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Posts: 1197

Shifu

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Q: What's your experience here with Western women?

I've decided to coin the term WWICS (Western Woman in China Syndrome). A white woman, British, saw me and my wife in the GZ metro. Out of nowhere she asked me if we were married. As if the rings on our fingers weren't obvious enough. She asked how many Chinese women I've dated, in a shitty tone of course. I told her I've only dated one. Then she proceeded to rant about how all the Western men here date the local girls and not expat girls and how it was hard for her to get a date with the local guys.

I told her that maybe instead of the Chinese men being intimidated by a "strong white woman" that she was just a bitch.

12 years 23 weeks ago in  General  - China

 
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That is exactly why I do not live in a Western country anymore, nor date a Western woman.  And in regards to those in China, I willingly allow the Chinese men to have their choice.
With all due respect, that is my opinion.

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12 years 23 weeks ago
 
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Honestly, I havent had any trouble with Western women here.  The only real "problem" I have had is that they are n ot interested im 43 year old men like me (I put problem in quotes becoause it is not THEIR problem, but mine!).  They for the most part seem to be having a good time here, especially if they are college students.  The older ones who are single seem to have some trouble in the dating department.  However, i have not seen the type that you encountered in the GZ metro.

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12 years 23 weeks ago
 
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Wow, I'm sorry you've met some horrible Western women. If I dislike them, it's because they give girls like me a bad name. I guess I'm not a normal Western woman anyway. The only other Western woman I have met since coming to this small city is a nice older lady who has been to China 10 times and is teaching English to doctors at a hospital.

People have always been nice to me here, and if I did see another foreigner dating a Chinese girl, that wouldn't upset me. After all, I want to date a local too, I just don't know enough Mandarin yet. As for sex, who gives a crap? I certainly don't, and if I was dating a guy who tried to pressure me, I'd just break up with him because I don't put up with that crap. I have never been the jealous type, and I can't stand catty behavior, maybe that is why I'm different? I'd rather hang out with guys than girls.

I'm sure you're just venting, but I find this thread a little offensive, just saying.

nevermind:

Not nearly as offensive as blind stereotyping that my wife is married to me just for money, or for immigration, which is what a lot of western women often accuse Chinese girls of doing.

12 years 23 weeks ago
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beaufortninja:

Offensive or not, it's true. Out of the 20+ Western women I've met here, all but one had a severe case of WWICS. Maybe it's the lifestyle that changes women or maybe the kind of life here attracts bad W. women. But I'm sure Jnusb, that you're a delightful person.

12 years 23 weeks ago
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nevermind:

I had a regular booty call with a western woman when I was first here, she often complained about western guys dating Chinese girls, like she had some right over us.

12 years 23 weeks ago
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Jnusb416:

My closest friend here in China is a Chinese girl. She wants to date and marry a foreigner. I actually think that's part of the reason we're so close, because we have something in common: we both want to marry someone from another country. Obviously in my case that means marrying an Asian. We can talk about that stuff without feeling awkward. So please don't accuse me of being "that kind of Western woman." I never have been.

12 years 23 weeks ago
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HugAPanda:

Nevermind... many of the men on this site say the same thing (Chinese women are only after money or a ticket out of China). It isn't just western women saying it... in fact, that particular sentiment has probably been taught to western women BY western men!;)

12 years 23 weeks ago
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nevermind:

AH yes, find a way to blame men, the calling card of the western woman.

12 years 22 weeks ago
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TedDBayer:

but as men we should know that we are always wrong, it's the universal truth.

12 years 22 weeks ago
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12 years 23 weeks ago
 
Posts: 24

Governor

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It's a shame that woman was so rude to you. As a British woman myself, I would not dream of speaking to someone like that. You are correct that she was probably just a bitch.

However, I don't think you can generalise and assume this woman represents all western women in China. Since coming to China, I have made friends with Chinese women, including some married to western men, and I really value these friendships. I certainly don't have any issues with Chinese women (or anyone else, for that matter)!

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12 years 23 weeks ago
 
Posts: 158

Governor

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I have to second "Happy ExPats" feelings.

However with that said, I rarely run across any western females unless I happen to be in HK, Shanghai or GZ for business.

I did meet a nice, older lady who I think was British in the subway station in HK. I ran out of HKD, my credit cards were back in China, the octopus card was sucked dry and I couldnt get out the station.   I had thousands of HKD sitting in my desk in China and was verbally kicking myself at the customer service booth for being so stupid. She overheard my problem  and  kindly exchanged some HKD for my RMB at  the current exchange rates, which saved me some time and trouble.

She was a real sweetheart and a classy lady. They just don't make them like that anymore! Smile

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12 years 23 weeks ago
 
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Most of the ones I met were fine, but I did used to know one that kept making snide remarks about guys having an "Asian fetish."

Which is odd. More than half the people on earth are Asian. If anything, western women would be the more strange and unusual ones, that would qualify as a fetish.

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12 years 23 weeks ago
 
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the western women i met were annoying but for different reasons they seem to think that just because we are not chinese that we are supposed to always hang out together. i really do understand how difficult it must be for them here, because my 2 years in hohhot were awful because it was difficult to date. some develop an awful attitude towrd the locals which is why i never want to be around some of the western women i met. life here can break your mental if you are not careful.

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12 years 23 weeks ago
 
Posts: 7

Governor

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Western Man married to and beautiful Western women. We have lived in china on huge Expat salaries for three years. I have a life style that most of the men here with there short sighted views could only dream of here and at home.

Xpat.John:

I am sorry, but what has this got to do with the subject being discussed?

12 years 23 weeks ago
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billingtonkat:

Clearly that my experience with western women in china is fantastic!!!!

12 years 23 weeks ago
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Xpat.John:

I run my own company, which does very well, and my Chinese wife is the General Manager of an international Pharm company. Your statement seems more like personal horn blowing then an answer to the original question.

12 years 23 weeks ago
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crimochina:

being open minded to the idea that people can date interracially is short sighted? believing to each his/ her own is short sighted? money isnt everything in life

12 years 23 weeks ago
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billingtonkat:

"I run my own company, which does very well, and my Chinese wife is the General Manager of an international Pharm company". I see it is OK to blow your own horn if your wife is Chinese my mistake.

12 years 23 weeks ago
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bennyfulltrack:

billingtonkat, for sure not ANY company will send you here on a huge expat packet. Definitely not with your attitude. The only way you can get here is swimming but don't forget to wear your inflatable swim tubes or you will not make it.

12 years 23 weeks ago
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12 years 23 weeks ago
 
Posts: 9

Governor

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I have to agree with beetle and jnusb416. The woman you encountered is not a prototype of western women in china.

I personally believe there are many foreigner males who are quite gullable when it comes to relationships and of course there are also chinese girls taking advantage of that.

I also believe that there are chinese girls truely falling in love with foreign guys and vice versa. Just like anywhere in the world. In the end you guys have to know what to go after. It is neither mine nor that British woman's business.

I see how it is easy for a western woman to get frustrated here in China. If I ever develop this kind of thinking or behavior I hopefully will notice, pack my suitcase and leave for another place to restore my sanity.

crimochina:

for any western woman feeling neglected a session with me on my couch would do the trick, or as many sessions as you need. i used to be a counselor until i got fired for sleeping with a client or 4 ;)

12 years 23 weeks ago
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HugAPanda:

Crimo, why, oh why, anytime a post is made concerning any kind of behavior concerning women, and question or comment made by a woman about anything, do you think your dick is the cure?

12 years 23 weeks ago
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xinyuren:

He thinks the joke is funny, but it has gotten really old.

12 years 23 weeks ago
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HugAPanda:

Well, it has gotten really old. And rather creepy, tbh.

12 years 23 weeks ago
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12 years 23 weeks ago
 
Posts: 7204

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Had the experience with the western woman not likeing me being with my Chinese wife and from a Chinese man
I was not as diplomatic as BFN

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12 years 23 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1197

Shifu

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I asked what people's experiences were with Western women. I wasn't saying Chinese women or Western women were better than the other. It just seems like most western women I meet here have a chip on their shoulders. 

philbravery:

I wouldnt say most It was just bad luck that the only other westerner in town that day was a BITCH that would have to wear a bone around her neck so the dog would play with her wich is pretty much what I told her at the time. you can geuss what I told the man

12 years 23 weeks ago
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12 years 23 weeks ago
 
Posts: 280

Shifu

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Blind stereotyping all western women as being these evil biotches is the exact same as saying all of your Chinese wives/gfs are with you for your passports & money . Both are ignorant, and I agree with Jnus, I find this thread offensive. It'd be like if I started a thread about western men wanting Chinese wives cuz they can't attract/buy western women . 

crimochina:

how is this thread offensive??? where did he say all western women are the same??? he is talking about his own experiences???

12 years 23 weeks ago
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xinyuren:

"Western women become racist idiots when they get here because the men are dating Chinese girls".   Sound familiar? That was a comment in this thread.

12 years 23 weeks ago
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crimochina:

then critic the person who made the comment not the thread, this is a good topic. one where we can all learn a little from

12 years 22 weeks ago
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MissA:

Crimo, I think Ichickman is right here... the question was led into by a story about an awful western woman and the question is an invitation to negatively generalise about us (the OP then proceeded to go from one women to "most' later.) It would be like if I started a question with a big long story about how this western guy was such an asshole and said this was my general experience of western guys, and invited everyone to share their experiences. Clearly, that would be a not so subtle invitation to trash you foreign guys, and I would get flamed for it.

11 years 50 weeks ago
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GuilinRaf:

Actually, I see this thread as a chance to disprove that "western women in China are b...".

True, they way he phrased it leaves much to be desired, but that is where we can come in and share experiences that prove  him wrong!

As Johnny Storm would say: "Flame on!!!"

11 years 50 weeks ago
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MissA:

Ahhhh, GR, to some extent that is what happened here, the sterotype being politely refuted, but then the OP described his question as having been hijacked by western women "with an agenda". FFS, we cannot win! Reason number 5398 why I drink...

11 years 50 weeks ago
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GuilinRaf:

Whats your poison? Mine is Gin & Tonic or Jack Daniels, neat.

11 years 50 weeks ago
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MissA:

Whisky it is; Balvenie, Laphroiag and Highland Park top the list... although I do love a good G & T as well. Oh, and wine!

11 years 50 weeks ago
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12 years 23 weeks ago

Before you judge someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way you're a mile away and you have their shoes!

 
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I haven't seen too many westen women, let alone meet them, but that may be because I don't hang out at expat bars that often. One lady I have met is from the island of Mauritius. She is very educated (she's a doctor) and has no problem with the whole western/chinese thing.

But, like I said, I don't get out much. laugh

lchickman:

Fyi Mauritius is an African country , not a part of the West. That's prolly  why she doesn't care

12 years 23 weeks ago
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12 years 23 weeks ago
 
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I have known many western women here.  Most are good people but there have been a few who feel it is their right to give you a hard time because you are with a Chinese woman.

lchickman:

yeah but I've totally met more than a few western men who clearly take advantage of the fact that Chinese women see their non-yellow skin as an upgrade . Still not a reason to generalize.

12 years 23 weeks ago
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nevermind:

How is that different from using your looks any other way? What are we supposed to do, not f&ck a chick because she only wants to ride us for our skin colour? "Sorry babe, this one night stand is a farce, it's just cause I'm white"

12 years 23 weeks ago
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Xpat.John:

Is my written communication that bad? Just where was I generalizing? Perhaps, you should lookup the meaning of the word. And the Chinese woman I was referring to, was my wife of (almost) 8 years, who by the way, is the only woman I have been with during my my entire time in China.

12 years 23 weeks ago
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12 years 23 weeks ago
 
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I've seen this kind of behavior everywhere I've gone. White women pissy with white men for marrying/dating non white women; black women, latino women, asian women... who get pissy at "their" men for dating outside of their race. I've met men like that too. It isn't uncommon, and it isn't always the men they get pissy with... alot of time they turn their sights on the woman.

However, anyone thinking all western woman are like that is generalizing , stereotyping. It's as bad as saying western men go to China because it's the only place they can get laid.  

Smart women (and men) know that if you aren't someone's type... it's a waste of energy and time fighting about it. 

kchur:

In any bar in Canada you can hear white dudes going "Oh f***ing (whatever immigrant group pissed him off today), stealin our women".

12 years 23 weeks ago
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HugAPanda:

Exactly. I was with a kiwi... a white, blue eyed, dark blonde kiwi... but because of his ACCENT, I got shit from a couple of guys for dating him here at home. The only crits I've EVER made about who someone chooses to be with is when there wa abusive, dominating, violent behavior involved, regardless of color. I did hear once that I didn't like my friend's abusive boyfriend because he was italian american. Huh?

12 years 23 weeks ago
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nevermind:

Kchur, I have no idea what you're talking about. I was born and raised in Vancouver, which is full of immigrants, and I've never heard a white guy say that. 

12 years 22 weeks ago
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12 years 23 weeks ago
 
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Well for university aged Western women... I've found that many arn't attracted to Chinese men (or at least the social maturity level that many of the Chinese men show).  With the limited number of foreign men that arn't just trying to get with easy Chinese women, I've created some very nice relationships out of the demand.

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12 years 23 weeks ago
 
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General

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I think smart Western woman realize that Chinese women are an attraction for Western men. Yes, many male loawai in China are only interested in Chinese women. Too complain about it is childish and stupid. The women who say "Western men only come to China to have sex with Chinese girls" are the most stupid!  Well, ofcourse, if a Chinese girl and a foreign guy like each other, ofcourse they should have sex!  It is natural to sex with your GF, Chinese or otherwise

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12 years 22 weeks ago
 
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Wow, for western men who met some western woman that turned out to be very rude, well sorry about that ( i am a western woman). But I can also say the same thing about meeting western men who also turned out to be be very rude. I do find this thread kind of offensive because there are people on here calling western woman bitches and I don't think it is right to call all western woman that, because we are not. I don't care if a western man is dating a Chinese girl because I am dating a Chinese man so it doesn't bother me. I do know that there are some western woman in china that complain about western men dating Chinese girls but I also know western men who complain if a western (white) girl dates outside of her race. So can I say all western men are jackasses? No, because I will not generalize all western men so please people don't generalize all western woman!

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12 years 22 weeks ago
 
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Sorry ninja but I have to disagree with your rational.  I would have to half hazard a guess and say you have issues with western women....I can see how some may have issues in this country, but I think this post is more about you stating how awesome you think you are and how most western women are jealous....nothing personal.

beaufortninja:

Nope. No issues with Western women. Some Western women with an agenda on this thread have turned it into something it wasn't. And the cat betrayed me by taking down my response. Nice.

12 years 22 weeks ago
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crimochina:

the cat takes sides in arguements. just because someone disagrees with what was said they will click "report abuse"

12 years 22 weeks ago
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thedude:

Ok fair enough. Maybe I got carried away in my response a little.

12 years 22 weeks ago
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12 years 22 weeks ago
 
Posts: 264

Shifu

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I'm chinese, I have a white female friend for over 3 years, she is a very good friend of mine, she loves helping people, she is a WONDERFUL person!

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11 years 50 weeks ago
 
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I have no experience with western women in China.  Sorry I couldn't contribute 

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11 years 50 weeks ago
 
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I just wish to clarify my reply way above.  It was given assuming a "romantic" interest, nothing else.  But I do happen to have some friends (and just a friendly interst) which are Western Ladies, some from USA. England and Australia, and they are extremely nice and helpful people.  They do live in China, and they do bend backwards if an ExPat needs help at any time.  As friends I have no problem with any of them.

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11 years 50 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1084

Shifu

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Most have been the confident outspoken type.

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11 years 50 weeks ago
 
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