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Sign up with Google Sign up with FacebookQ: Why do 99% of the foreigners walk around the city and not acknowledge other foreigners?
Do they think they are better than "other" foreigners?
Are they just better than me and I should accept that and stop trying to befriend them?
Do they think they are the only foreigners in China, so to acknowledge me is to also lose their delusion?
(By the way, "Lose Their Delusion" should be the next Guns-N-Roses comeback album, am I right?)
I think people are just trying to live normal lives. Just like in our home countries we don't call out to random people on the street.
I live in a small town where I defiantly DO call out to other foreigners. But when I go to the big city I assume that random other people have their own lives to lead and friend groups they are satisfied with.
I don't ever call out to people... I'm talking about not returning a smile! I smile at people all day long and I get smiles returned from the Chinese (sometimes) but almost never from the foreigners. They just look away, or look down and keep walking.. It might just be a Chengdu phenomenon.. All the people in my friend group talk about this occurance. Weird I tell you! SO now when they do the ignoring the smile thing we usually call out "Don't worry, I'll still tell everyone you're the only foreigner in town!" And keep walking..
This happens all over China.
Probably afraid of the embarrassing questions that may follow:
Hiding from an ex wife seeking to collect child support?
Wanted by the FBI?
Are you a pedophile?
Looking for sexy Chinese girl to fool around with?
Are you a refuge?
Are you a criminal?
Are you a convicted felon?
More like:
A: So what are you doing in China at the moment?
B: (uncomfortable pause) I teach
I know exactly what you mean! I always want to initiate conversation when i pass by other foreigner. I'd go to them and try and high five them then have a big laugh. We're alike! The minority unites! Sometimes people would two thumb up me to say "you're the man", it's really enjoyable. It's best way to make other foreign friend, methinks.
But I don't want to be a bother, because I realized sometime when I come across foreigner and yell "hey bro!" they would look away, look down and keep walking. I thought maybe I'm too direct, so I started doing exactly like you and smile at them. When they return smile, I would then double finger-gun them and say " pew pew", but this is were they would look down and keep walking. It's getting annoying really.
This is why i'm looking to make moar Chinese friend...
I would like to befriend them but what if i end bothering them. This is what i ask usually to myself .
and its really difficult to balance the two feeling.
Also most foreigners i see are of my sex , natureally i dont feel attracted to them so i dont go to them .
when the person doesn't seem attractive how can i go talk to them ..
For big cities like Beijing or Shanghai this question is useless. There are so many foreigners there.
In small cities the question has application, but I guess its a personal decision.
Many foreigners are just anti-social or have no interest in befriending or talking to you. China is a more collective society on the whole (though this is of course changing). Being around people and talking to neighbours is very normal. In the West, people are more reserved and cautious when it comes to interacting with people. I find the whole friendhsip game a lot more calculated by Westerners and it's pretty exhausting.
So, sunilsah2050, your point is that you don't talk to other foreigners unless you want to f*ck them... hmmm.
It is a question of "Are we obligated to initiate a conversation merely due to the fact they are foreigners?".
We know in western countries we aren't usually going to start talking to random people on the street to make friends like what would happen here.
Like coffaholic said, foregieners are more reserved people and when we see another foreigner we just give ourselves alot of unnecessary pressure in our mind that we think we should talk to them.
However, I believe all situations are different. I think it would be easier to talk to a foreigner in a restaurant or bar, as opposed to passing them on the street.
Even if I pass a foreigner on a bicycle I find it easier to say hello than walking.
When I first came here nine years ago this was a question on my mind. I found it strange because In my hometown we always smile at each other passing on the the street (if our eyes made contact) but, you could always tell who was a non local for the would not smile back. My conlcusion to this issue was that most laowai come here to experience China and want nothing to do with the average laowai passing by...
it would be odd for random people to suddenly talk to someone they dont know. lol. i think it is.
I think that it's very normal,because laowai came to the strang place to live,they are not familiar with anything surrounding. we are afraid of everything in our mind ,so we get used to the environment for a long time,
just like me, I feel very strange ,very lonelywhen first time came to shenzehen,sometimes I want to talk to foreigners, but i always can't get out the first step to touch stranger. I need courage ,self-confidence to make myself be strong!
It could be one of two reasons...but only these two.
#1- they are english teachers, but tell everyone they are in "export" and dont want to socialize with other foreigners because people will just ask them what they do.
#2- they are the lao wai who think they have immersed themselves into the chinese culture so deeply and now hate any other foreigner who is there.......because they might ask them what they do for a living
Completely agree with Laura, I wouldn't start a conversation with a stranger on the street I don't think the country I live in changes that fact.
I would politely return the smile if I noticed it. If I didn't notice the smile, and someone called out "Don't worry ..." I would be glad I hadn't noticed them, as they don't sound like someone I would want to talk to anyway.
As dharma said, it's like there's an odd, uncomfortable feeling that perhaps we should be engaging in conversation because we're rare birds in an exotic land. Actually, we're not.
The other reason has to due with many foreigners acting disgracefully in China. Just go out downtown and the rowdiest ones will almost always be Americans getting drunk. Many times I've had Chinese tell me stories of them seeing drunk foreigners in the street pissing against trees and yelling drunkenly. Doesn't exactly give a good image.
So when you see another laowai, instinct pushes you to want to categorize him or her. In doubt, you just won't talk to them.
That is so weird,, because back here at home immigrants always have clung together and still do. I worked in places with Italians that after 25 years here could only say 'hey Joe' in English.. I am quite shocked now to go into a big city like Toronto now and see malls or stores that are totally in Chinese, Indian, Arabic. I can not even read the signs. And the ones I can read are funny,, Habbeebs clothing and bomb supplies..,, so find it odd that foreign North Americans are not tight.
It's simple:
You *might* be French if you're a foreigner, and who the hell wants to take that chance?!?!
It depends where you are. In Shanghai, which has lots of foreigners, it would be weird to talk to every white person you see. But in more remote places, I sometimes will
I once spent a few days in a remote Chinese city, and chanced upon some old white dude from Quebec, who seemed to be the only white person within a 500 KM radius other than me. So talking to him there was just more natural.
Cause that is stupid. Do you think all Chinese people in the US walk around saying hello to each other like dupes?
Njord, i can't believe you just wrote that..you mean it's okay for us white folks to come to China and it becomes bad when Africans do just that?
I don't say hello to Africans because in Beijing, the next thing that happens is a high-pressure drug sales pitch. Obviously not Africans you may meet at work or in school. But, the ones just hanging around on Dongsishitiao..... different story.
Only reason one would feel compelled to talk to another foreigner is if you're really living in the middle of nowhere. In the big cities in China, we're everywhere. No reason to talk to every foreigner you see, or even smile at them for that matter.
You hear so many stories of moron laowais here that frankly I've turned suspicious whenever I see one. It's sad, but the freedom foreigners have in China has turned many of them into complete douches. That's the main reason I won't look at a passing laowai longer than I have to.