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Posts: 373

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Q: Why do some women refuse a handshake? religion?

10 years 35 weeks ago in  Culture - Lanzhou

 
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Comments (17)
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It depends. If the woman is from a muslim country, usually it's not appropriate to shake hands with a man. If she's Chinese, maybe she's just shy.

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10 years 35 weeks ago
 
Posts: 415

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A woman doesn't have to hand shake at all, If you are a guy don't be the first to put your hand out!! Man what the hell has happened with guys? don't you know anything about customs and ettiquette?

GoldenBoy:

I treat all people equally. If I extend my hand to a married man accompanied with his wife, I extend it to her as well. It's called politeness and respect. Would you have me bow, kiss her hand or ignore her? Since you are so culturally aware please back up your words by actually explaining then rather than just posting off hand remarks without substance to back them up.

10 years 35 weeks ago
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Alex66:

Sory I was a bit tough on you GB, but in the west you should wait for the woman to offer her hand, most Chinese woman seem to offer their hand straight away. Saying that the rules still apply..wait for the woman to offer first. That's what I have been told by the Chinese friends I know. Maybe if you are european you can kiss them on the cheek

10 years 35 weeks ago
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GoldenBoy:

Yes I'm European and after living in Spain 13 years it was difficult to shake the habit of kissing. I've left more than a few unintentionally embarrassed and I even lost a friend because of it.

10 years 35 weeks ago
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LAR:

That's right Alex. A gentleman shakes hands with a female if she offers her hand first. Yes, what has happened to customs,manners and etiquette? :( Generally speaking, South Koreans and the Chinese are the absolute worst regarding this as they have the worst manners! Many others have also said so. :(

9 years 4 weeks ago
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10 years 35 weeks ago
 
Posts: 144

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well it could be religion and culture of ASIA.

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10 years 35 weeks ago
 
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In many countries you shake hand with the husband and politely bow to the wife. That's what we are supposed to do in France, but more and more people shake hands with women as well...

crimochina:

you are not from france are you?????????? we call them gay because of all the kissing. (american TV always portray french as gay so dont delete my post it is the truth)

10 years 35 weeks ago
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kikoya:

American TV.... wow. then it must be true

10 years 35 weeks ago
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Mr_spoon:

Ahahahaha.

I have never, EVER seen a man bow to greet a woman.

This is just hilarious.

9 years 4 weeks ago
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MissA:

What a load of crap. I am Aussie and have a load of French friends and flatmates here. Awkwardness always comes when I meet French guys/girls and I stick my hand out to shake theirs and accidentally smack them in the chest as the lean forward to kiss me on the cheek.

9 years 3 weeks ago
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Mr_spoon:

It's just as awkward for us; I never know if I have to shake hands or do the "bise" or what, and the awkwardness never goes away!

 

You'd think a French person would be safe from that in France, but no. Depending on which part of the country you're in, the number of kisses differs. It's usually 2, but sometimes it's one, or three, or more, then it depends who you're doing it with, etc...

So pointlessly confusing.

9 years 3 weeks ago
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10 years 35 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1006

Shifu

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Muslims likely...

Last time I was in France everyone was hugging and kissing each other including the first time they met, so I have no idea what part of France you're from kikoya! I've been going there since 1970 never seen the "polite bow" crap you're talking about but always a handshake , hug or a kiss or all the fore mentioned...

Alex66 sounds like you have a warped reality as well, I come from a place where men and women are equal and we treat them the same, it is a courtesy and a sign of friendship (internationally) so I will make it a point to always try to put my hand out first to either sex. Maybe not where you're from but everywhere else, that is good custom and a sign of good etiquette.

GoldenBoy:

Yet again I have to agree with the Njordster.

10 years 35 weeks ago
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kikoya:

I said that's "how we are supposed to do" in France, doesn't mean people do it. They are different levels of greetings according to social classes the lower classes like to hug and kiss each other (even men) middle classes are more into the handshake. the bow (or the hand kissing as well) are still in use in the upper classes of the french society, the bow being less formal. If you happen to shake hands with a lady at a high society party, expect sidewise glances and sneers and not being talked to for the rest of the evening... Then I guess you haven't been invited to that kind of event in France

10 years 35 weeks ago
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GoldenBoy:

Oh, If that's the case, In England they bow, curtsy, kiss hands and slap each other in the face with a glove when upset. Nobody does those things but they're meant to. I find my comment to be as useless as yours.

10 years 35 weeks ago
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10 years 35 weeks ago
 
Posts: 415

Governor

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Maybe I am getting old!! Wink

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10 years 35 weeks ago
 
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Emperor

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Maybe they know that most people here don't use soap or even wash their hands at all. I know I'm a little nervous when a guy here offers his hand, I don't really want to shake it.

GoldenBoy:

I hear you.

10 years 35 weeks ago
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10 years 35 weeks ago
 
Posts: 650

Shifu

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We bow with hands formed as a fist to each other when we meet... Wink

GoldenBoy:

Whatever, sounds like another thing borrowed from Japan.

10 years 35 weeks ago
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wenna7:

Haha~ Yeah, Chinese is based on Japanese, without Japanese, Chinese people still don't know how to write... We learned everything from them... Tea, Chopstick, Words, Dressing style... That's why we just love Japanese...

10 years 34 weeks ago
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10 years 35 weeks ago
 
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before ladies gave the hand ,now most of them refuse almost the moslims.
some men profit the situation sometimes and catch the hand of the lady for long time.

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10 years 35 weeks ago
 
Posts: 9206

Emperor

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maybe it's the touching? i do not shake hands with women I meet, Shaking hands comes from an old Roman tradition, that shows that you do not have a sword in your hand.
After we had the SARS thing around, I started the '' no touching handshake '', the arm goes up and down but no touching,, usually anyone that practices this new custom with me laughs at the same time... I think it's a good change.

Nessquick:

You mean like in Demolition man, right ? Be good 

9 years 3 weeks ago
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10 years 32 weeks ago
 
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i do the hand shaking and then go immediately to wash my hands again, pain in the ass for a formal dinner, usually if women present they shake hands also.

GuilinRaf:

I hear you!

After living in China for more than six years, I too have grown to not like shaking hands. I have just seen too many men leave the bathroom without washing or only dropping a splash of water on their hands....

9 years 4 weeks ago
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9 years 4 weeks ago
 
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It's same with guys if you are referring to Muslims. It's a matter of religion, man and woman are not allowed to touch except if they either married or unmarriageable related i.e parents, siblings, uncles.

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9 years 4 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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I think in some Muslim countries, and this could also be true for poor rural Chinese, a specific hand is dedicated to wiping your booty in lieu of toilet paper. If thats the case then I don't blame them for not shaking hands.

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9 years 3 weeks ago
 
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No on the contrary my dear goldenboy on the contrary. It has to do with germaphobia. THey are afraid you didn't wash your hands clean enough to stop the transfer of germs from your hand to theirs. 

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9 years 3 weeks ago

There are cookies, bookies and too many rookies for me to sit here trying to be a hooky! Looky Looky don't call me a wooky. Touchy Touchy Feely Feely Spicy Spicy Nicey Nicey & that's what the doctor Ordered!!

 
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