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anonymous
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Q: Why can't my Chinese girlfriend just admit she made a mistake?

Big or small, important or trivial, it doesn't matter. My girlfriend will never, ever admit to her making a mistake. She'll call me out for anything and rant on about it, but she will always, no exception, try to divert attention when she's clearly to blame for something. And the more I try to put her face to face with that fact, the angrier she'll get.

It's so exasperating. Why is it so difficult for people to admit a mistake?

I've noticed this in most of my interactions with serious Chinese friends, and sometimes it just seems as though the more you know someone here, the more likely they are to 1.lie, and 2. never admit to a wrong.

There's no way this can be face. Not in a couple.

9 years 33 weeks ago in  Relationships - China

 
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Posts: 3044

Emperor

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For you it may be NO WAY, but for her and your Chinese friends, IT IS.

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9 years 33 weeks ago
 
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It isn't confined to Chinese.
be married for a while and you will understand you are always wrong except the time you tell her she is right?
Good luck     you are going to need itangel

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9 years 33 weeks ago
 
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I agree with Phil, the story of my life. I find a good job, she takes the credit, she is wrong I have to say she's right, I make the money she say's it is because of her, i open a business, she say's it was her idea. LOL, so to put things in a different perspective, most girls I know are like that

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9 years 33 weeks ago
 
Posts: 134

Governor

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yeah mate, why are saying this is a chinese thing? My old girlfriend from eastern europe would NEVER admit to being wrong about anything. I got news for you mate, it aint because she is chinese... its because she doesnt respect you

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9 years 33 weeks ago
 
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Emperor

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Most men Worldwide HAVE the final say in any discussion with their wives or gilrfriends: "Yes Dear..."cheeky

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9 years 33 weeks ago
 
Posts: 135

Governor

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I think you would find it easier to find an answer to an easier question...such as......

"Does God exist"?

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9 years 33 weeks ago
 
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Emperor

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Not to be a traitor to my gender or anything, but I don't really think this is a Chinese thing Smile

ED: ... thinking about it, I know plenty guys not so good at admitting when they've made a mistake either!

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9 years 33 weeks ago
 
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Emperor

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Maybe you are thinking of this as one-sided. Maybe she doesn't expect you to take the blame either? Next time you make a mistake, blame it on the dog. cheeky

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9 years 33 weeks ago
 
Posts: 113

Governor

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Chinese is very shy to admit their mistakes.so your girlfriend do not admit her mistake especially  when she is facing with you.lol

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9 years 4 weeks ago
 
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I had a similar post on this before, you can check.

 

But yes, I think it is a Chinese/Asian thing. My Chinese gf will not say sorry directly, or accept her wrong completely, but she will make it up in other ways, by being super nice to me.

Generally in the west, the matter is not completely resolved until one apologizes, that is what most of us are taught from a young age.

 

 

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9 years 4 weeks ago
 
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LOL sounds like me.I usually won't admit my small mistakes,but big mistakes I will and say sorry to my husband(Australian), the point is,making big mistakes are so limited for me,so my husband can hardly get me to say sorry to him,he complains about it tho. I know its no good and unfair.

 

Finally,My husband found a way to deal with me by saying I FORGIVE YOU.it really works for us. after that I start to say sorry to him.

 

Its just a face thing,so you love your gf or wife,you'd better take the first step,I am sure she will eventually say sorry to you.

 

Hope it helps.

 

 

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9 years 4 weeks ago
 
Posts: 227

Governor

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you people are behaving as if you don't know women againwink, is she not a child? then treat her like a child, is she not your girlfriend or wife? then treat her like that, is she not your mother or sister or friend? then treat her like one, the only thing you need to keep at the back of your mind is that you are the head of the family while she is the heart, but yet you are the man and she is the woman, correct her as your child when she is wrong and and take care of her when she is in need of it but never ever let the woman dominate and manage you the way she likes  or that will be a great danger for you, good luck

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9 years 4 weeks ago
 
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Have you ever had a girlfriend? Most are like that. Just nod your head and let it go. If you get hung up on placing the blame in a relationship then it likely won't last very long.

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9 years 4 weeks ago
 
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