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Q: Why the leftovers?
Why were those women left aside in the first place? Why didn't they succeed at finding the right husband in a country with 40+ millions more men than women.
What we know, leftover women tend to be highly educated (post-graduate education) and... that's about it.
Two possibilities come to my mind:
-Chinese men don't like highly educated women.
-Those women have too high demands from men.
What do you think are the reasons for the leftover women phenomenon in a country that has so many more men?
Generalization alert.
The term 'leftover women' was coined by the All China Women's Federation in a (fairly successful) attempt to shame educated women into marrying the millions of 'leftover men' who are a product of the enlightened One Child Policy and find themselves without a potential partner. Or to shame women into being less educated than they would want to be.
Women are now in a bind: they want to be educated, but lose their 'value' if there are too educated or more educated than the available men - which is most of them, given that the top educated men seen as ideal marriage material are becoming as rare as hen's teeth.
Yet at the same time women are doing themselves no favour by being grasping and mercenary, with them and their families pursuing only high-salary men in order to be seen as of value to their families. Men who will probably only value them for their looks or family connections. (Looks which, when they fade, the husband will probably be in pursuit of the younger mistress or two)
Nor do they do themselves any favour when the family demands a high 'bride-price', a tradition that fell out of favour during Mao's time only to come back with a vengeance.
Equally, the posturing and overall coquettish behaviour of the single women in their late 20's is somewhat grotesque as they become more desperate to fulfill a fairly dysfunctional role in society.
Once they marry and squeeze out the next generation, essentially their job is done as grandparents take over child-rearing for the most part. Then probably the husband won't care too much about her as they did not marry because of compatibility or emotional stability/maturity as a couple, and they realise they can't stand each other, having married too fast.
Emotional blackmail is used on all sides telling any single woman that she is not doing her duty if she doesn't marry, and that having a child over the age of 30 is unhealthy. (BS by the way.)
Top marks China
Lord_hanson:
Sorrel beat me to it. It is the left over men that is the problem. As mentioned a comittee that should be supporting women coined the.term left over women so Chinese men didn't lose face. Perhaps these educated women are smart enough to know that you don't have to marry to be happy. Waiting to find someone you truely love is better than marrying the first person your parents push in front of you.
its just peer pressure brainwashing of the boys by their family, you cant have a woman smarter or making more money than you do, other men will laugh at you and you will have no respect.
why anybody cares what other people think when strangers leave you bleeding in the street and kids abandon you when you become elderly, is the most bizarre irony i see in china, listen to people's wise bullshit diatribes that would not lift a finger for you when you are ever in need,
For the same reason as in any other country I think, career first.
Its just unfortunate that the 30 year old wall exists in China.
In other countries people can establish their career, then marry later. That of course leads to different issues, such as 40 year olds doing endless ivf treatments etc.
I just responded to a topic about dilated pupils, which is a strikingly similar question that has the same answer. Women attract men by appearing vulnerable. Whether the men become interested because they want to protect or take advantage of an opportunity, is debatable. But this is how the dating game is played all over the world. If you don't make an effort to look vulnerable, it will be more difficult to attract men. The educated women probably focused too much on the rest of their lives, and neglected this somewhat important aspect.
That said, I can't blame them. Chinese men and families are still very traditional, applying tremendous pressure on the woman to bear a child and be funneled into the mother role. Something women should be free to avoid if they don't want it.
China has an excess of men due to the rigid patrilineal system. It also has an abundance of people due to Chairman Mao's "go forth and multiply" decree. The women who choose their carreer (first) should not be blamed for not helping solving the country's problems.
It's the same as calling women who marry foreigners a traitor. It's just unfortunate Chinese men whining about their inability to land a partner, blaming everyone except themselves and their society. Nobody has a right to marry and have children - it's just something that might or might not happen in a lifetime.
If given the choice between a Chinese Hubby/bf or Ebola, what would you chose ? At least Ebola has a 10% survival rate.
-Chinese men don't like highly educated women.
-Those women have too high demands from men.
These are both true. Chinese men don't want educated women.
And the women have high demands and standards, so they're only willing to marry someone smarter, and with more money than them. Unfortunately for them, all the rich guys know that a rural woman makes a much better wife than someone brought up in a city.
xinyuren:
True, in almost every case, highly educated people have higher standards. This makes it less likely to find a compatible mate. Add to the equation the unreasonable assumption by the Chinese that an older woman loses her value, and you have a growing pool of leftover women. This is in spite of the fact that women are a rare commodity in China due to the unreasonable belief that boys in general are more valuable than girls. While value is definitely determined by the beholder, this is a case of a country shooting itself in the foot.
Generalization alert.
The term 'leftover women' was coined by the All China Women's Federation in a (fairly successful) attempt to shame educated women into marrying the millions of 'leftover men' who are a product of the enlightened One Child Policy and find themselves without a potential partner. Or to shame women into being less educated than they would want to be.
Women are now in a bind: they want to be educated, but lose their 'value' if there are too educated or more educated than the available men - which is most of them, given that the top educated men seen as ideal marriage material are becoming as rare as hen's teeth.
Yet at the same time women are doing themselves no favour by being grasping and mercenary, with them and their families pursuing only high-salary men in order to be seen as of value to their families. Men who will probably only value them for their looks or family connections. (Looks which, when they fade, the husband will probably be in pursuit of the younger mistress or two)
Nor do they do themselves any favour when the family demands a high 'bride-price', a tradition that fell out of favour during Mao's time only to come back with a vengeance.
Equally, the posturing and overall coquettish behaviour of the single women in their late 20's is somewhat grotesque as they become more desperate to fulfill a fairly dysfunctional role in society.
Once they marry and squeeze out the next generation, essentially their job is done as grandparents take over child-rearing for the most part. Then probably the husband won't care too much about her as they did not marry because of compatibility or emotional stability/maturity as a couple, and they realise they can't stand each other, having married too fast.
Emotional blackmail is used on all sides telling any single woman that she is not doing her duty if she doesn't marry, and that having a child over the age of 30 is unhealthy. (BS by the way.)
Top marks China
Lord_hanson:
Sorrel beat me to it. It is the left over men that is the problem. As mentioned a comittee that should be supporting women coined the.term left over women so Chinese men didn't lose face. Perhaps these educated women are smart enough to know that you don't have to marry to be happy. Waiting to find someone you truely love is better than marrying the first person your parents push in front of you.
High demanding is the key reason.
For example,they tend to find men make more than they do,but I don't think its easy when the women are educated and making good income.
Second educated women have more demanding on guy's personality and lifestyle I guess.
Third,if the women who looks hot,educated and making good income will tend to be very picky usually.
I often heard you guys said average looking girls are usually more humble. Thats true. But what make them humble just because they do not have things to be arrogant and picky. Well,the truth is cruel. I am sure most of those humble girls will be not humble anymore if they get a good appearances or something else very competitable.
Hulk:
My wife was told her demand was completely unreasonable and, "too restrictive."
Her demand was simply this: doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, and will treat me good.
Everyone, including her female friends, told her she'd never find a man like that in "all China."
I am sure if any of those women read this the first reaction will be... Wtf is YOUR problem? (a bunch of foreigners discussing the issue not at all related to their existence in this country)
As much as I've heard in last 6 months... first, I feel the term "leftover women" is just too damn offensive. I never heard much about "leftover men" except on this forum (why?)
These reasons seems about right...
-Chinese men don't like highly educated women.
-Those women have too high demands from men.
I don't know why the men would not like highly educated women, I would rather love to be with a intelligent and self independent women.
about women so what if they have high standards for men? its good they should be with the one they want...
ScotsAlan:
But as Sorrel says above, this is not a term that men invented to have a go at women, it was the All-China Womans federation that came up with it. It's a woman against woman thing.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheng_nu
I suppose it would be rather like the UKs Womans Institute having a go at working mums.
Eorthisio:
Yes, you are fairly new to China, give it some time and you will understand that everyone's business is Chinese business and that Chinese business is everyone else's business.
sorrel:
the All China Women's Federation were tasked by the government with overseeing the harsh One Child Policy and used it role to invasively monitor women's reproductive lives and force abortions that has contribute to the skewed gender balance.
as ScotsAlan says, it is like the WI pressuring women on family size and career aspirations: ("get back to the kitchen sink")
With the support of state media, the ACWF has effectively become just another organ to promote state policy which at present is well aware of the unstable situation created by the 'leftover men': men who are for the most part are uneducated and have little to lose.
How better to try and fix the situation than have an organisation supposedly there to champion women's rights to undermine any confidence women can have to aspire for lives of their own?
Dress it up in 'tradition' and you get girls and women receiving dysfuntional messages.
The women who were arrested (and released) recently trying to raise awareness of inequality issues had little to no support from the ACWF.
China is all about tradition.traditionally woman has to get married at the age of 16-22, be a sex slave to man,born plenty of children & raise them.apart from 10%of population rest of the population still in this kind of tradition. when it comes to educated woman they can't accept.I agree that some of them are picky but not everyone.
In Suburbs or town woman still get married at the age of 16+ although its illegal.
603921935:
Wtf.Why should I ? I'm living in China not in India. if you.don't have answer then don't show your sarcasm..
