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Q: Why are so many Chinese men pigs?
OK...girlfriends little sister has a bf for 1 year...three weeks ago he breaks up with her...1 week ago she finds out she is preggers...now he refuses to help her or even talk to her....OK stupidity aside now.
She doesn't have the money for an abortion let alone to have the baby alone...and he won't help her.
What can I do? Should I just pound the snot out of him and risk the repercussions or is there something in the law that will make him responsible? I told my gf to call his parents and tell them what he did but she refuses to do it.
Is this a regular thing in China? I have heard stories but this one hits close to home.
For all the talk about foreign perverts do people here ever freakin look in the proverbial mirror????
Edit: In light of the fact I asked this question when I was very pissed off...I have altered it so it is not as offensive.
I have met some very good Chinese men...but also a lot of bad ones.
Lend or give her the abortion money. You may never get it back, you may break up with your GF, but, if you can afford it, help this young woman.
Then go tell his parents.
denny18:
The down vote is for the title of the question which is quite offensive to say the least.
crimochina:
i must disagree dont give her any money they could be running a scam on you. don't ever think you really know someone here.
thedude:
The GF has already asked me to help but....as much as I feel sorry for her and want to help....it is very very hard for me to use my money to do this...even though I am pro-choice. This is too often the solution for everything here.
crimochina:
dude: it smells like a scam. how much did she ask for? the fact that she asked you to help is exactly why i believe it's a scam. this is actually very common in china and it is handled 99.9 % without the involvement of foreigners so ask her what would they do if you werent their friend, they have recourse.
thedude:
It turns out she needed some money for something else (not a lot)....her sister is paying herself even though she has little and works at a factory. I have been with my gf almost 1 year not counting the month I broke up with her. This is really not a scam...but thanks for the concern.
nevermind:
Dude, how can it not be a scam? She said she needed Abortion money and it was for something else. I'd be furious.
thedude:
nevermind...the problem was she is always vague...she said she needed money and after all the shit with her sister I assumed it was for this this but after much pressure on my part (2 days) I found out it what is was for...not her sister...and not enough to pay for what she needs anyway...yes I was very mad.
crimochina:
dude: i had a very close friend for over 2 years. shared her deepest secrets with me and spent time together hanging out. she treated me to many dinners and i her. (never romantic) but after over 2 .5 years of friendship out of the blue she texted me that she needed to borrow 30,000rmb. after prodding she said a family member was in trouble (not much detail) too me that's a big nono. especially if you tell me you'll pay me back next month. wouldn't have loaned her the money even if i was a millionaire. and wouldnt you know . a few weeks after i told her no. nothing happened said family member is ok. remember dude this is china and we are all outsiders with deep pockets. wives scam their husbands too. so a gf scamming her bf is nothing.
Guys in western countries do it too.
That's why we have Gerry Springer and Jeremy Kyle.
This guy is most certainly an asshole.
I don't think all Chinese guys are pigs. I've met some really nice guys here, and we have some d!cks in the west, so I wouldn't generalize that far.
do not get involved in anyway. and especially don't give any money to her or the family. this is china land of 1.5 billion scam artist. be smart only focus on your responsibilities . they have recourse , do not get pulled into their drama.
GuilinRaf:
Very true! They may even conclude that the child is yours. After all, if the child is not yours, then they cannot see any reason for paying.
I liked the suggestion about exposing him on weibo, but that also exposed her too. And she might not like that. Therefore the other idea about beating the shit out up him until he does what is right sounds good too.
But this is China, and you have to understand the reality of the situation. I'm sure plenty will disagree with me, but in this backwards society, things are more complicated.
If the guy is a dick now, and acting this way, they thought of him giving in and marrying her would probably a bad thing. Loveless marriage where he will treat her as if she ruined his life.
Having the baby out of wedlock means that most likely she will be considered unmarriageable by most parents (who always have the say when finding a wife for their son). It shouldnt be like that, but it is.
So I will agree with nevermind, lend her the money and help her out. Then go tell his parents. One satisfying beating from you won't compare to the shitstorm he will receive from his parents
GuilinRaf:
And, unlike the beating, they cannot sic the police on you!
Similar problem, my girlfriend's girlfriend found out her dad has lung cancer, the boy who was talking about marriage to her leaves her the next day after telling her "not seeing a stable life" aka afraid of financial consequences. We find out two days later he's already hanging out with some other girl.
Stereotypical question from non other than the dude. I didn't bother reading through your explanation I just had to look at your question and tell you this is a stereotypical question!
I would have to agree with Nevermind on this one. If she is Chinese and she births a baby out of wedlock, no matter how bad you look at abortion, you're in China and adoption is almost completely out of the question, she will be shamed, find it difficult to find or maintain a job and her social status will drop like a rock
thedude:
She's only 20...if she has the baby her life would be ruined.
crimochina:
then that means the boy friend is in serious trouble. because it is against the law to impregnate a woman under 22. so this confirms my suspicions that this is a scam
thedude:
It's really not a scam and I forgot about this rule. Maybe I can use this to get back at him.
I think this is a "male thing" (I don't say "Man" because Men live up to their responsibilities).
We have legal protection in the West, BUT that is because many males do not live up to their responsibility. In P.R. every time you try to get certain jobs, a drivers license, etc. you have to bring a document from ASUME (which controls Child Support) proving that you do not owe any Child support. If males in the West were such saints, we would not need this kind of legislation.
Therefore, I do not think it is a "China only phenomenon".
crimochina:
because according to chinese this doesnt happen in china. they only have children after marriage. nice to live in a bubble
