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Posts: 1876

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Q: What's your definition of success?

Not necessarily a China-centric question, but something I'd be interested in seeing others' opinion about.

There's a lot of questions dealing with why we came to China, why we stay in China, what we do, etc., etc., and a lot of sniping at what we consider 'losers'.

So, my definition of success is Ralph Waldo Emerson's (although he was not the originator of the sentiment per se):

 

The definition of success--To laugh much; to win respect of intelligent persons and the affections of children; to earn the approbation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give one's self; to leave the world a little better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition.; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm, and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived--this is to have succeeded.

 

What's yours?

9 years 2 weeks ago in  General  - China

 
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Another year gone without having to suffer the horror of having to use a traditional Chinese toilet.

And the success just builds....5th year gone and I think now that I'm home free.

 

Sinobear:

I made it five years as well, it was a combination of a lot of gin and tonics after a huge meal (and long-island iced teas at TGI Friday's) that "broke the seal".

Spend more time checking my boots and back of the pants than the actual operation after using a squatter.

9 years 2 weeks ago
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mike695ca:

Whoa whoa whoa whoa, where is this TGI Fridays you speak of??

9 years 2 weeks ago
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Sinobear:

There used to be three of them in Beijing when I lived there and a Henry J. Beans but that closed.

GZ had a Hard Rock Cafe when I first moved there but it also closed. Paddy Field is still my favorite in GZ.

Paulaner Brauhaus is pretty much the best that's left and available in most major cities.

9 years 2 weeks ago
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9 years 2 weeks ago
 
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Posts: 1439

Shifu

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Catching a taxi at rush hour. Mainly.

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9 years 2 weeks ago
 
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Your baiting me arent you???

RiriRiri:

Into what? Making the distinction between a possessive adjective and a contraction?

9 years 2 weeks ago
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Sinobear:

Hell no, Vancouver (area) is the western-Canadian version of Toronto (the undisputed center of the universe as far as Torontonians are concerned).

I'm just interested in how our dysfunctional ECC family defines (personal) success.

9 years 2 weeks ago
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ScotsAlan:

But are you happy Mike? Are you really happy? Do you not yearn for the freedom from financial pressures that a layabout bum has? Ha ha... just stoking the fire in fun :-)

9 years 2 weeks ago
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9 years 2 weeks ago
 
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Another year gone without having to suffer the horror of having to use a traditional Chinese toilet.

And the success just builds....5th year gone and I think now that I'm home free.

 

Sinobear:

I made it five years as well, it was a combination of a lot of gin and tonics after a huge meal (and long-island iced teas at TGI Friday's) that "broke the seal".

Spend more time checking my boots and back of the pants than the actual operation after using a squatter.

9 years 2 weeks ago
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mike695ca:

Whoa whoa whoa whoa, where is this TGI Fridays you speak of??

9 years 2 weeks ago
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Sinobear:

There used to be three of them in Beijing when I lived there and a Henry J. Beans but that closed.

GZ had a Hard Rock Cafe when I first moved there but it also closed. Paddy Field is still my favorite in GZ.

Paulaner Brauhaus is pretty much the best that's left and available in most major cities.

9 years 2 weeks ago
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9 years 2 weeks ago
 
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Disclaimer : those are personal definitions, targets to reach yet unreachable, not the reality Tongue

Success at home : the wife and I are happy together, no sour grapes. Kids are maturing without too unnecessary suffering. Future is not all set and predicted, but it does not appear precarious. Good connection with the relatives.

Personal success : I can do things I coudn't before, I'm getting older without fear or new stresses. I don't get angry at myself for not being able to have this or that, either because I have it already, or I just don't real want it. I don't have some self-contradiction that cripples me. People I interact with regularly have mutual appreciation.

Success at work : things works as it was wished and in a reproducible, predictable fashion. No sour grapes with the coworkers. Customers are happy with our stuffs.

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9 years 2 weeks ago
 
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while Mr Waldo Emerson's belief. written down like you did it, is not exactly my beliefs or my goal... it is not far off. I am very happy in my life. I have 1 happy 21 year old kid. I have 2 happy step-sons, 1 happy step-daughter, 2 destitute kids in Mauritania that I send food money to. My wife is happy ( I think), last I heard. and better off with me here than if I wasn't here.

I am always laughing at myself, especially when I write gibberish on the computer..I believe in the good of people.... most people are good...  the news tells the stories of troubled people..    so go meet real people...... they are 95% GOOD!!!!!

 

Wife wants to move to a cheaper home ...  that would probably mean just a squat toilet and  5 flights of stairs ...  yes I can squat, and yes I could make it up them stairs and yes it would probably be good for my health and my bank account, but, yes BUT, what is success? Pretty damned comfortable where I am...  but it is a little too soft, (I am lazy) I just may give up the satellite TV and the elevator and the comfortable toilet for an impromptu exercise routine with the stairs and the squats. More money to give away, which does seem to be what I do with anything extra...  as long as I got enough food, smokes and beer...  all is good.....    roof over my head, bucket to catch the leaks... all good

Yes, when I was a busy workaholic, I used to make my $100,000/yr and spend it all then too.
Now it is a lot less and I am happier than a pig in shit.

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9 years 2 weeks ago
 
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Sinobear:

Does that include 'muff-diving?'

9 years 2 weeks ago
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diverdude1:

hehe... there too! but I hear some chinagirls a bit taken aback by it ~ :-p

9 years 2 weeks ago
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icnif77:

My ex too, buTT....different than your 20-nies: she liked when I was 'down', but she didn't like lips-kissing after. For a month!

Her English wasn't blast, so my conclusion for her hesitation was: 'Your lips are dirty!' 

9 years 2 weeks ago
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dokken:

Incif you can't go muff diving with a man

9 years 2 weeks ago
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meiduo:

Miss scuba diving!

9 years 2 weeks ago
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icnif77:

@dokken: 'you sound very experienced with men....'? Beside that, you should add 'comma' after my handle in your 'into men experienced' statement!

9 years 2 weeks ago
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9 years 2 weeks ago
 
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You're recycling?

 

Never mind, I like to 'stretch' my 'grey' from time to time. Let say, I read about that some 23 months ago?

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9 years 2 weeks ago
 
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To smile on a bicycle rather than cry in a BMW Smile

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9 years 2 weeks ago
 
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Living a good life would be my definition of success. It's a balanced combination of financial success, happiness, understanding/learning and leaving some sort of legacy. The definition is very malleable, as it should fit everyone's opportunities and priorities.

With relation to how Chinese choose to live life: The definition of success has been strictly defined as money, with a side-order of power for flavour. Whether it's attractiveness or corruption, if you don't abuse your skills to hoard more barter, you're not successful according to the static definition. Score is being kept. Chinese play at life as if trying to win a computer game. I'm a fan of those myself, but I wouldn't want to live that way in real life.

I'm reminded of some arguments I had on gaming forums, where detractors of a game and its fans would criticise the game for being unchallenging. The fans would say they play because they enjoy it, whereupon the Chinese - oops I mean detractors, would mock them for not sharing the same definition of a good game and a good player.

It was a single-player only game, by the way. Being *better* than others at a game that you play alone is about as pointless as the way most Chinese live their lives: You can value material goods and the face that goes with them, but if that's your only value in life, something important is missing.

Financial success: Money.
Happiness: Crying in a BMW - money.
Understanding/learning: Degrees bought with money to get opportunities for more money.
Legacy: Inheriting money?

laowaigentleman:

China is a nominally Marxist-Leninist state. How does it reconcile that fact with their status obsession which can only be tied to who they know rather than what they know?

 

They certainly don't care about actual skills or cultivating themselves.

 

I once needed change and went into the internet cafe near the university I was working at the time. A colleague of mine was with me. We walked in and saw a huge horde of the students we teach playing online games. It was immediately clear to us that these guys would be online into the wee small hours and they do this almost daily/nightly.

 

They like those strategy games, but to me, I can't get into any of the ones they like. I can't stand the red bar above the highly pixilated character jumping like a caveman who unconvincingly winces when he's struck with a sword twice the size of its wielder while a load of numbers block everything.

 

I like cool and original concepts of games. Here they all like the same thing remodelled. Who would have fancied that?

9 years 2 weeks ago
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coineineagh:

@laowaigentleman: Those aren't strategy games. they're first-person action games. and yes, it's insane to be playing such dimwitted games for hours. I play grand strategy games like Crusader Kings 2 or Europa Universalis 4. For hours, but those games need hours of focused investment.

9 years 2 weeks ago
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9 years 2 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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Building a naked gold statue of myself in the front lawn of my mansion. Owning a Mercedes amg. Having other people make money for me while I havevsome champers in the jacuzzi.

Now that might be a shallow minded view of success but you won't be saying that when you admire my golden schlong.

DrMonkey:

I imagine the statue slowly rotating non-stop with a small bzzzzzzzzz noise, and strong light spots lightning it from bellow by night. Along the path to the statue, you have real-size painted plaster statues of German sherperd dogs.

9 years 2 weeks ago
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coineineagh:

I picture the naked golden statue lurched hips forward, presenting the groin area as if to say: "everybody look at this." - and nobody interested in the unrealistically overcompensated schlong at all. And all your staff desperately holding in their laughter, because they've all seen your pockmarked @$$ naked.

9 years 2 weeks ago
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dokken:

@coin. i ll give a job polishing the statue. i d imagine you d be quite good at that

9 years 2 weeks ago
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9 years 2 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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Right now I'll consider my life to be a success if the spoiled ground beef I bought and ate (because I'm a stingy bastard) doesn't make me sick tomorrow at work. 

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9 years 2 weeks ago
 
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Further to my previous "success" story .... and seeing the "diving" thing here....I too like to dive, scuba dive, but just once in a while...every 2-3 years, I also like to go play Golf, ( I used to do it often), but it is not what I want to do ...  get a game in once every couple years is fine with me. 

Scuba diving and Golfing and Skiing are things i like to do...just not often. ..Hope to see you on the slopes some day..  it would be my yearly winter weekend getaway, not my lifetime passion.

A little gardening, ( my tomatoes and chilies need attention), cooking experiments, and internet  yapping all take time..

did I see something here recently about ADD (attention deficit disorders) .. that would be me... I like to do pretty much everything, for a while, and then on to the next adventure.

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9 years 2 weeks ago
 
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Success = getting better through an endless amount of failures. 

icnif77:

Like baby, when try to learn how to walk! surprise 

I always use that example with my students in China, to make them abandon 'losing face' thingy.

9 years 2 weeks ago
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9 years 2 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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To have some positive effect on the world. It need not be huge, but at least I want to do something beneficial to others.

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9 years 2 weeks ago
 
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Living to see another morning.

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9 years 2 weeks ago
 
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Well the key to happiness is balance. 

 

In order to attain success, you usually have to sacrifice some bit of balance/happiness that others are unwilling to do in various forms. 

 

It could be sacrificing time, morals or a bit of mental health for more money. It could be sacrificing time, your body and personal relationships for being a sports star... or time, relationships, physical health like a mad scientist trying to discover a new chemical or equoation. 

 

Therefore the formula MUST be (balance - sacrifice) (desire + support) = success.

 

Where's my damn Nobel prize!  

 

 

icnif77:

'Obumer' got one, if you're an 'merican you're very close?surprise

'I told u I was a trouble, you know I'm no' good.......already multiple winner tonight! Ladies&Gents: 'Miss A. Winehouse (on me iTunes).....'yes I've been black, buTT...when I come back....they try to get me in a rehab...I said 'no, no, no.......' A. 'WhiteHouse': 'Thank you! Thank you very much!'

9 years 2 weeks ago
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9 years 2 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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not having to ask this question for a starter being able to play golf 3 times a week travling when i feel like it and being able to drive and not drpendant on public transportatiin having what i want when i eant it just love living lifr care free and noy having to worry about money i do feel sorry sering all the expat losers i see in china only sometimes

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Answer of the DayMORE >>
A:  "... through ..."?  Only "through" comes to mind is "S
A: "... through ..."?  Only "through" comes to mind is "Shenzhen agent can connect you with an employer, who's authorized to hire waigouren ... and can sponsor Z visa." It's not like every 10th person you meet in Shenzhen's hood can sponsor work visa ...  The only way to change from student to labourer visa is just a regular way by: 1. Finding an employer, who'll apply for an Invitation letter; 2. Exit China and apply for Z visa in your home country's Chinese embassy; 3. Enter China in 30-days after Z visa was stamped into your travelling instrument ...As I am aware, you won't be able to switch to Working permit by remaining in China....,so make ready for a return to your home .... -- icnif77