By continuing you agree to eChinacities's Privacy Policy .
Sign up with Google
Sign up with Facebook
Q: Why is it wrong here for men to make household decisions?
Had an argument with my girlfriend the other night. We live together (apartment is paid by me) and we'd gotten a new piece of furniture, which seemed to cause a chain reaction in my girlfriend, who immediately wanted to change the order of everything in the apartment.
I simply shook my head and said no. It wasn't necessary and it made little sense. I told her as much and she went mental, telling me I shouldn't 'waste my energies' on such 'trivial' things as the order and placement of furniture.
I guess this is a Chinese thing, where it's considered embarassing for men to care of such 'trivialities'?
That is just her way of telling you to shut up and let her do what she wants. By telling you that the decision is beneath you, it would then cause you to lose face if you tried to interfere. Lots of girls try to use this trick.
Basically, in China, the woman is the ruler inside the house. There is a saying in Chinese that translates to: "Be a lady in public, a Tigress at home and a whore in the bedroom."
Kolbol:
You know the Chinese characters for that? - I'd love to drop my girlfriend an 'anonymous' note
For the most part, it is usually us that will have to do the majority of the adapting, granted we are ususally in their homeland, still though they need to be open minded about being with people from other cultures, just my 2 cents.
My Chinese husband gets mad if i make all the decisions in the household. So no i don't think all chinese men and woman are this way. It depends which part of china they come from. Where my husband comes from, it is mostly the men who make the decisions. I also agree with straw_manNz, that they need to be open minded with people from other cultures, just as we need to be open minded about theirs. My husband and i always try to meet in the middle. I never force my culture on him and he doesnt force his culture on me.
Mine started moving the furniture around. When I told her it was not really necesarry she stared at me while I explained why. Then, she turned and continued moving the funiture anyway!
She did ask me to help her move the bed and the sofa, but after that she shooed me out of the apartment.
That was last year.
