By continuing you agree to eChinacities's Privacy Policy .
Sign up with Google Sign up with FacebookQ: Why are most Chinese women unable to grasp the concept of mutual sexual satisfaction?
Is this because of a broad level of Chinese male selfishness in the bedroom? Or is this a cultural issue I am unaware of?
13 years 5 weeks ago in Relationships - China
its a combo platter of reasons
This comes from many women i ve talked to: chinese men are awful in bed, lazy and selfish. I was told that after men hit 40 they usually stop having sex with their wives( some said 50)
plus women here are made to feel ashamed of their sexuality. when a young girl starts to develop breasts she wears clothes to try and hide them because "she would get made fun of" how backwards retarded is that??
in my limited experience here i noticed that most women here really dont know how pleasurable sex is supposed to be.
I must say the govt and culture here could teach the catholic church a few things about how to sexually oppress women
GuilinRaf:
They stop having sex with their wives, but what about the mistress?
Because they had no idea how fun it can be... they're used to it being 4 vinager strokes and finished...
Dude, there is no easy answer to this one but if I was a betting man I would say it's more to do with culture and a yet to happen but has to happen sexual revolution.
The Chinese women dress to kill and look fabulous. Dress like that in some western countries and guys take it as an invitation to harass. Chinese chicks can dress like they do because they feel safe. However, outside of how they dress their understanding and experience of things sexual is rather limited. They can look sexy, dress sexy, act sexy but actually being sexy in the bedroom (or wherever) they don't know so well. Government censorship over the years has not helped either. Also, whether this applies to MOST, or A LOT I don't know. You would have to survey at least a couple of thousand to get that statistic.
Procreation is the main goal of having sex and with a one child policy once the goal is achieved the fat lady has sung - it's over!! The concept of making love, rather than having sex, is not a really commonly accepted form of recreation.......yet.
While I don't advocate porn, I will say that a soft porn movie shown to a 30 year old Chinese virgin (male or female) would be a real eye opener!
I think that if you have a Chinese, or any Asian GF for that matter, and you are prepared to spend some time with them in exploring the finer points of mutual satisfaction in making love you are both going to eventually have a great time. Teaching this part of life sure beats teaching English too!! You will find it's like popping the top on a bottle of champagne with lots of bubbles still inside the bottle waiting to get out!!
Crimochina lays a bit of blame on religion but I wouldn't have thought Catholicism was that strong in China and it sure as hell doesn't affect places like the Philippines which is 90% Catholic. However I do agree that religion oppresses in things sexual!
Hope this helps answer your question.
Thanks for the imput everyone. The easy part for me has been teaching my new GF, the hard part for me is understanding why girls are like this here, as her English is limited, and I am not an English teacher.
Before I met her, the few encounters I had were disasters. Yes, as daqing devil says they dress to kill, flirt with you, play the part, until the bedroom, then they are lost (you want to do what????).
Unfortunatley for me, even though I am in Shenzhen, I spend most of my time in a small factory town where English speakers are rare, and expats rarer.
Cheers
Ahhh Crimochina,
Yep, agree with you on that. Misunderstood you. Got you now!!!
Dude, same here. Not a lot of expats and not a lot of English speakers.
On a small sample size of one I find the statement completely opposite of what i have experienced.
Okay, here's my 2 cents on this matter...
I have a lot of Chinese friends, mostly women. Not sure why, but I get along well with Chinese women better than Chinese men. Not because I'm a "playa" or anything like that. Not all laowais are perverts... I have some very good friends that I have had for years that are women... Chinese guys are always trying to impress me with BS like "I banged a 16 year old virgin" and crap like that, while the women ct like actual human beings.
Anyway, Chinese women are aware of the concept of mutual satisfaction. They desire it. Or at least they desire it for themselves.
The female orgasm was something "speculated" in western culture for a while and didn't really take hold like in the US until after the 1960's (sexual revolution).
It's no wonder China is behind on that.
Anyway, this is why I think there is an attraction to western guys. In the west, at least where I'm from, being able to give a girl satisfaction is paramount. Most Chinese guys have the "thrust, thrust, ahhhh, I'm done" mentality.
Also why most western women don't dig on Chinese guys.
Again, my 2 cents.
I agree with you.
I have only been here 8 months, but in my experience, most Chinese men are absolute pigs, especially towards women, with the morals of a rat. Granted the majority of the ones I know are business men. I get personally offended when I watch them treat women that way, but what can I do?
Almost all my friends here are women, as I get along better with them as well, strictly platonic.
Most of the answers have more than a little truth. I have had quite a few experiences since I arrived in China. I have a lot of lady friends also. I think the reason for this is girls tend to be more interested in english and communication than guys. Anyways here are my opinions as to the reason why:
1. Chinese men: The do NOT know how to make love or treat a woman. One reason is ignorance. Another is they don't care. They lack respect for them. Mutual pleasure springs from mutual respect.
2. Lack of education on the girl's part. I know a Chinese woman who was married, had a child and now divorced. SHE HAS NEVER KISSED A MAN! My god. A few of my friends told me they didn't like sex with their bf. After a "lesson" from me, they completely changed their attitude. Many Chinese girls simply do not know what sex really is (See reason #1). They don't know themselves or their bodies. How can they enjoy sex?
3. Finally, not all girls are ignorant and sex-deprived. I have found some girls know how to give and receive sex. They are the few minority.
I hope this helps.
I agree with xinyuren....
Chinese men definitely lack a huge ton of self respect and would like to add few lines to that along with what the "dude", said, they are worst than bigs...most of them are dirty..Women, in regardless to nationality wants their men to be clean, smell good and dress up good for them..Have you seen some guys with their crazy hair style!!!!...MY GOODNESS, they replicate japanese cartoon characters and they expect to get girls with that...?
When it comes to sex, most Chines girls are quite lame and miserable at some major moves that really heats up the mood such as a slow french kiss for a starter...I can't breathe...bad breath. or " hey, why are you biting my lips?" or " what kind of move is that?". I mean you don't an equal sexual combat..... a nourish flow of hand, a gentle stroke of lips and ooops.....flip...watch out for the armpit hair under her arm..hey, you're not suppose to have that. ..SHAVE THEM, will ya...moving on...stroke down and gently move your hands towards her entry gates and hey, why is it wet here and smells like a dead rat???. ..you are suppose to keep it clean or SHAVE IT OFF...
You won't see things like these from a foreign girl...A foreign girl would know from your face reading that you want to have sex and she'll be prepared, well scented, brushed, clean and READY TO GO
So yes, Chinese girls definitely lack of sexual education and FEMINISM...A man won't stand a woman acting like a man specially on the bed
PEACE!!!
Depends on the girl, obviously, but the two big ones are:
1. Ignorance
2. Shame
The ignorance comes from the total absence of sexual education at school or from parents.
The shame comes absolutely from school, family and culture. (incidentally, this is also part of the reason foreign men are seen as sexual predators, feeding on the young, pure Chinese girls)
I read that in a recent survey, 60% of young Chinese admitted that the internet was where they first learned about sex.
thedude the answer is very simple: there is no MUTUAL SEXUAL SATSIFACTION CLASSES in the chinese program
I believe that a large majority of women here view sex as an obligation as opposed to a pleasurable experience.
Have sex to get baby, 5000 years history!! (I couldn't resist)
derek:
Actually, truthfully, even if my post may seem a little humorous...I'm not really joking. I have had similar experiences as you mention.
Im lucky to finally have one that is actually NORMAL...in bed at least, no complains whatsoever
Shes from the North east, if it matters I dunno (I live in Fujian...)
The one I had before didnt know that women have orgasms too...Anyway the BUSH haha...I'll always remember that, it was like a scary movie...LOL , her, standing in the bathroom corner screaming and me coming closer with my hair clippers and an evil laugh