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Q: Why do divorced mums in China lose their kids?
We have probably all come across this. Why does the law here favour the fathers parents gaining custody?
It is a patriarchal society where women are a commodity, of course the fathers get the children.
Mateusz:
That seems to be the general perception, regardless of what's borne out by facts.
It is a patriarchal society where women are a commodity, of course the fathers get the children.
Mateusz:
That seems to be the general perception, regardless of what's borne out by facts.
actually in my province, sons get priority to the father and daughters to the mother, unless the 2 legged pieces of carbon dont want their offspring, that happens alot also. another item of this sad tale is if the father remarries and takes the son, the new wife gives him a son, so she wants the other son to go back to the mother , unless of course she gives the guy a daughter, but the son or sons is all that matters. money, love, sex, friendship, companion are useless in their mind. my mix blood baby would be mine in a divorce simply because my wife does not think a chinese man would raise a mix blood daughter and she would never be able to remarry, had this discussion already.
Englteachted:
Typically, fathers don't want the daughters so they turn down custody.
What I have seen, if child is a boy, father's family gets him, but if it is a girl, they will not be so eager.
I have seen a few couples getting a divorce after 2 or 3 girls are born so husband can re marry and try again for a boy. This shows their lack of sex related knowledge, because it is the man who provides chromosome "Y" which determines male sexn babies, not a bowl of chicken soup after sex.
What I have seen, if child is a boy, father's family gets him, but if it is a girl, they will not be so eager.
I have seen a few couples getting a divorce after 2 or 3 girls are born o husband can re marry and try again for a boy. This shows their lack of sex related knowledge, because it is the man who provides chromosome "Y" which determines male sex babies, not a bowl of chicken soup after sex.
juanisaac:
From my experience if the offspring has a birth defect or is disabled, the mother gets the child. I've seen a few single mothers who are raising their child alone after the dad bails out. I've personally met two mothers raising to girls with cerebral palsey.
But to their credit, some men do stick around to take care of their obligation. However, they usually do not have more children.
Hmm, does the law favor fathers? I haven't seen laws, or statistics, about divorce and custody, so I don't know the full situation.
In the US, custody is far more awarded to the mother, largely due to bias against fathers, and towards mothers (reflecting a general sex-based bias). Mothers are just seen as more necessary and better than fathers.
It could also be due to property rights after a divorce. In China, people retain their own property (as far as I am aware). If a man owns a house, he keeps the house (and traditionally, men are supposed to buy a car and house before marriage). In the US, it's much more common for the man to leave the home. In China, the court would see a father who has a house, and decide that's the best place for the child to stay. In the US, conversely, if the mom has the house, and the dad has an apartment (or is living in his car), the court could consider stying with the mother as in their best interests, as it provides a better environment. I have an American friend whose parents divorced. Mom got the house. Dad had to find an apartment.
Side note: This could be why men commit suicide about 4 times as much as women in general, but 8 times as often as women after a divorce, in the US.
ScotsAlan:
Very good point. The west is biased against the father. China towards the father.
Same reason why mothers always get the kids in Western countries. Life ain't fair.
Men are more forceful, and get what they want more easily. The man's family has saved up his salary and got more guanxi from baijiu drinking, gambling and KTV. If the man wants to abandon his wife and daughter, the wife usually has no power. She stayed at home all day to care for the baby.
Sometimes, a woman has more clout in the community than the man, or wealthy parents. Then the men stay because if they run, their parents and inheritance might be at risk. Infanticide and suicide are a reflection of how disfunctional the society is.
Remember most men in China are considered to be king and spoiled even by the law. The wife is only along for the ride and to fulfill her job by bringing a child into this world. Now I'm not saying all couples are like this but most are..
I am a self confessed socialist. But I do agree that mums should have priority over child care.
Because the money belongs to the cardholder, not the ATM machine.
New marriage law says property belongs to the side who buys before marriage. woman cannot get house if man buys before marriage. If both sides buy house together then divorce, property will be comminjuted half-half. The law does not protect woman. woman should buy her own house.
I know/have known about 10 divorced Chinese women and I know not a single one that has lost custody of their kids.
