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Q: Why do you need two pillows?

On my second day at work, my boss introduced me to a leasing agent(Chinese male), who was suppose to help me find an apartment. The first day he was really nice and helpful. After looking at three apartments together he asked me if I had a boyfriend and I said yes. I told him that I was married. He then asked me where was my husband and why was he not here in China with me. I gave him some type of excuse about him having a job in the USA and me wanting to travel. The next day, he picked me up from my hotel and told me that I looked beautiful as soon as I walked out of the door. I thanked him and we went to sign the lease agreement. After signing the lease, I told him that I needed to go to a supermarket to buy some necessities. He took me to the Carrefour and followed me around the store for about 15 minutes talking extremely loudly on his phone. I finally told him to stop following me. I was in the bedding section and decided to buy two pillows. As I moved to place the two pillows into the cart, I saw him standing in front of my cart looking agitated. He yelled at me "WHY DO YOU NEED TWO PILLOWS? IT'S JUST ONE OF YOU. YOU ONLY NEED ONE!

 

I was shocked for many reasons and I was thinking: why are you yelling at me, why is this even a question, why are you mad, why is it your business, and why do you have an attitude?

 

I have a king size bed so of course I wanted more than one pillow. Instead of getting angry, I laughed at him because it was funny. He acted strange for the rest of the night and did not speak to me much. The next day when he came to collect his fee, I smiled at him and said hello. He said hello in a very dry voice and turned his head. I think my boss saw the tension because he started smiling at our exchange.

 

I had not been yelled at like that since my military days. Like where else on Earth do sales agents yell at their clients about how many pillows they are suppose to buy? Wow!

 

 

4 years 51 weeks ago in  General  - Shanghai

 
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But, but... don't you understand? If you buy two you're spending money you don't need to and, and... foreigners can't understand how money works !

 

Hell, the guy probably thought he was helping you but I know, crap like that is annoying.

 

I've had similar experiences, like been told again and again by different people that I could save more money every month by living in a shit hole ghetto apartment instead of the pleasant modern place I chose. I actually think that people thought I didn't understand that.

It's different priorities, and locals often can't understand that you don't think the same way they do.

 

Here's some advice for future reference. Whenever you can, keep your private life as private as you can, otherwise when you buy olive oil you'll have people going on at you about how if you buy the recycled gutter oil you can save 2 RMB a month.

 

 

tfuller87:

My co-workers would tell me if you need to order food or things from Taobao let us know and we can help you...just give us the money. But every time I asked them to order something for me, they would say: that is too expensive, you should cook your own food(although they eat out everyday)...blah, blah, blah. So...yes, I will try to separate business from pleasure from now on. Now they think I am weird because I am so private...I try not to even open my packages around them.

4 years 51 weeks ago
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Englteachted:

Make real friends outside of work.

4 years 51 weeks ago
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4 years 51 weeks ago
 
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But, but... don't you understand? If you buy two you're spending money you don't need to and, and... foreigners can't understand how money works !

 

Hell, the guy probably thought he was helping you but I know, crap like that is annoying.

 

I've had similar experiences, like been told again and again by different people that I could save more money every month by living in a shit hole ghetto apartment instead of the pleasant modern place I chose. I actually think that people thought I didn't understand that.

It's different priorities, and locals often can't understand that you don't think the same way they do.

 

Here's some advice for future reference. Whenever you can, keep your private life as private as you can, otherwise when you buy olive oil you'll have people going on at you about how if you buy the recycled gutter oil you can save 2 RMB a month.

 

 

tfuller87:

My co-workers would tell me if you need to order food or things from Taobao let us know and we can help you...just give us the money. But every time I asked them to order something for me, they would say: that is too expensive, you should cook your own food(although they eat out everyday)...blah, blah, blah. So...yes, I will try to separate business from pleasure from now on. Now they think I am weird because I am so private...I try not to even open my packages around them.

4 years 51 weeks ago
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Englteachted:

Make real friends outside of work.

4 years 51 weeks ago
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4 years 51 weeks ago
 
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Chinese guys like that have never actually slept with a woman. They just go to SPA's or massage parlors. So they don't know that some women like to sleep with a pillow between their legs.

 

Also Chinese are easily offended. Combined with the fact that he thinks all foreign women are sluts may have played a role. He may have assumed he was going to sleep with you (most of the guys here are delusional) but when he saw that you were buying 2 pillows, you shattered his fantasy. Of course it's your fault. 

 

Stiggs you're right about the wanting to tell foreigners how to spend their money. but not in this case, next day resentment indicates severe butt hurt. 

Lady next time you meet a guy for business ditch him after the business is done. Especially in China, after signing the lease you had no other business with him, why use him to take you to Carrefour? Shanghai is so easy to get around. 

tfuller87:

You may be on to something because one of the foreign teachers was renting a room within the same apartment as the agent. She said she would knock on his door and there would be two other guys sleeping in bed with him. 

 

As for multiple pillows, I use them for decor and I actually have to sleep on top of them since the mattresses around here are harder than the floors.

4 years 51 weeks ago
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Shining_brow:

You can buy a 'foam' mattress on Taobao for only a few hundred RMB... I was using an air-mattress (also off Taobao - costing about 120RMB) for a few years, until a mate of mine got me the mattress... not looking back!!!

4 years 51 weeks ago
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Shoulda told him the 2nd pillow was for your lesbian lover, the girl off of the Titanic movie.devil

 

chiners are cheapskates at times 'bigly'.  wait until u start noticing all the turned off coolers in every corner restaurant. hope u like pijiu @ room temp ~

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4 years 51 weeks ago
 
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'I travel with the pillow  in my suitcase.'

 

At the moment, I only have one because I left my traveling goose feather 'jen-taou' in Kullu's hotel last February ... will purchase new one at first opp. in UK or EU.

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4 years 51 weeks ago
 
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despite the fact that i have accumulated more than a healthy pile of savings, Chinese people continue to think non-Chinese are not good at saving money.

and do you know what, it is none of their business what you spend your money on and i have no hesitation to tell them that.

Chinese people will always know better than you, despite he fact you have world experience, can be independent and solve simple problems in a fraction of the time they can.

 

don't allow co-workers into your private life or space.

they are poor at respecting personal boundaries, and once you allow them in, it is impossible to get them out - and they will share all they have learnt with everyone.

they are as nosey as hell.

 

 

as regards the shouting - they have a short fuse when confronted with logic, reason or common sense, especially when they think you have made them 'lose face'

they are just emotionally still children and have as much control as a five-year old who has had their candy taken away from them.

 

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4 years 51 weeks ago
 
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"Two pillows"..and yet your country invented the bamboo wife?

Actually the array of pillows is quite fascinating in China..You have them filled with charcoal and bamboo and wheat..I tried a few different kinds before going back to down pillows.

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4 years 51 weeks ago
 
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Best advice: Englishteachted … next time you meet a guy for business ditch him after the business is done. Especially in China,
Blondie …don't allow co-workers into your private life or space.
they are poor at respecting personal boundaries..

I would also add that people telling you that you are beautiful is meaningless. They say it to everyone. Basically, you need to ignore 90% of what people say to you because it is just preprogrammed bullshit. They just think they are being nice. When they get to know you better you will go from "wahhh, so beautiful" to "wahhh why you so fat?"

icnif77:

'ha-maa-pi' means 'you are beautiful'  ... I think 

4 years 51 weeks ago
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to raise her bottom up to the correct level.

icnif77:

and you're with hokey knee pads on ... 

4 years 51 weeks ago
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