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Posts: 423

Shifu

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Q: When someone offers a cigarette, can you refuse?

What is it that when men meet you (man to man) they take out a cigarette and give it to you? Just not to offend anyone i take it, Can I decline the offer?

12 years 29 weeks ago in  Culture - China

 
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Posts: 5539

Emperor

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yes you can decline. it is a simple offering to be friendly .

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12 years 29 weeks ago
 
Posts: 791

Shifu

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Accept the cigarette. Put it in your pocket telling your offerer that you will smoke it later. Next time you meet somebody offer them one of the cigarettes you have now stored over countless meetings. You will make many more Chinese friends thus enriching your otherwise lonely life!!!
Smile

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12 years 29 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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Yes of course, I often say "no thank you I don't smoke" (我不抽烟, 谢谢), they understand...

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12 years 29 weeks ago
 
Posts: 650

Shifu

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No, u cannot refuse!
They will feel "loos face". It's very rude to do that……

Diaphane:

I would rather them 'lose face' than accept something I don't need or want and really have no importance whatsoever.

12 years 28 weeks ago
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12 years 29 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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Smoke it, it tastes good Smile

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12 years 29 weeks ago
 
Posts: 332

Shifu

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if you dont smoking , why you take it ? just like drink alcohol in feast, if you dirnk one cup, then they will keep offer you alcohol one by one. so just tell them politely that you can't smoking/drinking, i think a real gentle people will understand completely. Smile

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12 years 29 weeks ago
 
Posts: 461

Shifu

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Often people will tell you it's a Chinese tradition and that you have to accept the cigarette.

But like anywhere in the world, it's up to you to decide if to take it or not.

I sometimes offer a bottle of water to the guy who comes to fix something at my place, if he doesn't want it, I don't feel offended.

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12 years 29 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1008

Shifu

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If they offer a cigarette it should be taken. This is what I do, I carry a pack of cigarettes even if I dont smoke, and when i notice someone about to offer me one, i pull mine out and offer instead, doesn't mean you have to smoke it with them and at least this gets you out of being offered a cigarette because at that time they would like to see you smoke it. And if you refuse, no worries it's not part of their tradition and unlike what Wenna stated, they do not feel as if they've lost face.

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12 years 27 weeks ago
 
Posts: 960

Shifu

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I dont smoke and always just smile and say no thanks. It's never a problem as they understand you are a non smoker. I think Wenna has very little understanding of what really goes on.

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12 years 27 weeks ago
 
Posts: 371

Shifu

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I have tried to refuse, oh so many times. Unfortunately they leave me no choice. Twice I have stopped smoking in China and twice I have fallen due to pressure from Chinese men not wanting to lose face. Even if I am smoking they offer me one and I am forced to save it until I have finished.

Wenna, as usual is wrong. This time she has made it obvious that she is only here for the hype and to laugh at our responses.

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12 years 27 weeks ago

Tired of dirt and lies.

 
Posts: 73

Governor

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It's not rude at all,what if you reverse it and you are the smoker would it be rude for you to not offer, My cigs are my cigs

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12 years 20 weeks ago
 
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I happen to agree with Wenna.  I just take the cigarette, take a puff and then continue holding it while talking. It burns out on its own.  I used to be a heavey smoker for more than 20 years and quit in China three years ago.

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12 years 20 weeks ago
 
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I say no sometimes but for different reasons.  Usually I have just finished lighting my own when someone hands me one.  Sometimes I will take it and hold it until I am ready to smoke it, other times I say no thanks.
My collegue when he visits here is offered all the time, and as a non smoker always refuses and no one seems to care.
I have a question...do they get offended when I light a smoke and don't offer one to everyone else?  This is something I am not used to doing at home, and rarely do here.

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12 years 20 weeks ago
 
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