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Q: Why are cousins called sisters, friends called sisters, cousins called aunties etc.?

Ayi, Bebe, meimei, didi, gege, soso, wa gong, wa po, soso, nai nai, laozi.......probably all spelt wrong, but it's taking me over 4 years to remember everybody's 'name', however I'm still to this day finding out that not all is as it seems.....e.g. your cousin is not your sister (this example is for illustrative purposes only......I know who my wife's siblings are!!! Smile),  or your 3rd cousin is not your great uncle!!

 

So back to the point of the question, has anyone else noticed that people are often assigned the wrong 'names' as such, and if so does it mildly bug you or is it just me!!??

11 years 24 weeks ago in  Culture - China

 
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Posts: 4397

Emperor

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  I think it's just you mate. No idea why family members who are actually more distant are made more personal, like a cousin being called a brother. My young students call me uncle, brother, just as long as they don't call me a foreign devil I think it's rather nice. Maybe the one child policy had something to do with it: maybe less and less people actually having brothers caused them to extend their immediate families in a way. I kind of like it. Although i'm not about to start calling 'my' cousins 'brother'. Bunch of lunatics with shotguns and tattoos on their faces, I just call those guys "Oi." And it's usually followed with "Get off my damn property!"

Sokie:

Not the one child policy. We had it in the history. now we still have it.

11 years 24 weeks ago
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snowballeffect:

The one child policy as a cause of this 'phenomenon', right or wrong that was my initial unsophisticated thought on the matter, i.e. cousins and friends used as substitutes for brothers and sisters.

11 years 24 weeks ago
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11 years 24 weeks ago
 
Posts: 583

Shifu

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The same like..your Mother's brother is also Uncle..Your Father's Brother is also Uncle..and so on..

stan118:

well not in china, your fathers older brother and younger brother both have different names, same goes for your fathers older and younger sister, and thats just one side, your mothers side have all different names

11 years 24 weeks ago
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Sokie:

No, in Chinese we don't call mother's brothers uncles. We call mother's brothers JiuJiu. We call father's brothers uncles. It's just you don't have the equivalent words for JiuJiu in English, so we use uncle.

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I think it's just that in China, people feel close to their family, no mater how "distant" their relatives are. Sometimes they call their friends sisters or brothers...well, wouldn't that mean they feel close to them, as if they were related? Sometimes we say that back home too, "my friend is like a sister to me." We just have a different way of calling people, usually by a nickname or their real name.

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11 years 24 weeks ago
 
Posts: 163

Governor

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Because China is just one big happy family(ok, not so much). Not only do they call more distant family members by these names but also when talking to total strangers. They will address the person based on the age(or perceived age) of the person they are talking to. If they look to be the same age generally as their parents they call them aunt/uncle, if they are in the age range of their grandparents they will call them grandma/grandpa, if they are about the same age then sister/brother, a little older or younger then older sister/brother, younger sister/brother.

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11 years 24 weeks ago
 
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I think it is because they are all HanTsu. really, when you get down to it,,,,, how different is one Han from another on a biological level? I think they are on their way to becoming a 'collective organism'.

(Bee, Termite, Coral, etc.)

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11 years 24 weeks ago
 
Posts: 86

Governor

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Actually I think it's English that makes people confused when you say cousins. When you say" my cousin", I don't know it's female or male, older than you or younger than you, paternal or maternal.

      In Chinese,  we call big sister jie jie, young sister mei mei, big brother gege, young brother didi.

" tang jie" ( female cousin who is older than you, your father's brother's daughter). " tang mei"( female cousin who is younger than you, your father's brother's daughter). " tang ge"( male cousin who is older than you, your father's brother's son).                          " tang di" ( male cousin who is younger than you, your father's brother's son)

"biao jie"( female cousin who is older than you, she can be  a daughter of your mother's sister or brother,  or a daughter of your father's sister)

" biao mei( female cousin who is younger  than you, she can be a daughter of your mother's sister or brother, or a daughter of your father's sister)

"biao ge" (male cousin who is older than you, he can be a son of your mother's sister or brother, or a son of your father's sister)

" biao di"(male cousin who is older than you, he can be a son  of your mother's sister or brother, or a son of your father's sister)

 

 

We don't call all " uncles" and " aunts"  uncles and aunts. We have exact names for them in Chinese,  when they say " shen shen" I know  it's my father's young brother's wife. And we have a different name for my father's big brother's wife. And the same, we have exact names for mother's elder brother's wife and young brother's wife. 

 We have different names for father's elder brother and young brother, different names for mother's elder sister and young sister...

 

In Chinese,  the " Guan  xi"( relationships) is very clear.  When you say " ye ye", I know it's my father's father. Grandfather, in English, you have to use paternal or maternal so that I know who exactly you are saying.

   There is so much to say in words of Chinese relationships, Chinese Guan Xi. It's very sophisticated.

  In English, you don't have the equivalent words for them. So, We use uncle and aunt for all those words. English is vague in this part.

For strangers we meet,

it is a deeply complex issue based on social rank, age and whether or not there are familial links. 
 
We could not put English meanings on Chinese words not should Chinese meanings be put on English words.

 

Sometimes the meanings are gone  when you translate.

snowballeffect:

Thanks for that Soki, but that still doesn't explain why one would want to call their cousins and friends sisters, 3rd cousins great uncles, and random people ayi etc. Surely by applying these 'names' seemingly arbitrarily it lessens the significance of the relationship with your real sisters, aunties etc.?

11 years 24 weeks ago
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thedude:

Wow...it all makes sense now.  Thanks Sokie.

11 years 24 weeks ago
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Sokie:

You are welcome, both of you.

11 years 24 weeks ago
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snowballeffect:

Renshi ni hen gaoxing Sokie

11 years 24 weeks ago
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Sokie:

indecision Glad to meet you here. I hope you have a pleasant stay in China.

11 years 24 weeks ago
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snowballeffect:

xie xie ni

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Thanks for that Soki, but that still doesn't explain why one would want to call their cousins and friends sisters, 3rd cousins great uncles, and random people ayi etc. Surely by applying these 'names' seemingly arbitrarily it lessens the significance of the relationship with your real sisters, aunties etc.?

Sokie:

They call them sisters because they want to sound  close,  close relationships.  Chinese Guan Xi is very complex.  As for the 3rd cousin, the great uncle, it must be

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Posts: 91

Governor

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It bugs me. I used to teach English and people were saying my sister and brother when thinking about their cousins. They are not your siblings, therefore do not call them your sister or brother. They are your cousins.

snowballeffect:

What annoys me even more is my wife's cousins even call me gege! As much as they're mostly nice people, I'm not your brother and really, could you give a sh*t if anything happenned to me, no, so just stick to my name, 'snowball'! lol

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Thanks guys

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Posts: 86

Governor

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You can ask your wife to tell any relatives to call your name.  They call you ge ge because  they are juniors to you in the clan. They just call you like that just to respect you and be polite. It's Chinese culture, you may not understand.

 As I said before, you are here, you respect the culture. You should tell you wife about this if it makes you feel uncomfortable.

snowballeffect:

It doesn't make me feel uncomfortable, and I do understand, it just mildly bugs me and seems a bit contrived. Because I have v little relationship with them it just seems a bizarre thing to do. As I said above, it seems to lessen the real brother/sister relationship if you treat everyone as or refer to everyone as your brother/sister when they're not.

 

On a side point, I think culture can very often be used as a excuse for bad behaviour or ignorance, but that maybe warrants another thread. Xie Xie Sokie. :)

11 years 24 weeks ago
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