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Q: When did you reach your tolerance level here in China?

At first we all accept to put up and deal diplomatically with what we call "cultural differences", then we realize that those are not cultural differences but pure stupidity from locals, especially toward foreigners.

Soon or late all of us will reach a limit after the accumulation of frustration when dealing with local Chinese, some lucky people will leave China before reaching this point but otherwise they would, this moment when we decide that we have had enough and now face them with their BS, going to (verbal) confrontation if necessary.

When did this happen to you? When did you tell yourself "I have had enough"?

4 years 25 weeks ago in  General  - China

 
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Posts: 1308

Shifu

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I find many things annoying and frustrating about China. I also enjoy many things about China. And then there are some things that frustrate me but I can see why China does them. I enjoy a good China bashing as much as the next guy when I see China do something completely moronic. But your types of questions come across as anti-wumao and just as loaded, which can also be enjoyable to read.

 

In answer to your question though, I have quite a high tolerance for bad China days and have not reached my breaking point yet. 

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4 years 25 weeks ago
 
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Yeah, I hit the breaking point very few times where I actually got upset or did things I wouldn't normally do in Canada. 

 

Like when a packed train full of people wouldn't budge so we could get to our seats. I decided it was AMERICAN FOOTBALL time and pushed like 10 people out of the way. 

 

Or when I semi-trashed a store clerk's shop for yelling at my wife. I was going to beat him up but my wife stopped me. For some reason the guy opened his wallet and was trying to give me money... as if I could be bought off lol. 

 

A few others times I just got mad and yelled a bit or something. Nothing too serious, or really just contributed to being in China solely. For eight years, I think I have kept my calm and cool decently well. 

 

I find that the longer you are here and get through the Bad China Days, the easier it is to continue to handle when you know how to avoid those situations or defuse them.

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4 years 25 weeks ago
 
Posts: 3501

Shifu

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I haven't cracked yet.  As oddly as it might sound to those of you who may think I'm a touch negative from time to time, I actually live here because I want to.  If I didn't, well....

Yes there's idiocy all around in day to day life but, in all honesty, it doesn't have much to do with me.  And the stuff that does is usually water off a duck's back. 

I just sound off on this site because I can.

Now I think about it, it's the stupid behaviour here that provides me the best entertainment.  Har!

 

 

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4 years 25 weeks ago
 
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I have approached the edge several times, but there is always something that makes me laugh, whether it is official stupidity, or a random comment in class.

being able to laugh at things keeps me sane - you can't make some of the things i see up angry

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4 years 25 weeks ago
 
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Nov 22, 2013, my GF pissed me off for the last time, I simply said ''Goodbye'' turned and walked away, then went to the airport, along the way I realized that I had forgoten to drink the bottle of Baileys that I forgot in my frig,,,, regets cool

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4 years 25 weeks ago
 
Posts: 235

Governor

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I reached my tolerance a while ago, and now I'm just kind of flying on autopilot. It's almost to the point where I've become oblivious to my environment. Yet, I have an an acute sense of dread that the physical and spiritual effects of living in a toxic, soulless and dystopic wasteland such as this will manifest themselves down the road. The money is no longer worth it.

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4 years 25 weeks ago
 
Posts: 544

Governor

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I handle it issue by issue. I don't tolerate people smoking in restaurants or other places indoors where I (or other people) have to breathe in their smoke, and will tell them to put it out (especially when there are "No Smoking" signs posted prominently. It's at the height of the "I don't care how my actions affect other people, because my enjoyment is all that matters" attitude.

 

I've also, on more than one occasion, stood in front of bikes and scooters who were wanting to run red lights. Physically blocking them is the only thing that will get them to obey basic traffic laws (and I probably ended up saving some lives, given how many of these people get killed from being hit by cars).

 

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4 years 25 weeks ago
 
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I can tolerate most things,but when I ride my mt bike to work and some idiot in a car almost runs me off the road,or some idiot on an electric bike rides on the foot path almost hitting my son I dont take that very well.

 

I cant tolerate smoking either in the gym or at work (kindergarten).

 

 

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4 years 25 weeks ago
 
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I'm with Sorrel on this one. I have approached the edge many times and sometimes all I could do was laugh. Other times I loudly tell myself to breathe and ask myself is this gonna me worth it.

 

One time I had my dog, who was a puppy a the time, sitting on my Ebike, with her leash attached, while I'm 1 foot away buying something on the street and a drunk man walks by, and apparently he's allergic to dogs, and he starts telling me to quickly leave, while he's sneezing. Well I'm waiting for his the shop owner to give me my drink so I can leave, but then this mthrfckr grabbed my dog's leash and knocked her off the ebike. I was so shocked that i had a 2 second delayed reaction as i stared at my scared puppy's face. Once my mind processed what happened, I took a step towards the man with only the image of his face smashed into the pavement, in my mind. My face was hot, and I said to myself "This is it..I knew it was going to happen..I knew I would get into a fight with one of these mthrfckers one day...NOBODY TOUCHES MY FCKING DOG!"  and out of no where the shop owner and her teenage daughter tackled the man to the ground, and they shop owner begged me not to hurt him and to just leave and apologized for him saying that he was just drunk. I did leave, it took me about a week to get over it, and part of me hoped I would see him again because i was still pissed. But I learned from this that my first fight, which is bound to happen, needs to really be worth. So my tolerance is quite high and I haven't completely lost it yet. Only the occasional "F-you's", "有病" and "神经病" thrown at stupid drivers on the road'

 

My friend visited me in the summer and her tolerance lasted 3 days when this man almost crashed into us and she threw a whole watermelon at him and knocked him off his eBike and into a tree. Considering we're both from LA, I think I'm doing pretty good. indecision

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4 years 24 weeks ago
 
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I tend to just digest the thing I don't like. A healthy dose of running, talking with my wife, playing ukulele helps a lot. But sometime, fuses are blowing.

* People riding counter-way and/or the walkway, foreigners included. In itself, it's a minor thing. It's the "lolololol I don't have to care, it's fine here" attitude that I have issues to tolerate. So a couple of times, I stopped them and told them it's not ok. I'm far more annoyed when it's a Westerners, who have strictly zero excuses.

* People letting their kids pee/poop, when there's a toilet a few meters away. I once seriously ranted on a woman. The kid was about 4, it was *inside* a museum, next to 4000 years old artifacts, toilets were very close with far enough indications.

 

* Smokers are the gym, smocking *just under the no smocking sign*. I pointed out the sign. "Hu, I'm not smocking, I was about to go outside" with the look of a kid caught the hands in the cookie jar >_<

 

* I got stupid remarks by people while I was running with my wife. Once, my wife went thermonuclear over construction workers calling her a whore. I called-off a few guys making fun of me, persuaded I could not understand.

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4 years 24 weeks ago
 
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Im getting better. Knocked out a few chinese over the years, been arrested. Need to relax. Gonna give myself a stroke.

Day to day stuff i have learned how to just avoid shit.

Only go to high level shopping malls supermarkets ect if my wife is with me. Im still not big enough to let any comments slide so just avoiding any farmers work well. We drive most places and the windows are tinted dark so we are usually in our bubble untill be arrive at our suitable destinations.

To avoid getting pissed and crashing into people during traffic i go to the far left lane and just sit there. I can be patient and control who goes infront of me and from there the attacks can only come from the right side. Been doing it for months and its been working great.

When something does happen that pisses me off i just make them more mad then they made me and bam! Im not angry anymore. If some guys have problems with me and my wife i call them gay and tell them to suck each other off and now they have forgotten about my whore wife. They are so mad. If they wanna fight im down. Hasnt happened yet.

Or when two large trucks drive side by side on the freeway going 40 ill find my way in front and slam on the breaks , they lose their minds and im not super happy.

Luckily things seem to be improving around here so im getting pissef less and less

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4 years 24 weeks ago
 
Posts: 421

Governor

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I reached my limit after about a year and a half.  Now into my fourth year, it seems I blow a gasket more often.  China is an exercise in 'how much nonsense can you tolerate.'  I do feel my patience has grown exponentially, but there's just so much a person can take.

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4 years 24 weeks ago
 
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if there's a routine to fall back on, something to feel happy about, a sense of security and control over your life, then it's easier to stomach all the "planned harmony without responsibility". i'm far more able to cope with china now than when i first got here. but as soon as my life takes a downturn, i'll have had it with this place.

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4 years 24 weeks ago
 
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Not exactly sure what it was......just a drip, drip, drip of small disappointments.

 

Being overcharged cos I is a laowai.

Being shouted at by taxi drivers outside the station every sodding day,

The gimp that tried to push through a 10cm gap bettween me and the door frame when i was getting off the train. (the otherside was free and clear!!!!!)

Not finding clothes that fit me.

All parts of the city looking the same. (apartment block, McDs/KFC, crappy mall...repeat)

Being pissed about at work by the management (most left and then weren't replaced so visa shit didn't get done)

Screwing my back up and having to go to hospital for a rubbish diagnosis (The traditional TCM guy actually got it right)

No work life balance.

Rat in the apartment 5 floors up.

Spring Festival being very boring and no as good as Xmas...

 

Drip....drip....drip. Chinese water torture!

 

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4 years 24 weeks ago
 
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I went skiing on New Years Day. It was an artificial field and all of the peasants were out in the legions.

 

I never tried skiing before so I was in a lane with learners - pretty much everyone there was learning.

 

There were people milling about all over the runway, not getting out of the way. Kids' parents and stuff running into the middle of the course.

 

To top it off, there were lots of thick people at the bottom taking photos, looking like the proverbial school yard paedophile. Not a good place to stand when people who haven't even taken a lesson in skiing are flying at you.

 

Don't even get me talking about the queue to the chairlift. You've heard it all before. If these people are the regular folks, I'd hate to meet the proper dross of this society.

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4 years 24 weeks ago
 
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When, after contacting the U.S. Embassy for help, I got knocked out, tied up, thrown in the back of a trunk, and taken to a nearby river for some good old-fashioned murder.

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4 years 24 weeks ago
 
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Do try and track down a copy of "Why China will never rule the world" by Troy Parfitt.

It's been a long time since I chuckled and nodded when reading a book....his tour is one long BCD.

Exasperating and funny at the same time.

Review from Amazon....

 

Having lived in Taiwan for 10 years and speaking good Mandarin, Parfitt is far from an oblivious Western tourist. In traveling through mainland China he's a far more serious investigator than the typical sightseer. He aims to check China's pulse, and determine if the country has superpower potential. When he talks to Chinese people, he tends to play hardball. Is there anything China has to teach the world? Parfitt feels that nobody has an intelligent reply. Does Confucianism offer anything of value to global society? What do people think of democracy? Independent thought? Parfitt seems to find none. Is there any basis for considering China a burgeoning superpower? The ugliness, poverty, inefficiency, and general ignorance Parfitt finds in city after city seems to say not. Actually, Parfitt finds very little he can respect in China, and he has no hesitance in saying so. His verdict resembles that of Bo Yang (1920-2008), who wrote "The Ugly Chinaman and the Crisis of Chinese Culture." And Bo was downright disgusted by most of his countrymen or women. Under such criticism, the whole notion that China has a great civilization starts to seem laughable.

For sure Parfitt is an acute observer and brutally honest. But a few questions came to my mind. Concerning Confucius, didn't he spend his career challenging the morality of abusive rulers? Doesn't that suggest there is more to Confucianism than blind obedience to authority? Also, at one point Parfitt expresses relief and surprise to have a normal pleasant conversation with a woman in a tea shop--a woman who doesn't try to cheat him or sell him a "massage" in his hotel room. But wouldn't that normal woman be more representative of Chinese people than the hucksters who cluster around Western tourists?

Anyway, for those who like hardball tourism, this is the clash of cultures for you. The book has numerous well researched, extremely irreverent asides on the careers of major Chinese leaders. And Parfitt's tour encircling Taiwan is a highlight of the book.

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4 years 24 weeks ago
 
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