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Q: what you think a 23 years old girl shall be capable of ?

what kind of qualities,habits,hobbies do you expect in her to have? answer in general and realistic sense ?

7 years 4 weeks ago in  General  - Qingdao

 
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I really will not get into specifics, I do not think is the answer you are looking for.  But in general, I would say that she should know enough to take care of herself in every aspect of life.  In my eyes she is an adult, and as such should function as an independent self sufficient person.  That is my opinion, but I may be bias, since I left my home at 16 and lived on my own since then.

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7 years 4 weeks ago
 
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Well, first of all, at 23 you are no longer a girl, you are a woman (or young lady). And as a 24 year old woman, I guess it's best for me to answer this. Like Happy said, you should be able to take care of yourself in most aspects. If you need help sometimes, it's ok to ask for it, but you should be able to do normal things on your own (like cooking some food, laundry, cleaning, buying things that you need). You should have a stable job, or if you are still in school, do well in your studies. You should be thinking about your future and make some goals. You can have any kind of hobbies you want, but you should have at least one. Watching TV and sleeping are not hobbies. And even though this is not really an expectation or a requirement, I suggest that you save some money for future emergencies. As for some qualities, I think being thoughtful/considerate, empathetic, curious, and motivated are good, as well as having the ability to problem solve. But you either have certain qualities or you don't, and honestly, I'm not very motivated, but I keep trying.

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7 years 4 weeks ago
 
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The things Jnusb said are all good, but the only two things I would add is really being self-supportive in all things. At 23 you are not a child, you should be able to either do everything for yourself, or know who to go to to get those things done, and that does not include running to mummy or daddy. Also to be able to think problems through to a solution. Irrespective of what you may have been told in the past there is usually more than one way round most things, although there are exceptions. I have found most young Chinese to be quite immature. If this does not apply to you, sorry, I am just saying what I have found generally. Develop a sense of independence.

 

Lastly are you asking the question as a young man finding a girlfriend, if so just accept that everyone is different. We all have our own strengths and weaknesses, just accept if you do not match put it down to experience and move on, it is no-ones fault. If you are a young woman, it sounds as though you are trying to match up to some preconceived idea of young womanhood. Again as I said above develop a sense of independence and do not just follow what everyone else does. that will not make you happy until you discover who YOU are.

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7 years 4 weeks ago
 
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Things that most Chinese girls at the physical age of 23 are capable of:

 

(I say girls because most 23 year olds I have met are the mental/emotional equivalent of most 13 year olds I have known in other countries.)

 

They are most likely capable of eating, shopping, texting, chatting online, watching endless hours of TV, sleeping endless hours and talking with their friends & family.

 

Not much else aside from that.  If you are lucky, they may have a job of some sort.  But that is mostly used only to help pay for their shopping habit, giving a little to their parents and hunting for a boyfriend/husband.

 

Critical thinking, cooking, substantive hobbies, logic skills, mechanical skills (even on the most basic of levels) or anything a westerner might consider a basic skill for mature growth will most likely be completely lacking.

 

And if you are talking about the 'physical' skills, laying there and not complaining too much would be about as much as you can expect on a basic level.

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7 years 4 weeks ago
 
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i don't agree with you John, you are wrong.

from what you said, it seems they don't have any good points.  they just eat sleep shopping...... life is not easy, how do you think they just do this way?

 

for sure there're such kind of 23 years old girls. but you must know there're more of 23 years old girls, they work hard to have a better future, try to manage to enrich their life.

 

 

"Critical thinking, cooking, substantive hobbies, logic skills, mechanical skills (even on the most basic of levels) or anything a westerner might consider a basic skill for mature growth will most likely be completely lacking. " this is bullshit.

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7 years 4 weeks ago
 
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depends on the 23 year old.  find students at 23 are very dependent and know very little about the basics. and can't problem solve worth a damn. 23 year olds how have been out in the workforce for a few years are pretty savvy. they will surprise you at times. then there are the do nothing 23 year olds. not in school or not really working just living off their parents or boyfriends. know nothing do nothing.

 

marina: you got it all wrong when you say it's the same in all countries. stop and ask yourself this. have you been to another (i mean 1 or 2 years) then you cant comment on what you dont know. in usa social development , problem solving, and thinking are stressed from very young. as a child gets older they slowly gain more responsibilities. (generally speaking) a 10 year old is allowed to choose some things in their life. a 23 year old in china can't even choose their husband. , field of study or job.

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7 years 4 weeks ago
 
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My girl friend is 34, I can't reason with her, she has those Chinese ideas instead of her own. We , foreigners, talk, argue, think for our selves but listen, sometimes there is a better way and we are open to it.

 My girlfriend has the common hobbies on a traditional Chinese girl, /woman QQ, phone messaging, at least she only has one phone. Other hobbies are TV, it's very relaxing for Chinese women, a total escape from reality into a trance. Then theres shopping and more shopping. Some times she goes out at night and cries 'brains, brains"

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7 years 4 weeks ago
 
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A 23 year old girl is capable of only two positions

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7 years 4 weeks ago
 
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Marina, there are huge differences between the way that children are raised and educated here in China and those in the West. Most of us commenting on here have lived in both worlds and see very clearly those differences. It does not mean that we think any less of Chinese girls, if it did a lot of the people here would not have married, as I did, a Chinese woman. How many other countries have you lived in, not visited but actually lived in. I am guessing by your comments none. I know there are always exceptions and when I say this I mean no disrespect to you or any one else, but most young women in their early 20s here behave more like children of eight to ten years younger in the West. I feel there are two main causes of this here one is education. Children are taught here to memorize things, not to question or think critically. this results in blind acceptance of anything they are told by parents or teachers or any other authority figure. This means they do not strongly develop the ability to find answers for themselves. The second is the way that some children are raised. I see a tendency to let children get away with anything purely because they are only children. By the time they grow into adults they still have a lot of growing up to do.

 

I love my wife completely but some of the things she says drives me mad. For example she says her family do not want her divorced sister to have a black boyfriend. When I ask why she just says all the usual rubbish about black people being smelly, dishonest and all the rest. She cannot, or will not see she is just being prejudiced. She also tells me about how older people develop arthritis and have to walk with a stick because they have touched cold water, despite the fact that a lot of Chinese wash up with cold water and therefor touch it every day. She still says cold water is bad and not to touch it.  The results of a lack of education and skills in critical thinking.

 

Compared to western girls, Chinese have a lot of growing up to do at 23.  You have fallen into proving this point yourself in the replies you have written. Simply saying the things you do shows a lack of thought. I accept there are exceptions to the rule but generally young Chinese women are very immature. 

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7 years 3 weeks ago
 
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That varies from 23 year old girl to the next 23 year old girl. Some 23 year old girls are studying hard and earning their masters degree or doctorate degree from a prestigious University. Other 23 year old girls are busy getting laid or trying to have a kid with a stranger at a club. You can't say that all 23 year olds are the same especially since their lifestyles will be different. Look at the spoiled heiresses Paris Hilton and Lindsy Lohan they acted that way when they were 23. You have Britney spears that was producing songs at 23 and was an icon for young girls. SO it varies!

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7 years 2 days ago
 
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Governor

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OMG..HOPEFULLY some maturity and not acting like a childish idiot!!!!!!!!!!! Well said Tom!!!!!!!!!!!! It's the same for many young South Korean females as well! :( "cold water is bad." That is not only strange but assinine thinking! :( 

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7 years 2 days ago
 
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We all have our ideas of what a 23 year old girl/woman should be capable of... But i think the question is cultural. China seems has a big potential. But to use it, it needs people that will be able to think freely and for themselves. What i hear more is stories of how a traditional chinese girl is, and the some remarks made here, prove that. An independent woman is much appreciated in a normal society (there are exceptions and we all know that). Here it seems that a woman lives for the man. BORING!!!! They need to grow up mentally, but i guess it's not on the interest of everyone to make sure that this happens...

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7 years 2 days ago
 
Posts: 40

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sorry pressed button twice Smile

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7 years 2 days ago
 
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