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Q: what you think a 23 years old girl shall be capable of ?

what kind of qualities,habits,hobbies do you expect in her to have? answer in general and realistic sense ?

11 years 46 weeks ago in  General  - Qingdao

 
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I really will not get into specifics, I do not think is the answer you are looking for.  But in general, I would say that she should know enough to take care of herself in every aspect of life.  In my eyes she is an adult, and as such should function as an independent self sufficient person.  That is my opinion, but I may be bias, since I left my home at 16 and lived on my own since then.

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11 years 46 weeks ago
 
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Well, first of all, at 23 you are no longer a girl, you are a woman (or young lady). And as a 24 year old woman, I guess it's best for me to answer this. Like Happy said, you should be able to take care of yourself in most aspects. If you need help sometimes, it's ok to ask for it, but you should be able to do normal things on your own (like cooking some food, laundry, cleaning, buying things that you need). You should have a stable job, or if you are still in school, do well in your studies. You should be thinking about your future and make some goals. You can have any kind of hobbies you want, but you should have at least one. Watching TV and sleeping are not hobbies. And even though this is not really an expectation or a requirement, I suggest that you save some money for future emergencies. As for some qualities, I think being thoughtful/considerate, empathetic, curious, and motivated are good, as well as having the ability to problem solve. But you either have certain qualities or you don't, and honestly, I'm not very motivated, but I keep trying.

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11 years 46 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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The things Jnusb said are all good, but the only two things I would add is really being self-supportive in all things. At 23 you are not a child, you should be able to either do everything for yourself, or know who to go to to get those things done, and that does not include running to mummy or daddy. Also to be able to think problems through to a solution. Irrespective of what you may have been told in the past there is usually more than one way round most things, although there are exceptions. I have found most young Chinese to be quite immature. If this does not apply to you, sorry, I am just saying what I have found generally. Develop a sense of independence.

 

Lastly are you asking the question as a young man finding a girlfriend, if so just accept that everyone is different. We all have our own strengths and weaknesses, just accept if you do not match put it down to experience and move on, it is no-ones fault. If you are a young woman, it sounds as though you are trying to match up to some preconceived idea of young womanhood. Again as I said above develop a sense of independence and do not just follow what everyone else does. that will not make you happy until you discover who YOU are.

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11 years 46 weeks ago
 
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Things that most Chinese girls at the physical age of 23 are capable of:

 

(I say girls because most 23 year olds I have met are the mental/emotional equivalent of most 13 year olds I have known in other countries.)

 

They are most likely capable of eating, shopping, texting, chatting online, watching endless hours of TV, sleeping endless hours and talking with their friends & family.

 

Not much else aside from that.  If you are lucky, they may have a job of some sort.  But that is mostly used only to help pay for their shopping habit, giving a little to their parents and hunting for a boyfriend/husband.

 

Critical thinking, cooking, substantive hobbies, logic skills, mechanical skills (even on the most basic of levels) or anything a westerner might consider a basic skill for mature growth will most likely be completely lacking.

 

And if you are talking about the 'physical' skills, laying there and not complaining too much would be about as much as you can expect on a basic level.

danielmarino:

Agree with you John, at least the girls I met in China are still kids at that age. 

11 years 42 weeks ago
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LAR:

Why are Happy,Jnus and Xpat being given sooooo many thumbs down? :( Sheesh!!!! :( * Have they just talked a bunch of gobblygook??!!!!! * I don't think so!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

11 years 42 weeks ago
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11 years 46 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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i don't agree with you John, you are wrong.

from what you said, it seems they don't have any good points.  they just eat sleep shopping...... life is not easy, how do you think they just do this way?

 

for sure there're such kind of 23 years old girls. but you must know there're more of 23 years old girls, they work hard to have a better future, try to manage to enrich their life.

 

 

"Critical thinking, cooking, substantive hobbies, logic skills, mechanical skills (even on the most basic of levels) or anything a westerner might consider a basic skill for mature growth will most likely be completely lacking. " this is bullshit.

Xpat.John:

haha, I was wondering how long it would take for someone to disagree with me.  :)   

 

​Yes, there are a lot of really smart, focused and mature 23 year old girls out there.  I was only making a joke about the typical stereotype that is perceived by most people.

 

Also, I am an old man.  Old people always see younger people as not as good as they were at that age.  ;)

11 years 46 weeks ago
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marina-1:

i don't feel it's a joke. then i'm right. John pog: what you said not only in china. all of the world.

11 years 46 weeks ago
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nevermind:

No, Marina 23-year-old Chinese girls are especially useless.

11 years 46 weeks ago
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TedDBayer:

I think women here are anemic. My GF is 34 and she can sleep til noon. I can stay up really late and don't sleep til noon or nap. She's nota good cook. I put this to laziness. I like to be doing things, I like to cook, so I'm a god cook. I'm always working on something at home, heck I built the house on evenings and weekends. When my brother in law visits every long weekend, he watchs TV while I build a deck or a shed or tear apart an antique car. I always busy working because I like it or I help others. He is just so lazy it doesn't occur to him to offer to help. Complains if I ask for 10 minutes. He does nothing at his home. I think he's part Chinese now.

11 years 46 weeks ago
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derek:

Marina, we are not making this stuff up. If you choose to have an all out debate on this you will get bombarded with hoards of real life examples as to why we hold the beliefs we currently do. I contend it goes even deeper than you think. In my experience it's not that they can't take care of themselves so much as the fact that they have no idea that they even think they need to. Mommy and daddy have seen to that and consequently have created the monster, so to speak. Unaware and oblivious are a couple of adjectives that come to mind to describe the average 23 to 25 year old Chinese girl.

11 years 46 weeks ago
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xunliang:

marina, let me stop you there. You're still new to this site and I suggest you just go away. You will not change our minds on any topics. Why? Because we're all adults with our own oppions and we (unlike the Chinese) we raised to have our own views and oppinions. Coming on this site telling us we're wrong and that China is amazing and its us thats the problem; is that going to solve anything? Already noone listens to you. You can't brainwash us into thinking we're wrong about China!

11 years 46 weeks ago
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marina-1:

hi, guys. example, you can walk when you are just born? you're not a novice on any thing? oh, what a genius! do you have this right tell me go away? and i'm not try to change any of your minds. just when you're wrong, you are wrong. did i tell you how amazing china? and here is all your experiences. you can not have this kind of experience then you deny all the people. and it dosen't matter that guy said about me, bcz i have my own good life. i do a good job. and i'm not useless. just find out, here're very low quality people, it's just waste my time. good luck to all of you!

11 years 46 weeks ago
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nevermind:

She's also proving westerners are smarter than her again.

11 years 46 weeks ago
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marina-1:

From the people answering me - number and frequency of postings and almost same people online anytime day or night - I realize that they are frustrated people. Do they know real China ? Real Chinese girls are living outside of the big cities. Most of Chinese girls 23 years old have already a family and responsibilities at that age. Don't offer examples with Chinese young ladies looking for foreigners whom you were meeting just looking for hookers...this is an evidence of the quality of women you are looking for and of your own quality. Have you considered the reality of young 23 years old ladies in the western countries ? Many of them have problems with drugs, are low or superificial educated, have a very libertine behaviour to say it in a decent mode. I consider that I explained my point and I will not wait for answers from the adepts of Onan waisting all time online....I have more important things to do in my life. Good bye and good night "ladies" !

11 years 46 weeks ago
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GuilinRaf:

The average 23 year old here, has the same independence and maturity of a 13 year old kid (male or female) back home.

In fairness, it is not their fault, since all ltheir lives they have had people doing everything for them:parents, grandparents, teachers, etc. They have an extended childhood. Just take a look at the university kids!  Today, I gave final exams to my post grad students and one student was absent so she got 0%.

Well, About 20 minutes ago, I got a call from her, demanding that I give her the test. When I asked why she was absent, she said she "needed her rest" and wanted to take the test now. I refused. Then she asked, why didnt I go to her dormitory to get her if I was not going to let her take the test later (???!!!).

I just hung up and remembered this thread.....

11 years 45 weeks ago
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LAR:

marina..NO, YOU ARE WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!! Go live in some Western country's/country and you will find out how wrong you are!!!!!!!! Break out of the close

minded,arrogant,nationalistic,xenophobic shell of China!!!!!!!  * You will see a WHOLE NEW WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! * NO, YOU talk bullshit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :( 

11 years 42 weeks ago
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danielmarino:

Ok, Maybe LAR went a bit off but at some point it is true. 23 y/o ladies in other countries are way more independent and have more life experience. Of course, China is a highly populated country and you will meet different kind of 23 y/o girls but in general I think they are more childish. 

11 years 42 weeks ago
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11 years 46 weeks ago
 
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depends on the 23 year old.  find students at 23 are very dependent and know very little about the basics. and can't problem solve worth a damn. 23 year olds how have been out in the workforce for a few years are pretty savvy. they will surprise you at times. then there are the do nothing 23 year olds. not in school or not really working just living off their parents or boyfriends. know nothing do nothing.

 

marina: you got it all wrong when you say it's the same in all countries. stop and ask yourself this. have you been to another (i mean 1 or 2 years) then you cant comment on what you dont know. in usa social development , problem solving, and thinking are stressed from very young. as a child gets older they slowly gain more responsibilities. (generally speaking) a 10 year old is allowed to choose some things in their life. a 23 year old in china can't even choose their husband. , field of study or job.

LAR:

Well said crim!!!!!!!!!!! Kudos to you! 

11 years 42 weeks ago
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My girl friend is 34, I can't reason with her, she has those Chinese ideas instead of her own. We , foreigners, talk, argue, think for our selves but listen, sometimes there is a better way and we are open to it.

 My girlfriend has the common hobbies on a traditional Chinese girl, /woman QQ, phone messaging, at least she only has one phone. Other hobbies are TV, it's very relaxing for Chinese women, a total escape from reality into a trance. Then theres shopping and more shopping. Some times she goes out at night and cries 'brains, brains"

derek:

Yes, yes, yes...I live this too.

11 years 44 weeks ago
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danielmarino:

Hey people, don't give thumbs down to Ted...he's just saying how his girlfriend is! 

People don't like the truth?

11 years 42 weeks ago
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TedDBayer:

She has 2 iphones now, my old iphone3 and she fell in love with my locked iphone 4, but the wifi and camera work. I don't care about thumbs down, some times i write a straight answer, sometimes a smart ass one, this is tongue in cheek.

11 years 42 weeks ago
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bonita8187:

just vote you up to balance your downvote.

11 years 42 weeks ago
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11 years 46 weeks ago
 
Posts: 149

Governor

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A 23 year old girl is capable of only two positions

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11 years 46 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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Marina, there are huge differences between the way that children are raised and educated here in China and those in the West. Most of us commenting on here have lived in both worlds and see very clearly those differences. It does not mean that we think any less of Chinese girls, if it did a lot of the people here would not have married, as I did, a Chinese woman. How many other countries have you lived in, not visited but actually lived in. I am guessing by your comments none. I know there are always exceptions and when I say this I mean no disrespect to you or any one else, but most young women in their early 20s here behave more like children of eight to ten years younger in the West. I feel there are two main causes of this here one is education. Children are taught here to memorize things, not to question or think critically. this results in blind acceptance of anything they are told by parents or teachers or any other authority figure. This means they do not strongly develop the ability to find answers for themselves. The second is the way that some children are raised. I see a tendency to let children get away with anything purely because they are only children. By the time they grow into adults they still have a lot of growing up to do.

 

I love my wife completely but some of the things she says drives me mad. For example she says her family do not want her divorced sister to have a black boyfriend. When I ask why she just says all the usual rubbish about black people being smelly, dishonest and all the rest. She cannot, or will not see she is just being prejudiced. She also tells me about how older people develop arthritis and have to walk with a stick because they have touched cold water, despite the fact that a lot of Chinese wash up with cold water and therefor touch it every day. She still says cold water is bad and not to touch it.  The results of a lack of education and skills in critical thinking.

 

Compared to western girls, Chinese have a lot of growing up to do at 23.  You have fallen into proving this point yourself in the replies you have written. Simply saying the things you do shows a lack of thought. I accept there are exceptions to the rule but generally young Chinese women are very immature. 

xerxes:

nice reply i like that

11 years 45 weeks ago
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crimochina:

answer of the day.

 

the cat sucks at selecting answers of the day, so i'm taking over.

11 years 45 weeks ago
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derek:

Great response...doubt it will have the desired effect however. We all know that your accurate logic will just piss her off and that's sad.

11 years 44 weeks ago
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11 years 45 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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That varies from 23 year old girl to the next 23 year old girl. Some 23 year old girls are studying hard and earning their masters degree or doctorate degree from a prestigious University. Other 23 year old girls are busy getting laid or trying to have a kid with a stranger at a club. You can't say that all 23 year olds are the same especially since their lifestyles will be different. Look at the spoiled heiresses Paris Hilton and Lindsy Lohan they acted that way when they were 23. You have Britney spears that was producing songs at 23 and was an icon for young girls. SO it varies!

fish79:

mattgaya you have some many profiles going now why in so many of them are you wearing a dress......something you what to tells us you big queen you!!!!

11 years 42 weeks ago
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LAR:

Hi mattaya,

                   You go now! ^^ Yeah, you're spot on..different 23 year old gals are doing their own thing..working hard or continuing their education,etc. "Other 23 year olds are getting laid or trying to have a kid with a stranger at a club." I'm just busting up!!!!!!!!!!..:)..

TOO FUNNY!!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!! :) lol lol. * I'm down with you about some gals getting laid, but I hadn't thought about some trying to have a kid with a stranger at a nightclub!! ^^ WORD!!!!!!!!!

11 years 42 weeks ago
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11 years 42 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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OMG..HOPEFULLY some maturity and not acting like a childish idiot!!!!!!!!!!! Well said Tom!!!!!!!!!!!! It's the same for many young South Korean females as well! :( "cold water is bad." That is not only strange but assinine thinking! :( 

Hypnos:

Hypnos is in fact a Greek god. The sleep god (hence the word hypnosis). But i'm not Greek. :) I just like the names of Greek mythology. Anyway I honestly hope things will get better in the mentality of both men and women (not only Chinese although i think in China there is a bigger margin of progression to be obtained).

11 years 42 weeks ago
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We all have our ideas of what a 23 year old girl/woman should be capable of... But i think the question is cultural. China seems has a big potential. But to use it, it needs people that will be able to think freely and for themselves. What i hear more is stories of how a traditional chinese girl is, and the some remarks made here, prove that. An independent woman is much appreciated in a normal society (there are exceptions and we all know that). Here it seems that a woman lives for the man. BORING!!!! They need to grow up mentally, but i guess it's not on the interest of everyone to make sure that this happens...

LAR:

"Hypnos"..?..that sounds Greek or something. Good comments. 'the woman lives for the man." * And, that really SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :( Don't even get me started on how MANY Western guys feel and think about Chinese men..and I'll add South Korean males as well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(:(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (No, I'm not talking about ALL S.K. and Chinese guys..some are alright.) 

11 years 42 weeks ago
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11 years 42 weeks ago
 
Posts: 40

Governor

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sorry pressed button twice Smile

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