the past two months.  She got promoted to deputy principal at her school and thinks that I as an English teacher do not fit her current status or income expectations.  I am teaching as an early retirement job, after making my money in the corporate world, more than she will ever see.  The betrayal stings, but I saw it coming

 

This is not my first experience of the money kind, hence my somewhat rhetorical question.   WTF is wrong with these people, have they no shame or sense of doing the right thing for the right reason?

 

There, got it off my chest, rant over.

4 years 34 weeks ago in  Relationships - China

 
Highest Voted
Posts: 4378

Emperor

4
4
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

An ugly wake-up call, eh?  Well, do a bit of research on the Cultural Revolution.  A Chinergook will cut the heart out of his mom, steam it like baozi, and never look back (literally, not figuratively).  Sorry dude, u ain't dealing with the Judeo-Christian concept of ethics here.  This is a Survive or Die place.

You inter-coursed her; she inter-coursed you. Done deal.

Report Abuse
4 years 34 weeks ago
 
Answers (15)
Comments (10)
1
1
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

If you saw it coming, and did nothing to stop/prevent it...  WTF is wrong with YOU?

Report Abuse
4 years 34 weeks ago
 
Posts: 4986

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Hey I'm not going to put you down, but unless you're blind, you saw it coming a mile away. People can't hide the truth this easily. When red flags pop up like this, you should consider them and be ready to cut your losses and run.

 

Try to gently bring up the red flags with your supposed woman. Most people with secret plans will reveal them when asked about them. Some people like revealing them.

Report Abuse
4 years 34 weeks ago
 
Posts: 4378

Emperor

4
4
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

An ugly wake-up call, eh?  Well, do a bit of research on the Cultural Revolution.  A Chinergook will cut the heart out of his mom, steam it like baozi, and never look back (literally, not figuratively).  Sorry dude, u ain't dealing with the Judeo-Christian concept of ethics here.  This is a Survive or Die place.

You inter-coursed her; she inter-coursed you. Done deal.

Report Abuse
4 years 34 weeks ago
 
0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Ouch, tough break. But if you saw it coming maybe you should have ended it sooner. Plenty of fish in the sea bro.

Report Abuse
4 years 34 weeks ago
 
Posts: 544

Governor

1
1
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

You're not seen as a person, just as a source of income and social status.

 

Not all Chinese women see men like this, but it's a cultural aspect that is prevalent.

Report Abuse
4 years 34 weeks ago
 
3
3
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

 

The female, not the male, determines all the conditions of the animal family. Where the female can derive no benefit from association with the male, no such association takes place. — Robert Briffault, The Mothers, Vol. I, p. 191

 

Also.....Hypergamy.

 

Evolutionary Psychology theory on the instinctual desire of humans of the female sex to discard a current mate when the opportunity arises to latch onto a subsequent mate of higher status due to the hindbrain impetus to find a male with the best ability to provide for her OWN offspring (already spawned or yet-to-be spawned) regardless of investments and commitments made to a current mate.

 

Way it goes....sorry.

 

Report Abuse
4 years 34 weeks ago
 
Posts: 285

Governor

1
2
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
1

sooner or later, she will be leftover woman like me.

Report Abuse
4 years 34 weeks ago
 
Posts: 865

Governor

1
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
1

..........

Report Abuse
4 years 34 weeks ago
 
1
1
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

This one's on you. You can't buy a girlfriend. You can buy sex but  not a girlfriend. Why take her on trips around the world at your expense? You thought that if you did that she would stay, that is your fault. 

You know what I did when I was dating, I would take trips by myself. If she expected me to take her with me and foot the bill I would politely tell her she's my girlfriend not my wife. Learn how to attract girls and keep girls with your personality and ability in the bedroom 

Report Abuse
4 years 34 weeks ago
 
Posts: 381

Governor

0
1
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
1

Thanks for the input, guys, but there is more to it.  I took her on trips, because I enjoy doing it and she did too.  At the time there was no such thing as buying her.  The thing is, with her new status she has set herself higher expectations and doesnt think I can meet them, but she hasnt broken it off yet, because she doesnt know I know about her new status and expectations.  She just started ignoring me,  keeping me as a backup just in case she cant find a better prospect

 

BTW, she is 46 years old, definitely a leftover women and her chances of finding another man is somewhere between zero and f-all.  She cannot speak English, so foreigners are virtually out of the question (where she lives there are hardly any anyway) and no Chinese man that meets her financial expectations would rather have a strong 46 year old than a much younger pretty and dumb one.

 

I feel more sorry for her than myself, it is easy to get a replacement, but she is going to end up lonely and blaming the world, because of greed.  I did love her, maybe she wasnt deserving.

Report Abuse
4 years 34 weeks ago
 
Posts: 224

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Break it off with her. Let the leftover woman remain with her parents. 

Report Abuse
4 years 34 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1101

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Traditionally, women marry men with higher social status at the current time, what you were back then is irrelevant

 

In my early days in China I was dating an older woman, I was 22 at that time and she was 34, though she looked much younger. Past the leftover age no Chinese dude would consider her I suppose.

 

She had a typical desk job at an investment company. One day she got promoted as office manager and dumped me because dating an English teacher (I was at that time) was below her new standards.

 

Good, I had no problem getting other women anyway. After a year or so she called asking me to come back, of course I refused. I have heard from common acquaintances that she lost her job after making a bad decision that resulted in the company losing money.

 

She made a few attempts to get me back, then I never heard from her again, apparently she went back to her hometown, probably unable to secure a new job in the city.

Report Abuse
4 years 34 weeks ago
 
0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

I haven't been in that position (lack of girlfriends...), but a question for you all...

 

If you've known what they've been up to, and you confront them about it, how do they react? Especially stories like RandomGuy's.

Report Abuse
4 years 34 weeks ago
 
0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Sorry to hear that, can't be a fun thing to go through.

Best of luck picking up the pieces and moving on.

Report Abuse
4 years 34 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1103

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Lots more fish in the sea, sounds like the typical slave mentality, authoritarian personality that worships those with higher status and shits on anything perceived as lower.

Report Abuse
4 years 34 weeks ago
 
Know the answer ?
Please or register to post answer.

Report Abuse

Security Code: * Enter the text diplayed in the box below
Image CAPTCHA
Enter the characters shown in the image.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <img> <br> <p> <u>
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • Textual smileys will be replaced with graphical ones.

More information about formatting options

Forward Question

Answer of the DayMORE >>
A: Going to HK would be the best bet I reckon, especially if you were loo
A:Going to HK would be the best bet I reckon, especially if you were looking for a church wedding. Chinese weddings are pretty grim IMO - you go to a barren govt dept with souless officials and navigate red tape so some guy can give you a red stamp and a marriage book. You get expensive pictures taken of you both posing in places you'd never go to in everyday life that is somehow supposed to represent your wedding, then a while later it's off to a restaurant where a game show host kind of guy makes sure it's as tacky as possible while the guests eat as fast as they can so they can leave as soon as they finish eating and gave you money. Hell, I'd go to Thailand or the Philippines and get married in Paradise.   -- Stiggs