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Q: Why many chinese are so judging?
Many chinese people told me you should get wealthy then you can go to travling.The manager in my company told you will get nothing after travling,because she said no one will think a travler will be good in the socity,she said I should live a life the socity wants me to.She only think she is right.The mind diffrent from her is wrong.
I would say kind of funny mind.Too judging,right?People are diffrent,you can't say another life is wrong because your life is not like that.
How you think about it?
Hi Victoria,
1. Your manager is bitter because she isn't living a fulfilling life. She would rather keep other people down than imagine anyone else escaping from drudgery - Being more independent, adventurous, experienced or (god forbid) happy.
2. Chinese society is toxic and soul-destroying. People like your manager will always ridicule and censure others for acting independently or achieving happiness. You need to act without reference to such negative, oppressive, narrow-minded views.
3. Living in other countries really opens people's minds and gives them perspective. It make people realise how trivial their own country's preoccupations and prejudices are.
Victoria1987:
It is true,I don't really care how the socity thinks about me.Am always live the way I want,which I feel very happy.
This is the product of your "excellent" education system.
You can not let someone live your life for you. Some people may have your best interests in mind for you , others not. It doesn't hurt to listen to people, but it doesn't mean you have to obey them. Some people don't like to travel for many reasons. Maybe their travel experience is limited. Travel can be tiring, long rides or flights boring and maybe uncomfortable. I recently went to Dominican Republic and on the flight home, I have never been in such tight cramped seats.
There are many wonderful places to see and foods to enjoy. Usually when I travel, by the time I come home, I've had enough of where I was and I'm glad to be home. I went to Dominican because it was still winter in Canada and I wanted to see if I'd like to stay there next winter, no. I want to see the Philippines next trip and then on to China. China has been a place that I never wanted to leave. I have never traveled to another country and not wanted to come home.
BHGAL:
you and the Carribean.... I was on a plane one time,,,, the flipping door was open, Puerto Rico to Virgin Islands .........I was in the back seat too, could've just unbuckled and walked out .................... and on the GOOSE .... suspect you know the goose ..... I had ankle deep water on landing.... I love it!!!
You can only truly know where you are by leaving. If you never see the rest of the world you will never know how China really is. You are told everything in China is the best and everything everywhere is utter crap. This is not completely true, but for a regime like the Chinese, the illusion of perfection is more important that reality.
You manager sounds like a small-minded twat. Maybe her thinking is simply she doesn't want to lose an employee by letting her go travel, but asking you to stay put could mean she will lose you to the neighboring company.
Note. A manager can prevent you from travelling. Visa applications for EU will in some cases require a statement from your employer saying you are allowed to travel.
People have different beliefs and values the world over. One human being having a different set of opinions than another human being is life. Get used to it. If somebody is really high and mighty about their own opinions then simply don't share your ideas with them.
Oh, and by wealthy do you mean rich? Sorry I am a bit confused. Can you tell me the difference between the two?
Victoria1987:
When I say wealthy,it is not really rich,it is have enough money to live in hotel when travling instead of living in the hostel.
Victoria1987:
Well she is the manager,I firgure I won't share my opinion with her again,or it might not good for me to keep the job.She can lives in her world.I will just keep silent if she gives her narrow idears out again.
SoFresh:
Victoria,
To be fair aren't you also being narrow by just shooting down her views and thinking there's no valid points to it?
I personally think you both have valid points, but you are both also a bit hard headed in refusing to take in any aspect of another persons opionon just because it differs from your own.
Victoria1987:
I didn't say it is wrong to be wealthy enough to live in good hotel when travling.But she throught mine is wrong.
Hi Victoria,
1. Your manager is bitter because she isn't living a fulfilling life. She would rather keep other people down than imagine anyone else escaping from drudgery - Being more independent, adventurous, experienced or (god forbid) happy.
2. Chinese society is toxic and soul-destroying. People like your manager will always ridicule and censure others for acting independently or achieving happiness. You need to act without reference to such negative, oppressive, narrow-minded views.
3. Living in other countries really opens people's minds and gives them perspective. It make people realise how trivial their own country's preoccupations and prejudices are.
Victoria1987:
It is true,I don't really care how the socity thinks about me.Am always live the way I want,which I feel very happy.
Victoria, if I wasn't already married I would marry you. It is so good to come across Chinese who have an open enquiring mind, please spread your thinking far and wide. China really needs people like you. Enjoy your travels and have a great life.
happywanderer:
Totally agree. And falling in love again is a beautiful thing.
Victoria,
A proverb
"Don't tell me what a man says, don't tell me what he knows but tell me where he has traveled"
Victoria1987:
It is a she:)I don't kown where she has been travling.
Well the lady does have a valid point that if you travel too much before establishing a career it can really hurt you in the future when you want to settle down back home and get a job. I've seen numerous people who just pack up their bags and travel around the globe for 5+ years and then return home and can't get a job because they haven't had any real "career" for the last 5 years. So that lady is right in that sense.
I do also agree though traveling is a great thing that everyone should experience and it's a shame when people throw their whole lives away working a 9 to 5 and never experience the thrill of traveling.
I think both of you make valid points and it's just a difference of opionon. Nothing wrong with that.
My advice to most people would be either 1) travel when you are young so when you are finished you're still young enough to start a career or 2) Travel once you have a career and are finincally stable...... The one time I would say to not travel is if you are middle aged and still don't have a career established, that's when traveling can really hurt you.
chinese society is designed to force people to be the same. it is designed to force people to accept what the gov tells them. that means do not go anywhere to learn the truth. this is accomplished through "judging" those who do not conform .
It really depends on what you mean by traveling. If you're talking about traveling during a holiday or a break, of course that's fine.
If you're talking about taking 5 years off to travel around before you've established a solid career and are finincally stable. Then yes it's true that traveling that long will hurt your job oppturnities when you are finished and a lot of people will look at you as someone who just wasted 5 years. Sad but true.
in those ppl's mind, money is only important thing.
Traveling is nothing, love is nothing,etc
JaneLeee:
Not really,they just want to have a secure and peaceful life .
LAR:
"Not really.................peaceful life." That's a bunch of garbage.
it's a mystery - you need to travel first to know you don't need to travel
but if you never travel you won't know that
Without going out of your door
You can know all things of earth
Without looking out of your window
You could know the ways of heaven
The farther one travels
The less one knows
The less one really knows
Arrive without travelling
See all without looking
Do all without doing
It seems the question is why your supervisor is so juding. It varies from ppl to ppl.
Actually the chinese tourists have rised up significantly year after year.
"she said I should live a life the socity wants me to"
"Don't be a fool, become a tool!"
But seriously, that's good thinking. I mean, don't widen your horizons, don't set the bar higher, don't push the envelope, knowledge is for losers and curiosity for retards, stick to being a nobody in society without ever thinking outside the box or trying to improve anything, follow like a sheep, do what you're told to do, and you'll be just like all of our history's greatest minds!
Oh wait...
Maybe there's no why. Is just that's the way things are in China, that's the way most of people is. Judging from appearance or how much money you have, perhaps that's coming from 5000 years of history.
Victoria1987:
She is quite wealthy.And buy house in Shanghai.She like judging,she thinks her opinion is right,mine is just wrong.She thinks spend hundreds rmb to buy dress is too cheaper and she looks down my my dress from ONLY store.I wear cheaper dress compare to hers.But still I look much better than her wearing expensive dress.My dress is not expensive but is quite suitable to me and the quality is good.She always like money,money,money and juding people.
She is very boring...She was born 1986,quite young actually,but just to hard to be with a person like her.
She think herself is much better their other person because she is wealthy and can make good money.If I stay in my old company in Zhejiang,I would be weathy already.But people have diffrent life to pursure,life is not just about money.I don't like people are so juding,it makes me sick.
i had a chinese teacher at a high school that had traveled to over 10 countries and nobody at the school knew anything about it, she never discussed it because of gossip and jealousy from others, she only talked to foreigners about her travels, her visa problems with employee letter was avoided because she had attended university for 4 years in england, after that, they never asked for anything for her visas since she had returned to china, sometimes she had to put up a deposit for a travel tour for about 50000 rmb.
Misery loves company, sounds like she wants yours. I believe that you should establish yourself in a career you are happy with but traveling is learning, you should find your fit in this world and sometimes the only way to do that is explore.
