By continuing you agree to eChinacities's Privacy Policy .
Sign up with Google
Sign up with Facebook
Q: Why men are so shy?
I want to meet a foreign guy, almost when I am walking, in the street of Shanghai,seldom a expat will approach to me.Some just turns around to look at me.But still no talking?
Why foreign men are so shy?
All they can say is hi
I feel some are attracted by me,but they are too shy to approach me
11 years 34 weeks ago in Relationships - China
I was taught that it was creepy for a guy to just talk to a girl he passes on the street. I am not shy, I am just polite.
Victoria1987:
But I don't think it is creepy to talk to girls in the street,the ones told you that is a narrow one.It is good to be liked by men,it means I am attractive,if he is the type I like,I will give him my number,why not?He might be a nice guy also.
If I dont like,I will say thank you.But I am sorry.
Xpat.John:
haha. The one that taught me that was my mother. And I am old and ugly, no girl would want to date me anyway.
Victoria1987:
I dont see your mom is wise about that.It is very good to be asked number from men.Which makes girls happy.
Victoria1987:
It is nothing about how u look.It is a good thing to be liked by someone.if a man tell me he wants to sleep with me still will make me happy.Why?That means I am sexy.
But sure,I will feel happy,but wont sleep with the man.
Generally,girls do export business jobs see things openly.
Xpat.John:
Here is a tip to making foreign friends: Never say something that isn't positive about their parents unless you know them very, very well, even if it is true.
Victoria1987:
Sorry if I make you unhappy.Cause we see things diffrent
:
i agree with you ( Xpact.jhon ),my mother taught me the same thing when i was young and i still remember it
GhostMan:
Victoria, John is just a little sensitive. You can say someone's parent is wrong about something to expats without most of us being upset about it. My mom taught me a lot of things about talking to women that were wrong :)
I used to be really shy around women that I really liked. Then I smartened up. Experience I guess. Maybe the expats have girl friends. If that is the case then they aren't looking to meet a girl. We like to look at women in either case.
Victoria1987:
Man,sometimes I want to write:I am free .on my forehead to let expats approach to me.Okay,just jokes
TedDBayer:
But you might want it printed ''available'', free is good but can mean no charge.
Victoria1987:
I better bring you together,which will makes the show funny
Come to Shanghai,I will pick u up on pudong airport
maybe because they feel insecure with beautiful Chinese girls 
Victoria1987:
Why feel insecure,beautiful girls can be faithful also.It is nothing wrong to be beautiful,normal looking gals get bf,I get nothing
I happen to kown a normal looking chinese girl is seeing other man while she has her German boyfriend who wants to marry her.
you are a woman.right?!!!!..............we men also ask the same question.......Why women are shy?!!!!..........concidence...........Yeah?!!!!!
Victoria1987:
Yes,I am a young woman,I am very shy.So I want men to be brave to tell me how they feel.
Createach:
Do you want to know what i feel or think?!!!!!..........i think you are on this forum trying to find someone special..............you looking for love on this forum.......right?!!!!!..........you see?!!!!................Not all the men are shy
Createach:
Shy?!!!!.........Lady.......I think you are breaking the rules here......IN a good way........."shy" is not you middle name for sure.....God Luck finding that Expat you searching for
I was taught that it was creepy for a guy to just talk to a girl he passes on the street. I am not shy, I am just polite.
Victoria1987:
But I don't think it is creepy to talk to girls in the street,the ones told you that is a narrow one.It is good to be liked by men,it means I am attractive,if he is the type I like,I will give him my number,why not?He might be a nice guy also.
If I dont like,I will say thank you.But I am sorry.
Xpat.John:
haha. The one that taught me that was my mother. And I am old and ugly, no girl would want to date me anyway.
Victoria1987:
I dont see your mom is wise about that.It is very good to be asked number from men.Which makes girls happy.
Victoria1987:
It is nothing about how u look.It is a good thing to be liked by someone.if a man tell me he wants to sleep with me still will make me happy.Why?That means I am sexy.
But sure,I will feel happy,but wont sleep with the man.
Generally,girls do export business jobs see things openly.
Xpat.John:
Here is a tip to making foreign friends: Never say something that isn't positive about their parents unless you know them very, very well, even if it is true.
Victoria1987:
Sorry if I make you unhappy.Cause we see things diffrent
:
i agree with you ( Xpact.jhon ),my mother taught me the same thing when i was young and i still remember it
GhostMan:
Victoria, John is just a little sensitive. You can say someone's parent is wrong about something to expats without most of us being upset about it. My mom taught me a lot of things about talking to women that were wrong :)
In many western countries children are taught from a very young age not to talk to strangers on the street, and that just stays with you as an adult. It is just not natural for a westerner to go up to a total stranger on the street and start a conversation. If we want to meet new people we go to places where it is socially acceptable to speak to strangers, like bars, or joining a club(language exchange, sports club, book club).
Victoria1987:
But streets have all typies of guys for me to pick one up
you need to learn the proper body language to invite a guy to talk to you. look at him (eye contact) pleasantly and smile. a gentleman will not enter unless he feels invited.
crimochina:
practice in the mirror in the mornings. but remember to stop walking when looking back at a guy. do not walk into a pole, i 've seen that a few times. practice flirting with your eyes.
stan118:
i came a cross an article on this website, about a chinese women who just got back from studying abroad and now has a 300k rmb salary job in china and seems like she was really desperate to look for a husband and she went on the street and advertised herself and she had several body guards with her and the banner said she is looking for a husband who is down to earth and understands life.
after a whole day standing around advertising herself, lots of people stopped and stared and not 1 guy bother to go and talk to her, and now you tell me western men are shy???
As others have said, we may not be shy. We just can't say hi to every women we pass in the street. I see beautiful women almost daily that really catch my attention, even if they smile at me, but I just am still not impelled most the time to approach her. It is easier when we can start talking to a girl of interest who we meet though others, or at a social gathering where we are both attending.
Every girlfriend I have ever been with has been with a girl that has approached me and showed her interest in me clearly. So maybe you just have to start the conversation with them.
Victoria1987:
I want to start a conversation,but just I am too shy and not really confidence about myself.I am very talktive in front of strnagers I meet,but I am very shy in front of the guys who catch my eyes
.My father is right,I am useless on looking for a manJungleLife:
Yes, it may be difficult, but you have nothing to lose and you can practice your English.
It's because this woman called Germaine Greer came along (may have been one or two before her come to think of it) and started pointing out that women are not the weaker sex, they are equals. It's easy to approach someone you think is beneath you but faced with a real woman and us men are only posturing boys. Find a man among us, he'll meet your eye.
Shy? Most foriegn men are total pervs.
crimochina:
no no no no no the ccp party line is all foreign men are pervs and all chinese men are total gentlemen . bad wumao i'm reporting you to our superiors!!!
LAR:
"Most foreign men are total pervs." Wrong! Stupid and offensive comment! :(
"Some just turns around to look at me.But still no talking?"
Because when they see you they get so shocked of how fugly you actually are that they can´t utter a single word
"Because...........................word." Oh, that was really nice of you. How rude.
Victoria1987:
Thanks,man.You are smarter than many guys on this forum
Laoban... the next time you see a cute guy looking back at you why don't you smile and wave and see what happens from there?
Victoria1987:
Today,when I am on way to the resturant,I met a young expat,he seems smile to me,then I smile him back,but in a shy way.But nothing happens out there.
Victoria1987:
Today a expat smiled to me in the street(II feel like that,not sure yet),then I smiled back in a shy way,but he didnt come to me.
vman111:
It seems to me that you are in too much of a rush to find a man. Just relax and enjoy life for now. Someone will eventually come along.
I found most Chinese women don't like being stared at, funny yet they can do it to us. I'm not doing anything, come on over, I'll pick you up at the Toronto airport.
LAR:
"i found................to us." Yes Ted, that's called hypocrisy. And, it's B.S.! It ISN'T right to stare at people and Chinese need to learn that!!!!!! :( Stare back at them!!!!!!!!!!!!! "can stare............." WRONG words and thinking!! :(
seriously this girl breaks the rules.......Go Girl........Ms.Brave and confidence.........Wish you all the best
it has nothing to do with being shy,western mums teach their kids from a young age not to talk to strangers for their own safety, you have to remember in the western country people are nice to you when they want something, im sure things are different in china and its safer, maybe you should be the one to start the conversation, and lesson for the future stop calling people westerners or foreigners we dont want to hear this, we already know who we are,i understand you dont mean to be rude but somethings are better kept in your head no need to say everything that pops up in your head, what might be right for you may not be right for some
GhostMan:
Or maybe the men should just man up and go talk to the cute girl instead of making excuses about being taught to not talk to strangers as a kid. Yeah, I was taught that too. Then I realized it's a ridiculous way to live. She shouldn't be forced to be the brave one, the man should be the brave one.
interesting question which aroused sex difference cultural difference west/east difference. A little overgeneralised to me and unnecessary argument. well i d say if i were a foreign guy a Chinese girl smile at me on the street i d feel "whats she doing what does she want is this a con?" lol. my suggestion to this girl i wouldnt meet guys on the street go out to decent places a friends' party a good jazz bar a coffee shop or a qualified professional dating webiste ... you go girl good luck or try talking to a foreign girl you never know ;p
I am wondering why do you just want expats to approach you?By the way,it seems that you are not that shy from what you wrote above.Sorry,i don't mean to offend you,just tell the truth.
Victoria1987:
Some one like brown guy,some one like white guy,some one like yellow guy,It is about the taste, nothing wrong.And then I like European looking man
Createach:
you see?!!!!.....You broke Chenhan's heart........are you happy with that?!!!!!........Damn she is not the shy type for sure
it looks cheap if you walking on road side and trying to talk every girl ,don't you think so ? ,
Createach:
cheap enough................God point right here..........we foreigners also got "Face".......Thumbs up brother from another mother
Victoria1987:
I admire mem who are brave to jump into street to the girls catch their attentions.
There used to have some old expats spoke with me in the street,but they are too old for me.Well,I said thank you then refused them.Now a latino is kind of chasing me,he is the guy I met in the street,but feel he is so warm,I dont think he is suitable to me,he wanted to see me naked in webcame.Another iran guy who was m y client in previously company he is the same with the latino guy.I feel they are not reliable.:
you admire those men and those acts but you never thought of those cheap acts they do ,when you will grow old and get more mature you will find these acts cheap and immature ,and i think a real gentleman can never act like this in his life ,this is my thinking and my opinion.may be i am wrong and i sounds like an old fashion guy to you but i think it is how it should be
Victoria1987:
What if a attractive chinese woman try to speak with you in the street.And she is your type,will you walk away or continue with her?
:
if someone wants to talk to you ,off course you can't just walk away,you have to talk to them and talk to them in a nice and humble way
Bona:
Yeah, trying to talk a girl up on the street gives the impression you are some kind of an excited teenager who is not sure about what he wants/needs in life. I meet so many beautiful girls on the street but I don't talk to them for this simple reason...and some here have said, serious guys, looking for a respectable relationship wont do that. And Victoria, the same 'shy' guys that don't talk to you on the street will confidently walk to you if you met at some gathering like a party etc. There they will have something to talk about....What will a serious guy talk about with u on the street?
I don't know many foreign single men that could be called "shy" my dear. But if you are fat, ugly, or dress frumpy, you may have your answer. Yeah, I know beauty is only skin deep, but really,that very first initial attraction is usually a physical thing.
I don't know many foreign single men that could be called "shy" my dear. But if you are fat, ugly, or dress frumpy, you may have your answer. Yeah, I know beauty is only skin deep, but really,that very first initial attraction is usually a physical thing.
P.S. Try wearing a T-Shirt that says "Single & Looking" and put an email or mobile number on it as well. You might get a few surprises and one or two might even be good ones! Good luck!
P.S.S. And most foreigners do not like short hair or girls that look or act like guys.
Victoria1987:
1,Pretty light skin
2,Sexy body shape.
3,Long hair.
4,Mosttime am stylist dressed up
But awfully,I am only 156cm,quite short,huh?
I don't kown if I am a pretty woman.Recently no guy looks at me in the street.
I do agree that as a gentleman I might smile at a girl in the street but certainly would not approach her directly unless she gave a clear invitation. Most of the girls who approach men in Shanghai or Beijing are prostitutes calling themselves, students, guides, masseur with a happy ending (like that one) and such like. So most of the time I am polite but say sorry I am busy right now. Also I am not a free English teacher - as many girls think you should be. You have to also be careful of the wallet seekers, passport dreamers, shopping companions and such like - many materialistic girls here - no care or interest in your except for what they can get. Having said that there are many pleasant and kind girls in China - just not that easy to find in the crowd.
WhiteBear:
for a passport seeker good way is to reply in fluent russian or other slavic language...
Victoria1987:
Do agree with you,when girls kown I like european looking men,they always tell I can get passport or something.Sort of gross I would say.Did I see I am interested in this passport?Many chinese girls are materializm.Hard to dick some good ones out.
crimochina:
but the pleasure is in dicking until you find a good one
Victoria1987:
The pleasure is you go to there and just find some one right here,then you kown he/she is the one.
I just look, well sometimes because I find Chinese women for the most part ugly and un-attractive. So for my its not the shyness, its the lack of beauty!
