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Posts: 89

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Q: Why do 99% of the foreigners walk around the city and not acknowledge other foreigners?

Do they think they are better than "other" foreigners?
Are they just better than me and I should accept that and stop trying to befriend them?
Do they think they are the only foreigners in China, so to acknowledge me is to also lose their delusion?

(By the way, "Lose Their Delusion" should be the next Guns-N-Roses comeback album, am I right?)

12 years 39 weeks ago in  Culture - China

 
Answers (26 - 49 of 49)
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Posts: 16

Governor

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ANSWER TO QUESTION:
Probably we dont acknowledge other foreigners is because WE DONT KNOW THEM!! Hows that for an answer?
I dont acknowledge Chinese, Japanese,American, Canadian or ANY other person unless I know them or a circumstance arises that we must speak. I am cordial in every way to every person otherwise.
End of story.

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12 years 31 weeks ago

Live your life...do what you think you might like to do...challenge your fears...life is full of risks..change is about taking a risk...if you dont take risks you dont grow and thus never change!

 
Posts: 97

Governor

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I used to smile at foreigners passing me by in the street, give them something of a knowing glance. I stopped doing that after getting numb, almost suspicious stares. The only foreigners worth smiling to now are the obvious tourists. Foreigners living in China seem to harbor a hidden shame/angst/secret that prevents them from smiling back at people.

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12 years 31 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1197

Shifu

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I don't acknowledge other foreigners because I don't know them. Nothing personal. Westerners see my skin color and automatically think we're cool with each other. That being said, I am always polite when they do this but I've never made friends with a foreigner in China this way.

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12 years 31 weeks ago
 
Posts: 27

Governor

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Kolbol, you´re basically right... but not completely...
we don´t need to have a connection only cause we´re foreigners.... we don´t share the same culture, language or roots.
yes, being friendly is ok, i smile, i say nod my head, say hi sometimes, and i get some responses... maybe also depends on how you say it.
anyway, i am not really interested in being friends with all the westerners i know. usually friendship comes with time and trust, not cause you smile to everyone (they expect that from the chinese gfs, so might think you´re interested). heheh
every personality has it´s way... i keep my simple smile , eye contact, head nod, and hi. one day, i will have lots of facebook friends, like this. Laughing out loud

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12 years 31 weeks ago
 
Posts: 61

Governor

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Most foreigners I've met are like retards vying with each other over a 'finite quantity' of air. They've been so used to soaking up the attention given to them by Chinese that crossing paths with an unknown foreigner becomes analogous to an enemy encroaching on their territory. Or revealing them to be nothing special - like they'd deluded themselves into thinking if the Chinese thought they were such hot sh*t, then really, they must be!

Which is fine by me, really. The times when I have come away from a pleasant encounter with a foreigner in China have been few and far between.

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12 years 31 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1153

Shifu

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most foreigners especially teachers reaching english cannot make it in thier own country so they go to china and people look up at them which in fact thier usually losers

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12 years 31 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1006

Shifu

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I don't like most (99%) of the foreigners I meet in China... Shit I can't stand myself most of the time...

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12 years 31 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1932

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I grew up in a town of less than a thousand people, in the mountains, six hours drive from the closest city but snowed in all winter. I got used to recognizing almost everyone I saw for the first half of my life.

Now strangers talk to me and stare at me every day. From the simple high-pitched 'hello' to 'practice English!!!' 'you are my foreign friend giba me phone number'. I am afraid to speak Chinese in public because it means people will crowd around asking me boring/insulting questions about being a foreigner.

So I am supposed to be friends with every white/black/etc person I see as well? Usually that friendship consists of "speak chinese for me" "omg the light switches are upside-down" till they break down and leave after six months.

I'm a quiet, cranky person, I hate talking to strangers, and I like a few close friends rather than superficial relationships with everyone in the world. Probably the wrong country to be in but whatever.

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12 years 31 weeks ago
 
Posts: 960

Shifu

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I react to foreigners the same as I would to a local or another Australian or foreigner in my own country. If there is eye contact I may smile or say hello and if I am in a situation where I need to ask directions etc I may ask them because they may speak English. If I was sitting next to one on a bus or train etc I would probably engage in as much conversation as I could but would also do the same to a local if they could speak English. I dont get why anyone expects us to be any different or go all gushy over another foriegner. I take offence about comments of others comming here because they cant make it. Most people I know come to experience another culture and the good and bad experience that your country offers. I have a good job in Australia but look forward very much to the 2 months or so I can spend in China each year.

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12 years 31 weeks ago
 
Posts: 423

Shifu

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I don't like the negativity that some have but still in China.. so i avoid them

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12 years 31 weeks ago
 
Posts: 371

Shifu

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I sometimes acknowledge other foreigners with a nod, but as a general rule I stay away from them.

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12 years 30 weeks ago

Tired of dirt and lies.

 
Posts: 12

Governor

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I was raised---yup, I am goin back 41 years---to speak when spoken to. I could care less what someone's personal hang-ups are...it costs nothing to exchange pleasantries with another foreigner. Anyone who thinks otherwise is simply fooling themselves or completely lost in their own ego.

Bad manners abound in China enough already without foreigner-born persons ignoring a simply pleasantry exchange, too.

kchur:

What pleasantries would you suggest? I was raised to think that bothering a stranger was bad manners.

12 years 26 weeks ago
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GoldenBoy:

Why should we talk to or gesture to people we don't know?

12 years 26 weeks ago
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12 years 26 weeks ago
 
Posts: 9192

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This sounds like everyone is comfortable in their isolation and not wanting to reach out. Puzzled Puzzled

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12 years 26 weeks ago
 
Posts: 68

Governor

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it depends where you are the bigger the city the less likely people will talk to you, your just another guy white/black/yellow does not matter...

I live in a smaller city and at least 75% of the foreigners i see on the street/in supermarket say hi or at least nod, when i lived in Beijing less than 5% made any acknowledgement

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12 years 25 weeks ago
 
Posts: 415

Shifu

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Probably because we are conditioned in our own countries not to do it for fear of being mugged or hit on!!

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12 years 25 weeks ago
 
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in the city (usa) you better not say hello in anyway to strangers, more harm than good will come out of it

Njord:

same in any big city I suppose... As I said I don't do it here unless of course I know the person.

12 years 25 weeks ago
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12 years 25 weeks ago
 
Posts: 55

Governor

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It's sad, I feel. I'm a social person and I really get this stigma that foreigners want to be the big shots in their city and get intimidated by other foreigners for fears that they may feel the same exact feeling.

The sad part here is that --

their level of Chinese is often baffling. How can they consider themselves "big times" in a country in which they are more or less mute?

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12 years 25 weeks ago
 
Posts: 7204

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If i didnt say hello back to somebody in my town when I was growing up I would here about how rude I was whan I got home.
as for China the first couple of weeks I nearly got whip lash noding my head in the big cities.and then ignored for my trouble.
so now I only do it in the small cities where the forinner is few and far between

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12 years 25 weeks ago
 
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it's so true....it's just human nature.. Cool

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12 years 25 weeks ago

I like a snowy Happy new year, rather than a no sky one...Beijing's time to ban the cars---the only solution for the time being...

 
Posts: 1391

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If you're in a district full of foreigners, it's normal not to acknowledge each other, because you don't feel left out.
But usually if you see a foreigner in a lost part of the city, and that person doesn't live there, 3/4 of the time they'll say at least "Hi". (because, you know, when you're lost in a place, in a culture you don't understand, and surrounded by people whose language you don't speak, chances are that this foreigner will more or less share the same culture, or at least a mind that's closer than the one of the locals. And - even without saying a word - that presence will be reassuring in a way: You're not alone).
But yeah it's either because they're cocky, comfy in their foreign community nest, or just that they've already adapted to the local culture, learnt the language etc, and see you just as a person.

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12 years 24 weeks ago
 
Posts: 43

Governor

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When i arrived in 96 it was actually the contrary but now, there are too many and most of them are not that interesting...i'm one of those who avoid contact just because i'm tired of being the tourist information center! 

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12 years 20 weeks ago

"What goes around, comes around"

 
Posts: 6321

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I am extremely absent minded, so I pretty much ignore everyone: Chinese and Western alike. On top of that I am also hard of hearing, and if I am not using my hearing aid, well I can see how someone could get the impression that I am the rudest stinker ever. 

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12 years 20 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1197

Shifu

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This older Australian teacher that I never met before just started talking to me in the elevator yesterday. He was super nice and not weird which was very refreshing. 

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12 years 20 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2604

Shifu

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My best guess is that they don't know each other. Nobody is gonna acknowledge a stranger. 

crimochina:

clearly you are not a foreigner , if so you would know all foreigners "know" each other

12 years 17 weeks ago
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12 years 17 weeks ago
 
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