I used "Wo me lu la" which meant I'm lost! I guess they never could understand me....that's what I learned what to say from the book...but it never helped me out any.

When you get in a taxi and you ask to go to a place, but this place has more than one branch in the city and you end up a million miles away.

negotiating with massage girls is always an adventure. i was trying to tell this one girl exactly what  i wanted her to do to me and she  took the money upfront, kicked me in the chins then walked out. (she screwed me in the wrong manner)

Walked into a Cigar store and told the lady I wanted to buy cigars. When she said she did  not have any, I insisted that she did, she said no, I said yes....
Eventually i found out my mistake.  Instead of saying "xue-jia" (cigar) I said "xi-gua" (watermellon)!
I would have loved to hear what she told her husband that night...

A friend told me "打飞机" simply means to take the plane, back when I knew only the very basic stuff. You see where this is going.
What a douche.

Ok, well it's not exactly a mishap in Chinese, but I think it's close enough. I was hanging out with some guys, and one of my female students came with me. We were talking about Japan, and then she translated something that they said as "Japanese videos." And I was like "Yeah, I like music videos!" and then I thought about it for a moment, realizing that's not what they meant. I wasn't embarassed, it made me laugh. I guess I know now what young Chinese guys really think of Japan. lol