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Q: Why do Chinese people seem to think life is something to be endured, not enjoyed?
It seems like they expect life to be a struggle until the bliss of being old and decrepit.
I can't fathom the way of thinking that results in just enduring and not wanting to enjoy.
That Q is good!
I see, 'Ro' is nodding, also!"
Can't think that deep.......
Many of my local friends think ex-pats are crazy just wanting to enjoy themselves every so often. There are times when i think 'i deserve this' (especially after a few BCD's) and take a break in a different city, only to be told i am wasting my money. We all have goals in life, but being able to enjoy things - even the little things that don't cost money - seems to be beyond many of my local friends. I hope some of the Chinese posters on this site will give an insight to this thinking.
I am not sure this is the case. The real issue at hand is that Chinese people enjoy themselves in a different manner than "westerner". E.g. to a French person, playing Boule under an olive tree sipping Bordeaux might be the pinnacle of enjoyment. Not many Chinese would bite on this. Personally I'd sit and sip Bordeaux anywhere as long as I didn't have to play a stupid childrens ball game or sing at a KTV I am enjoying myself.
The selection of entertainment in China is pathetically low. Sure if you spend big bucks you can do anything, but for the normal budget, you are limited to KTV, going to shitty cafes and going to the mall walking past all the fancy brands and then do some shopping in the 'made in China section'. Of course you can go to a park, "climb a mountain" or some such activity, but most of such things are regimented to only be on certain days. Then of course there is also the issue that you rarely have time to do any such activities as you are forced to be with your relatives all the time. A thing I think no one is actually enjoying for longer periods of time.
mike168229:
Although you hit on entertainment, this is not what I was focusing on.
I am mean life in general. Family life, work life, not just what to do in your spare time.
The vast majority of people I know here hate their job, are in unhappy relationships and generally just don't like their lives. They see it as something to be endured until they get to sit around as an old person spouting advice on a street corner.
Scandinavian:
Sure there are other parts than on the entertainment front. A simple thing. "Hey, lets go for a nice relaxing drive along the coast", actually means "Hey, lets go out and listen to all the f*ckers constantly honking their horns while we look out on all the garbage my fellow countrymen have ejected from their cars" Who can possibly enjoy that. Here in Zhuhai there is actually a very scenic road along the ocean, traffic there is not too bad. Would be perfect for an afternoon cruise in an open top car. Had it not been for the village idiots and their constant honking. Sure, I could dig doing the same in a lose car, AC on full blast, Depeche Mode - Enjoy the Silence on equally full blast to block out the real world. But it's not the way to go if you want to do something joyful with the missus.
It is not possible for Chinese people to have fun.
mike168229:
Sorry Scando, but, again, you have missed the point of the question.
I am not talking about free time stuff here. I am talking about the fundamental way these people see life.
mArtiAn:
Sorry Scan, but.........Depeche Mode? Really, I think i'd rather stick my head out the window and listen to those car horns.
Scandinavian:
I get your question. It's just difficult to comment on so many aspects at once. I agree people are incapable of enjoyment. Without being able to put my finger on it, it's probably rooted in the last century of events. The oldest generations have lived a life where survival was the challenge. The society today is tough, it is screw or get screwed.
mArtiAn:
I think 'screwed or get screwed' is a fair commentary. But I still don't understand the point of view you're taking Mike, not entirely, and I equally don't understand your comment (Scan) on the Chinese being incapable of enjoying life, I really don't, but most of all, and this is what really has my mind mixed up, I don't understand why you'd be listening to Depeche Mode while you're cruising the coast on a summer's day. I don't get it. I just - don't - get it.
Scandinavian:
@marTIan: You should be pretty eupeptic about your countrys musical contributions to the world. See the irony in listening to "Enjoy the Silence" at a loud volume to block out sound.
Note: I presently do not have a decent car stereo, nor a car or a drivers license for that matter, so it is all just an illusion.
derek:
Your comment about being forced to be with relatives is a huge problem if you ask me. A brutal time waster in this country.
Well said.
I've been given the impression since first visiting this site that people in Guangxi (the place i've spent the last 8 years) are different to those in the rest of the country, and i'm beginning to think it may be true because once again i'm in startling disagreement with a posted observation. In my experience, which like I say is almost exclusively based on my years in Guangxi, the Chinese have a marvelous zest for life and really know how to have a good time. I'm not talking about in the clubs, i'm not much of a clubber, but in the time I have spent on dance-floors i've come to recognize that the Chinese in general can't dance to save their lives, and i'm not talking about the music scene or the entertainment industry in general; I find traditional Chinese music a durge, reminiscent of an evening of choral music in a mental hospital, and Chinese pop is so cheesy you could serve it with crackers; also from what I can make of Chinese comedy chat shows and the like (kazoos and sudden camera zooms), that area of the entertainment industry is equally unsophisticated, but in day to day life, shopping in the market, taking my son to the park, and especially when i'm out and about in the evening (I love China at night), the overall impression I get is of a nation of people who love spending time with family, are quick to smile and have a laugh, enjoy taking photos of stuff, but shouldn't be trusted with your wallet.
mike168229:
I understand your point but, again, that is only a small part of it. If you delve deeper into peoples lives they are intrinsically unhappy. They might enjoy being with their family or taking pictures but I am not talking about past-times. I am talking the overall picture.
mArtiAn:
Jeez, well as far as the overall picture's concerned, I wouldn't know how anyone else views life, other than myself, and I view it as a struggle; something to be endured until old age and that blissful promise of the sweet release of death's loving scythe alight at my side and take me.
Maybe I am Chinese afteral.
mikael84:
Just coming home from a weekend trip to Guangxi (Yangshuo) I can definitely understand your point of view.
It is also not as bad here in Shenzhen as it is the other places I have lived/been in China (Jiangshu and Guangzhou mainly).
andy74rc:
Been with my wife, my parents and my cousin to Yangshuo on Oct 2011 and did all the things/visit all the places you're supposed to do there. Been pretty disappointing, I have to say. Following that experience, no one more rmb has been/is going to be spent on tourism in China. Just not worth it.
Maybe because many small things that are actually a big source of joy are lived just like daily necessities.
1) Food: swallow your bowl of s**t in 5 minute, without even thinking of what you're eating. Preferably order some take away because you're too lazy to spend 30 minutes of your life in cooking something edible.
2) Sex: exploring ways with your partner for mutual satisfaction is something that takes too long and too much effort.
3) Job: carry on throught the day with the minimum amount of effort in anything you're doing. you're not working (also) for a bit of satisfaction in accomplishment, but just for the money.
Add into this the very right consideration on what people have bene through in the past 60 years, and you get the picture.
I'm not Chinese but married here and been here for a little while so I'll share my observations on the question. First of all you have to realize that China is still a developing country with the majority of the people still having a survival mentality rather than a enjoy life mentality. Some things are still not that developed here like pension system, food and drug safety, health insurance, education for kids, transportation (err driving) and housing. In the mist of having to think about all this stuff and protect yourself its hard to enjoy the smaller things in life sometimes as those things just tend to consume people. I imagine some of those things will get better as China continues to develop and take a little less stress of the people.
Besides that though there are also strong cultural forces. From my observation, if people want to really enjoy life they often get criticized by family as they hold big expectations for you that you should do your best to fulfill. It takes a lot of courage still for a young man or woman to stand up and go against their parents wish. The culture here is still success first over pleasure. As a guanxi based society this success can come in very handy. The more successful you are the easier it is for you to make friends/contacts whom you may need at some point. Quite frankly its tough for people here (at least where I am, in a rich coastal province) to relate to people who just want to enjoy life. If you can't truly relate to the people around you its also a kind of misery too isnt it?
In short I think many Chinese have that hope to enjoy life its just very very difficult in this environment I mentioned.
The way children are brought up ! How often do you see parents smile to their children praising their doings compared to how often you see a parent jerking a child around by the arm. People are brought up with a set of "what not to do's" There is no positive enforcement.
The Chinese society is supposed to be about the harmony of the people, it is supposed to be built on socialist values. It is in fact a society that lets the weak lie on the floor and there is no care for the people.
The ONLY requirement ever put on people is "Do well in school so you can support your family" after that nothing.
Most people in China also have a strong skepticism against trying new things. You might get them to eat your grandmothers home baked cookies, they might say they taste good, but they would never venture into making them themselves
Nessquick:
Yes yes yes, You got it. I was thinking about same problem too. why the f@ck they have to always yell at their children ? I do that sometimes too, just when I told him3-4times not to do something and he continue to fight with me :D but hey, the kid sometimes just go a one step beside of the way their grannie want, and start to yell at them :(
andy74rc:
It's just yelling to the blue. Never explaining the reasons.
i don't see kids behaving much, despite all the yelling....
I see instead plenty of kids behaving like little mental disordered monkeys.....
Scandinavian:
Basically kids are not allowed to be kids. I grew up limbing trees, falling down, being patched up. I had a free childhood, the only requirements from my parents side were, "do your homework first", "finish your food". Most things I've done since the age 7-8 until now, have been done because I wanted to. Sure, when you are 10 and your mum suggests and you think it is a bad idea, you might end up doing it anyway, after all, they are the grown ups.
Nessquick:
Yeah, same here. I told to my wife manytimes about our son. " If he does not hurt himself, he will not grow up as a man". I protect him, but not overprotect. I sometimes let him fall and stand up by himself, when I know it wouldn't hurt that much. When I have no chance to save him, than there I come with explanation, why that happen, or just telling him, he is stupid for not following my advices :-)
He have to know sometimes the consequences of his actions. So when You say 3 times don't and still not follow, 4th time you let him learn the hard way. Yeah, for some I may look as crazy father, but I am not kid anymore and mostly I know what can and can not happen.
I everyday thinking about, how he can grow up here. no trees to climb a lot. if yes, no friends to play with him, coz they have to study hard... We have a good time together, when we have time to spend.
Just let some of your chinese friends watch Fail compilation on YT or so, and all the reaction is blank stare with questions, "why do we foreigners like to do so crazy things or sports which hurts ?? " My reply is, because we do not like boring life. Sometimes you fail, some are epic fail, sometimes you are God of situation.
I think life is enjoy.haha,I am the weird type of Chinese,lol.Maybe I am living in Shanghai city.
I feel as if the only joys are ones that let them escape their reality. Like watching korean dramas for girls, movies, eating and visiting bath houses for guys etc. I've seen people on the train in rush hour who were so miserable I could feel it.
Scandinavian:
yeah. I meet these people every morning. Last week a young woman is walking towards me, it was a lovely sunny 20C morning, yet she is cramming her sweater aroud herself, hugging herself to feel warm. She was walking on some very high heels, and about 25 meters in front of me, toke a nice fall to the grass next to the path. She is quickly on her feet and continues. Man she looked to be in a shitty mood when she passed me. My mood did get a bump in the right direction. Slapstick, yeah.
I read a couple years back scientists determined if everyone in the world lived and consumed like your average American, we'd need the equivalent of 6 Earth's worth of resources.
Iron_Monkey:
ugghh forget it.
How many developing countries have you been to? (I'm guessing only China otherwise you wouldn't have needed to ask this question to figure out that in most developing countries people's mindsets are like this)
mike168229:
China is my 34th country. A third of those have been classed as developing.
Maybe you should ask before you judge.
Ignoramus.
Iron_Monkey:
Then you should have figured this out a loooooooonnnnngggggg time ago. 34 countries and you still need to ask, ooooookkkkkkk.
For most of the Chinese people, the western world is simply better, better environment, better social welfare system, and all that means better life. Why do they think life is to be endured? Because there is no other option for them to live their life and all they can do to make their life better is to keep making money and save the most of it they make for the unknown future. Doesn't this sound struggling?
Scandinavian:
But how many common folk have a just somewhat realistic mental image of the west. People seem to fall off the chair when they hear tap water is safe to drink.
Sarsaparilla:
The wonderful image is blur as very few of them have ever seen it with their own eyes. But it comes clear when everyone keeps saying the same thing. And now, the fog, yes the fog has just made the life here tougher.
