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Posts: 26

Governor

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Q: Which aspect of Chinese society do you find most difficult to accept?

We're all living in another country, so it's our job to adapt, but which aspect of society or culture here do you find most difficult to accept?

11 years 36 weeks ago in  Culture - China

 
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Posts: 2186

Emperor

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Driving etiquette, or total and utter lack thereof!

Last time I was in a place where the driving habits were this dangerous people were shooting at me!

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11 years 36 weeks ago
 
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The "no one but me and mine" point of view.

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11 years 36 weeks ago
 
Posts: 902

Shifu

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For me it is a few things,

1. The total lack of empathy towards their fellow humans,

2. The closed minded bigotry that says China is wonderful everywhere else is crap,

3. The dishonesty in all its forms, from high level corruption to the old woman in the street  who tries to rip off the person who helps her.

4. The total lack of logic at times.

5. The un-professionalism shown by companies, doctors and just about anyone.

 

Having said that I enjoy my life here and I have met a lot of really nice Chinese people, a few of who are now good friends. I was saying to my wife the other day that in some ways China seems split down the middle, on one side you have the people who are good people and on the other you have everyone else. There doesn't seem a lot in the middle, and she agreed with me.

Hugh.G.Rection:

I understand, and largely agree, with your point. I have developed my own theory on this point. I think it may just come down to, most (obviously not all) Chinese are very nice to people they know, and very nasty to people they don't know.

Therefore, the people you 'know' are great friends, and everyone else appears to be a rude, arrogant ...... (insert favourite adjective here).

11 years 36 weeks ago
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mowenting:

I  agree with all of this, it's kind of weird at times living in a country that can be simultaneously so overwhelmingly welcoming and uncompassionate.  

11 years 36 weeks ago
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woody:

Very much agree with what you say. When I think about why I enjoy the time I get to spend in China one of the main things that keeps comming into my thoughts is the incredible contrasts in akmost everything. The old and the new, the rich and the poor, the dishonesty of many and then the increadible honesty of some, the very bad manners and the very polite. The ugly to the extreme and the breathtakingly beautiful. Your observation is just another example of this. In Australia things are more to the middle of the road (if I can put it that way). It is one of the great traits of my home country but while this makes for a very comfortable and secure life and will always be my home I love to break it up with the excitement, frustration, wonder, shake my head in amazment things that occur on a day to day basis in China. I am very lucky to be able to move between the best of both worlds and hope this continues.

11 years 14 weeks ago
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11 years 36 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1201

Shifu

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The fact that i am in a society that will never accept us to be like them.....and we will always be the 'laowai' to them whether we live a year or a decade or a century here.......will never make a difference to them

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11 years 36 weeks ago
 
Posts: 277

Governor

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  Most of China's shortcomings, in my opinion, are rooted in economics. The rat race effects people in every country of the world, whether it's in the form of violent crime, theft, corruption, or whatever.

  In the west our needs are not so pressing as they are in much of the 'developing world', so we're given space to make refinements to matters of social etiquette (holding doors for people and such), and then convince ourselves that these are the mark of the truly civilized.

  If people cheat it's because they feel driven to do so; it's common most anywhere where money is wanting. Selfish behaviour in general is natural when one's priority is driven by a need to feed and shelter oneself - all the niceties that we value so highly in the first world take a back seat.

  My answer to your question of what I find most difficult to accept however, is the negative view that the Chinese take towards victims of sexual abuse. Victims of abuse are deemed 'dirty' and I find this deeply offensive. Maybe this can also be explained away as being rooted in economics, in that sexual abuse carries with it the risk of STDs and the financial burden of dealing with them, but i'm not 'that' forgiving - it is one area where I see red before I bow my head in understanding forgiveness. It is an attitude that stinks.

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11 years 36 weeks ago
 
Posts: 583

Shifu

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Their ability to eat anything...

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11 years 36 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1142

Shifu

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The Chinese are amoral. What is good is what ever is good for 'them' right now. This is sometimes called ethical egoism. Traditionally the west has NOT been guilty of this view point. Ethical egoism explains the lack of interest in charity, volunteerism, and the marrying for money. It also explains the rampant cheating in all areas of life

-However, increasingly, I find Americans are also believers in ethical egoism. The most recent rash of financial scandals is a good example of self-interest at the expense of truth.

 

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11 years 36 weeks ago
 
Posts: 49

Governor

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The "face" concept.

derek:

I totally agree. They have taken "Face" to a whole new level that is very hard to deal with sometimes. Especially when is comes down to the fact that they all know what's happening and continue to do it anyway. Where's the progression there? It's like you are not allowed to tell the truth for fear of hurting someone's feelings. HURTING SOMEONE'S FEELINGS? How thin skinned must one be when that becomes the moral code of an entire nation? Better to lie even though they all know it's a lie. That way they can feel good and can go on with their day. Like ostriches with their heads in the sand.

11 years 36 weeks ago
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11 years 36 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1090

Shifu

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ALL of the points that have been mentioned here and...

 

1. The racism.

2. The lack of manners and civility. Rude and disrespectful behavior.

3. Being stupid,ridiculous and head up their a** arrogant!!!!!!!!!!!

4. The ethnocentrism..I'm throwing up now!!!! :(

5. The xenophobia.

6. Horrible service at many different businesses!!!!

7. The lack of cleanliness and hygiene. Shock Yuck!!

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11 years 36 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1090

Shifu

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The absolutely shitty,disrespectful,rude,obnoxious and arrogant attitude that is SO PREVALENT!!!!!!!!

Xpat.John:

So many strongly unfavorable comments about China & its people.  I know it is cliche to ask, but why stay in a place you obviously dislike so much?

 

I mean, we all (myself included) have aspects of China we don't like and the given BCD, but you seem to be brimming over with detest for China.  That just isn't healthy.

11 years 14 weeks ago
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11 years 14 weeks ago
 
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The nosiness, lack of personal space, gossip and staring. The often irrational ideas. The thought that I can not trust most people. I think they need to drop ''face'' and learn to use ''the force''.Unfortunately with this many people the dark side may be a real problem.

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11 years 14 weeks ago
 
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I'm most troubled by the lack of regard for others and the obsession with iPhones and iPads.

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11 years 14 weeks ago
 
Posts: 960

Shifu

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Face. This would be a wonderful trait if people gained "face" by being honest, compassionate, ethical etc. The problem is in China you gain face by hiding your bad traits, flaunting your possessions,lying, never admitting mistakes,never being honest and saying what you really think, spending money for gifts, meals etc for others who may not deserve said things.

 

 

 

  

MissA:

I agree wholeheartedly. The concept of face - as a highly evolved metaphor for social standing - is a wonderful one, but its application in China drove me insane.

 

Thailand's concept of face was more to my liking, although it has its pitfalls as well.

11 years 14 weeks ago
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11 years 14 weeks ago
 
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If you had to leave China because you were deported or forcibly removed for a visa infraction, please place a down vote here.

mattsm84:

If this hit's 8 down votes it means that number's father is also his brother.

11 years 14 weeks ago
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bill8899:

Looks like your 5 is under.

11 years 14 weeks ago
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mattsm84:

Wow. Seven before lunch. Anyone have any guesses as to how high the number might climb? We'll probably hit double digits before dark. But does anyone think it'll get over 20? 

11 years 14 weeks ago
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11 years 14 weeks ago
 
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