A better question is, why are you all so quick to label someone as a troll/wumao?

Are you REALLY that jaded?

sadly after dealing with people like Creepy and Vicki all good will has gone out the window

so when you get posts that belong on a agony aunt  column you get the card you re delt

Some of the users, they might not be trolls, drainers, more likely.

Here's what drainers are:

· They tend not to take a real interest in you because everything is prelude to talking about them. This isn’t just when they have drama– this is whether it’s a good or bad day. They do the whole asking how you’re doing in the first or last thirty second to a minute of the call for instance and before you’ve really had a chance to say anything, they’ve swung back to what they really want to talk about.

· They might claim to feel badly about their draining ways… and then repeat it.

· You get the Ikea feeling – It feels as if you’re going round and round in circles either listening to the same thing on loop or feeling as if you have to talk about or explain the same thing again and again in one discussion.

· When they ask for stuff, they don’t take you at your first no so you can end up being exhausted from trying to politely but repeatedly declining them.

· They might do the crackhead thing of not coming correct by asking for what they want straight up and instead, they piecemeal the favour and so in effect drip-feed a request and then have the brass neck to be annoyed when you’re rightly annoyed about how the original request has ballooned.

· You get that held hostage feeling either because they keep barreling on when you try to end the conversation or because you hold you hostage by feeling obliged to take the call, continue the conversation etc.

· You likely feel resentful about the imbalance or the drain on your time, energy and emotions. Hell, you probably feel exhausted just thinking about them. Hell, when you see their name ringing on your phone or in your texts list or they’re making a beeline for you, you might even feel a bit queasy or just straight-up overwhelmed.

· It might feel as if they cycle from one drama to the next and that your role is to play armchair psychologist and/or rescuer. They seem to thrive on negativity or thrive on having a certain role.

· They don’t have ‘levels’. If you imagine drama and how you respond on a scale of 1-5, 3 being middle of the road and 4/5 being serious cause for concern, everything is a 5 or a 20… This makes it difficult to know what the hell to take seriously.

· They’re not keen on taking responsibility so even if they keep telling variations of the same story, just with different people, it’s everyone else who’s the problem. They also see it as your responsibility to make them feel better which is why they feel indignant if you won’t drop everything.

· When you have your own stuff going on, you’re met with tumbleweeds or dismissed with what can be a scary lack of empathy. It’s also possible that when you have an issue, they’re nowhere to be seen.

And here's what you can do:

Let them crack on with their stuff. Conversations with drainers are not about you providing a solution; it’s about telling them what they want to hear and/or letting them listen to their own voice. Listen with boundaries-don’t stress yourself out trying to find the solution or be the solution. “I’m sorry to hear that” or “I really hope you get it sorted soon… right, I’d better get going…” are easy replacements for trying to break your brain. Remember that you can be empathetic and supportive- honour your boundaries with compassion. They’re obviously going through their own stuff but don’t project or cross your own or their boundaries by making you responsible for changing their feelings and behaviour.

Also, the internet is not real. don't take things too seriouly.

this is the time of year when the site is trolled by bored chinese students.

even today there is a spammer hard at work (hello Bruce, aka Adayip), yet the admin is no-where to be seen (there's a surprise)

given the number of 'post and run' 'questions' is it understandable that many regular posters have a degree of cynicism especially when genuine questions are being drowned out.

very few of the new posters actually follow up when there are further queries for clarification, especially when there are flaky stories or posts that are questions only.

and these new posters greatly outweigh those who genuinly need help.

one thing i like about ECC is the support posters show each when times are tough, of the help and practical advice given.

equally when posters who usually are helpful, behave like an ass they will admit to having a BCD and that is understandable.

The trolls and butt-hurt make this site no better than Chinasmack

Happy Year of the Monkey all !

I am a troll apparently. Why so quick to label? There is a very fine line between free speech and bullying. I prefer to err on the safe side and go with the free speech option.