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Q: Why do Chinese people automatically assume I don't like China?
It seems it's impossible for me to have my own opinion about China, or about Chinese living outside of China. So easily, people only hear the negative side of words. I try to be very balanced with people, but they think the positive that I say is only a veil to disguise my true thoughts...
I don't understand. I'm not American, I'm French. All this negative media attention going on is really between the US. and China. France is small and insignificant, so why is it still a crime for me to say even the smallest bad thing about China. Why are they so touchy? It seems they really try too hard to interpret my words in a bad light.
Because they are very protective about their country.
They are not brought up with questioning anything about their country and they even learn that China is the best country in the world.
At least this is how my wife put it. We also had many arguments about it because she cannot understand that just because I do not agree with Chinese ways doesn't mean I hate China.
danielmarino:
Yeap, being Chinese is like being a religious fanatic according to my friends here.
I don’t think they perceive us as a nationality just as foreigners.
A Chinese friend tried to explain it to me like this, if you had been shown a red ball all your life but all your life you where told it was blue when someone comes along and actually tells you it blue you are going to be upset.
What part of China are you in, if I may ask? I have not encountered this problem. Only on two or three occasions have I had a disagreeable incident just for being American though I have lived in China for five years. Four in Guilin and one in Beijing.
Marxist-Maoist thought (as against marxist-lennin) says that the west is capitalist, anti-humanist, and wrong. France is just as guilty as modern Japan. See Andrei Sakharov, Solzhenitsyn, and Liu XB and Ang Syung Syi Ki for example of those who have gone against totalitarian thought in the world. Now ask your friend in china who knows any of them?
I think that's because the people here always say positive things, or put a positive light on everything because they are so unwilling to openly criticize something. That would cause someone to lose face, unless they are a very good friend. So by saying something bad, even objectively, they see it as a direct insult. I ran into this a lot when I first came here, but I think the people I know well see it differently because they know I'm not trying to insult anything. Being opinionated with anyone but a friend will get you either a very touchy Chinese person, or a label as being a crazy foreigner. I know it seems strange, but take a look at how they interact with you. Even if something is bad, will they admit it? Or do they deflect it? Of course, for the ones that openly criticize others, they're just total hypocrites, only thinking their culture is the best. You've probably run into them too. If you're talking to a person, and they won't listen, then don't talk to them about things like that anymore. Find someone who will listen and actually discuss things with you, rather than feeling automatically insulted. And you could always give examples of how your country isn't perfect either, it might help, but it might not.
They're not very willing to be openly critical of anything; there's so much double speak in this country. So I guess when you openly say "I love this, but dislike this, about your country..." they only really hear the second part.
I noticed this quite clearly when I attended a work banquet a few weeks ago. They did the typical thing; huge tables, 20 people per table, about 40 dishes of food on the table. I liked almost all of the dishes, and ate with great enjoyment. But, I don't typically like liver, and one of the dishes I was offered was liver; I didn't eat it. They were willing to take my unwillingness to eat one dish as a slight on all Chinese food. I had to point out that I'd eaten and enjoyed every other damn thing and they still weren't really mollified!
GuilinRaf:
Very ture.
I used to be honest about what I liked and did not like about America. Then, I discovered that they only paid attention to the second part.
Now, I do not criticize China, nor America nor any other country except to my VERY nearest and dearest friends.
Any bad thing said toward china and a national of china will get mad. Afterall it's either all or nothing and if you start off negative they will think your gonna be negative towards more stuff and bigger things....
plain stupidity and selfishness.if i go home coming back to china wont be easy
you came to the wrong people , that's the fact
sorry about my poor English
The Chinese I interact with can take small criticisms, but I wouldn't consider criticising the whole of China, but then we consider ourselves friends. I limit those criticisms to things like taxi drivers, driving etiquette and never anything that can be too generalised. I would certainly never criticise anything personal about a person, i.e. their dress, eating habits etc. I have only been here 20 months and basically I am just copying the habits I see, (without adopting the ones I view as bad), and so far so good.
