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Q: What's the funniest thing your students have said to you?
Reason I ask is the other day I was teaching a 6 year old one to one and were reading a storybook when we came across the word hollowed. After drawing a picture I asked him "is your head hollow?" (he's got the memory of a sieve), to which he replied, "No it's not hollow, I'm Chinese". Queue me LMAO! What's yours peeps?
13 years 2 weeks ago in Teaching & Learning - China
Not exactly what a student said, but wrote.
* On the concluding slide of one of my lectures, I wrote "Beware, the results obtained through XXX should be taken with a grain of salt".
* At the exam, I asked questions where the answer is not directly, verbatim written in my course materials. The students should make their own reasoning to reach a conclusion, using what was taught during my lectures. However, the students can bring any document they wish to the exam, my course materials included. So the examination evaluate what they could do with their newly acquired knowledge, rather than evaluating their ability to memorize things without capturing its meaning. I provided some training for this, and I explained that barfing the course materials could not be a valid answer.
* Several students did not get it. Some recopied verbatim from my slides, concluding with the remark "Beware, the results obtained through XXX should be taken with a grain of salt".
male student to me in class: "Would you like a snake?" He meant 'snack'
EDIT: or I hope he did !
Today, was reading a passgae with a sweet, shy 15 yr old girl who kept reading the word 'chalkboard' as 'cockboard'. I didn't have the heart to tell her it was wrong. I know I'm going to hell.
Talking about eating and dining habits, chopsticks etc
'I can use a 'fuck'. I assumed she meant fork instead.
I went to a conference where some students were doing a small presentation of their university majors in an English competition. A postgraduate student from Inner Mongolia was talking about his research project. He was working on a scheme to plant trees to stop soil erosion. He kept saying "break wind" instead of "windbreak" and it came out hilarious. He introduced himself as an expert at breaking wind. He also told the audience how much he likes breaking wind.
Scandinavian:
sounds like the guy is trying to help the planet but the emissions from him will do more harm than good
Rehearsing a play and the line was supposed to be "there is a very bad wolf in the Forrest"
But the kid said "theres a very bad wolf in the toilet"
To which i added he's taking a pee pee
Love some of the answers, you can't script stuff like this, particularly Kaiwen's.
The question was: 'What would you do if you had a huge amount of money?' After several answers like buy a new computer, a new house, 4 new computers, one of them students proclaimed he would buy America.
When you think about it, it's not really funny...
When Important become IMPOTENT and come in please becomes COME IN PENIS.. OMG.. Bee become Pee.
I had a Chinese friend over for dinner one night and we ordered pizza. I asked him what he wanted on the pizza, he asked for sperm. I freaked and checked what he meant; turned out he wanted prawns.
My english teacher friend told me this story.
He asked middle school students some questions such as
`What is your favourite animal? `
` What is your favourite food?`
etc.
One of the student wrote that his favourite animal is dog and his favourite food is also dog.Then my friend asked he student if the dogs are our friends or not.
He said that dogs are our freinds in summer but not in winter. So basically friendship ends in winter.
Not exactly what a student said, but wrote.
* On the concluding slide of one of my lectures, I wrote "Beware, the results obtained through XXX should be taken with a grain of salt".
* At the exam, I asked questions where the answer is not directly, verbatim written in my course materials. The students should make their own reasoning to reach a conclusion, using what was taught during my lectures. However, the students can bring any document they wish to the exam, my course materials included. So the examination evaluate what they could do with their newly acquired knowledge, rather than evaluating their ability to memorize things without capturing its meaning. I provided some training for this, and I explained that barfing the course materials could not be a valid answer.
* Several students did not get it. Some recopied verbatim from my slides, concluding with the remark "Beware, the results obtained through XXX should be taken with a grain of salt".
hmmm, nice question and it reminded me one of my student. when Paul walker (fast and furious) passed away in an accident. The following day one of my student asked me. Does God really need a driver that's why he took Paul walker away. i still remember this question......!!!
One of my students tried to say the word "faucet." He kept saying "fuck it."
I had a Chinese professor back home ask our class, "How do you get off?" The class started laughing. She was talking about public transportation of course.
In Egypt, I was reviewing World Geography. My question was, "what are the physical features of Central Africa?" One 6th grader raised his hand with confidence and stated, "they are all black!" I had to laugh.......
