The place to ask China-related questions!
Beijing Shanghai Guangzhou Shenzhen Chengdu Xi'an Hangzhou Qingdao Dalian Suzhou Nanjing More Cities>>

Categories

Close
Welcome to eChinacities Answers! Please or register if you wish to join conversations or ask questions relating to life in China. For help, click here.
X

Verify email

Your verification code has been sent to:

Didn`t receive your code? Resend code

By continuing you agree to eChinacities's Privacy Policy .

Sign up with Google Sign up with Facebook
Sign up with Email Already have an account? .
Posts: 2240

Shifu

10
2
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
12

Q: Why I feel embarrassed to point it out even when people are rude to me?

The boss has been rude to me for not calling me for lunch while everyone gets free company lunch to eat.

 

But I feel embarrassed to confront and tell him how rude he is to me.

 

One day, I saw him taking all employees have lunch in a resturant during lunch break. I feel embarrassed to meet them by random during lunch break. I did not do anything wrong but I feel embarrassed for meet them while I am not invited for lunch.

 

I wonder if there's anything wrong with my personality.

 

I just pretend he did not treat me rude and keep working there.

6 years 4 weeks ago in  General  - China

 
Highest Voted
Posts: 3837

Emperor

7
7
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Inadequate and self-absorbed people are a dose. No-one likes them. Their behaviour is transparent - their "justifications" are obvious to all. It's always rooted in their own heads/insecurities. Frequently, they are engaged in "imaginings" and rarely hesitate to ‘share’ their "imaginings."

 

For example, I have on occasion found myself treated badly on more than one occasion by someone who was inadequate and jealous of something they thought I did, but in fact, didn't do at all!

 

The key point here is that it is your job to manage your own self and your own emotions...and it is not reasonable to make your emotions somebody else's problem. It's an attention seeking behaviour, a bid to force someone who was happily going about their own business to interact with your neediness and lack of self-worth. That's not fair, or reasonable, which is why other people don't like it.

 

The rest of us have just as many emotions and emotional experiences, we just do a better job of self-management. We don't feel any less deeply. We don't experience the world any less profoundly. and we certainly don’t feel the need to tell total strangers (on a public forum) ad-nasueum, every detail of our lives.

 

People who are naturally contented are busy living their own lives are not looking around in a desperate comparison war out of some kind of desperation/neediness/lack of self-worth...which inevitably the inadequate/frustrated person loses because they compare their miserable internal emotions and the fact they feel terrible with the external life (what the other person is presenting, or seems to be presenting, as viewed through the prism of self-absorbtion) of somebody else.

 

Incidentally, friendships and relationships are built on reciprocity. So, if you want someone to be happy and sympathetic to you and your problems, you're going to have to be happy and sympathetic to them, in life.

 

Viki,

there is a very simple step if you want forum users here to stop making comments about you: STOP POSTING.

Every response you get from your posts is SELF INFLICTED. Just walk away before you have no dignity left. STOP POSTING. No-one has forced you to expose your private life online, YOU voluntarily do it. So if you don't want people to know about your life STOP POSTING.

Viki87:

Again, you are posting yourself likes you know everything and perfect.

 

Stop following my posts.

6 years 4 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
6 years 4 weeks ago
 
Answers (6)
Comments (12)
Posts: 5156

Emperor

0
7
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
7

Chinese are bred to not stand up for themselves so they won't challenge the govt. 

icnif77:

Tits is rough today ....

6 years 4 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
6 years 4 weeks ago
 
Posts: 902

Shifu

3
3
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

This is an aspect of China that surprised me when I first arrived, seven years ago. The sheer apathy of people, they do not care about poor service, low quality goods, rude people, they do not care about anything. The wife of one of my friends, nice lady but good example of this, said when he wanted to complain about the terrible decorating job at his apartment, I know it is not good but do not make trouble. My wife used to say, "this is China what can you do". I told her if no-one complains nothing changes, she is more vociferous now. For f**ks sake Vicki stand up for yourself, you are confident enough to steal customers from your boss but too scared to call them out on rudeness. To answer your question yes there is something seriously wrong with your personality.

Viki87:

I think I'm a coward.crying

Must be affected by the Chinese society

6 years 4 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Viki87:

I hate my boss. Everybody I'm there to steal customers.

 

Probally the Chinese society made me a coward. Maybe I'll call him rude after I stole enough customers to support myself and resign from the job

6 years 4 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
6 years 4 weeks ago
 
Posts: 3868

Emperor

2
3
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
1

Me me me me me.....

 

me me me me me.....

 

me me me me me....

 

I see you're still trying to get your self banned Vicky so all your embarrassing old posts are also deleted. I've advised admin to just block you from posting but leave your account her. Seems nothing has been done yet. Admin probably too busy working out how to bring back the 4 weeks of posts that have gone missing.

DirkBourne:

Come on Admin, sort it!

6 years 4 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Viki87:

My second customer has placed me the order. Viki is getting successful now.Lalala I'll print my name on many products latter, like trump did:))))

6 years 4 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
6 years 4 weeks ago
 
Posts: 3837

Emperor

7
7
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Inadequate and self-absorbed people are a dose. No-one likes them. Their behaviour is transparent - their "justifications" are obvious to all. It's always rooted in their own heads/insecurities. Frequently, they are engaged in "imaginings" and rarely hesitate to ‘share’ their "imaginings."

 

For example, I have on occasion found myself treated badly on more than one occasion by someone who was inadequate and jealous of something they thought I did, but in fact, didn't do at all!

 

The key point here is that it is your job to manage your own self and your own emotions...and it is not reasonable to make your emotions somebody else's problem. It's an attention seeking behaviour, a bid to force someone who was happily going about their own business to interact with your neediness and lack of self-worth. That's not fair, or reasonable, which is why other people don't like it.

 

The rest of us have just as many emotions and emotional experiences, we just do a better job of self-management. We don't feel any less deeply. We don't experience the world any less profoundly. and we certainly don’t feel the need to tell total strangers (on a public forum) ad-nasueum, every detail of our lives.

 

People who are naturally contented are busy living their own lives are not looking around in a desperate comparison war out of some kind of desperation/neediness/lack of self-worth...which inevitably the inadequate/frustrated person loses because they compare their miserable internal emotions and the fact they feel terrible with the external life (what the other person is presenting, or seems to be presenting, as viewed through the prism of self-absorbtion) of somebody else.

 

Incidentally, friendships and relationships are built on reciprocity. So, if you want someone to be happy and sympathetic to you and your problems, you're going to have to be happy and sympathetic to them, in life.

 

Viki,

there is a very simple step if you want forum users here to stop making comments about you: STOP POSTING.

Every response you get from your posts is SELF INFLICTED. Just walk away before you have no dignity left. STOP POSTING. No-one has forced you to expose your private life online, YOU voluntarily do it. So if you don't want people to know about your life STOP POSTING.

Viki87:

Again, you are posting yourself likes you know everything and perfect.

 

Stop following my posts.

6 years 4 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
6 years 4 weeks ago
 
Posts: 3868

Emperor

4
4
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Vicky - you asked a question on your first post "I wonder if there's anything wrong with my personality."?

 

Sorrel gave you a very detailed reply to which you rudely answered ""Again, you are posting yourself likes you know everything and perfect. Stop following my posts."

 

SHE WAS ANSWERING YOUR QUESTION!

 

Sorrel was absolutely right. I'm going to copy what she wrote...read it and take notice!

 

There is a very simple step if you want forum users here to stop making comments about you: STOP POSTING.

 

Every response you get from your posts is SELF INFLICTED. Just walk away before you have no dignity left. STOP POSTING. No-one has forced you to expose your private life online, YOU voluntarily do it. So if you don't want people to know about your life STOP POSTING.

philbravery:

@hotwater. ..Mate...The funniest part is that people still answer the questions. ..it's like one of those dredfull reality tv shows that people flock to...lol

6 years 4 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Viki87:

Sorrel? that loser?

 

Why should I follow a loser's advice?

 

Funny as I have  told many times, you can give advice, but no need to give me insults while giving advice. No one appreciate that advice with bad name calling. That is the reason why i attached you stupid arrogant people on this forum. That is so logical to understand but looks like your low IQ isn't capable to understand the basic logic.

 

 

 

 

6 years 3 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Viki87:

Dignity? Are you talking about dignity online?

 

My life isn't bound online. Only losers do.

Does it mean I lost my dignity because some close minded loser judged me and attacked me online? Of course not. I will just sit there and laughing at you losers. Btw. Sorrel why are you still doing in China? Can't able to land a good job in your own country or too ugly to find a man there? I do not try to be rude, but I do not see that I have to be polite to someone who called me bad name.

6 years 3 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Hotwater:

Ah Vicky, you are so blind. Sorrel gave you good advice and did not insult you. You've again clearly chosen to ignore people here.

 

I won't be replying to you anymore.

6 years 3 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Viki87:

Check all the she wrote in the past, she called me something like whore. Fuck that bitch

She will say she's giving advice, but I do not appreicate her advice while she's doing bad name calling on me.I have told it again and again for many times, oh well, you people seem do not understand it. No one deserves to get bad name calling while receivign advice. I do not, so pls save all the shits to yourself.

6 years 3 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Blondie_:

i see Viki has reverted to type with her 'colourful language'

well done ECC for allowing this from her AGAIN 

 

(I believe Viki was already banned twice before for this sort of personal attack)

6 years 3 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
6 years 4 weeks ago
 
Know the answer ?
Please or register to post answer.

Report Abuse

Security Code: * Enter the text diplayed in the box below
Image CAPTCHA
Enter the characters shown in the image.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <img> <br> <p> <u>
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • Textual smileys will be replaced with graphical ones.

More information about formatting options

Forward Question

Answer of the DayMORE >>
A:  "... through ..."?  Only "through" comes to mind is "S
A: "... through ..."?  Only "through" comes to mind is "Shenzhen agent can connect you with an employer, who's authorized to hire waigouren ... and can sponsor Z visa." It's not like every 10th person you meet in Shenzhen's hood can sponsor work visa ...  The only way to change student visa to labourer one is just a regular way by: 1. Finding an employer, who'll apply for an Invitation letter; 2. Exit China and apply for Z visa in your home country's Chinese embassy; 3. Enter China in 30-days after Z visa was stamped into your travelling instrument ...As I am aware, you won't be able to switch to Working permit by remaining in China....,so make ready for a return to your home .... -- icnif77